How To Help Boyfriend Relax?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not responsible for his happiness. And if he cannot handle stress now — wait until you are married with a toddler, a baby and aging parents. If he cannot figure this out now, it doesn’t bode well.

+1, work won’t get less stressful and there is no newborn to occupy you while he has corral the toddler. I would love to have a stressful 11 hour day and then come home to a supportive partner trying to reduce my stress- that seems like zen

OP here. We don’t want kids.

Interesting. Well that’s good I guess if this is the current dynamic and track.

Please still build your own activities, support groups, friend groups, hobbies, interests and goals.

Why is it “ interesting” OP and her boyfriend don’t want kids?

It’s interesting because she then sounds needy since she will be home alone a lot or having a BF/spouse who works a lot or has pressure to take calls at night, vacations, etc. Many white collar men do set boundaries around kid stuff and time, so not having any could really ramp up the lack of boundaries.

[Anonymous]

In conclusion, don’t be needy! He won’t see or fulfill YOUR needs. Unless you’re the same Flip The Switch type person where you ignore each other 5-6 days and then flip to say hi on day 7 or when convenient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not responsible for his happiness. And if he cannot handle stress now — wait until you are married with a toddler, a baby and aging parents. If he cannot figure this out now, it doesn’t bode well.

+1, work won’t get less stressful and there is no newborn to occupy you while he has corral the toddler. I would love to have a stressful 11 hour day and then come home to a supportive partner trying to reduce my stress- that seems like zen

OP here. We don’t want kids.

Interesting. Well that’s good I guess if this is the current dynamic and track.

Please still build your own activities, support groups, friend groups, hobbies, interests and goals.

Why is it “ interesting” OP and her boyfriend don’t want kids?

It’s interesting because she then sounds needy since she will be home alone a lot or having a BF/spouse who works a lot or has pressure to take calls at night, vacations, etc. Many white collar men do set boundaries around kid stuff and time, so not having any could really ramp up the lack of boundaries.

OP here. We may have kids, we may not. We are mostly set on not having kids.

I have plenty of friends and hobbies. I’m home more because of the pandemic, but I don’t spend very waking hour with him. I work, workout, and will watch the one read. Before the pandemic, I was very social and always out doing various hobbies like working out, hiking, taking cooking classes, etc. I’m a natural introvert and love my own alone time. I’m used to being alone.

[Anonymous]

You live with him and therefore have eliminated other choices for yourself re: dating and yet it's likely someone else would be a better match.