College students who want to relax during the summer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be concerned, because I wouldn't allow it.

My kids do/will work summers starting when they're 16.
Not doing so is lazy and shows no work ethic.
Kids can work a part-time job AND relax during summer- plenty of hours in the day.
I worked and took classes and still had free time with friends.

I also hire new staff at my company, and not having a summer job/internship will make me not give you a 2nd interview

This! Heck, they can work a full-time job. I'm not sure why people are acting like these things are mutually exclusive. What other responsibilities do they have? It's not like they are saddled with kids in the evening or on weekends. When you don't have kids there's plenty of time in the week to do things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS graduated in May and have been goofing off with friends and playing online games, he got a job lined up but won't start until Sept. Figure it's his last time for slacking off before starting his 40+ years of working.

You college graduate is living like a 15 year old? Fantastic!

I think you missed the part where pp said he has a job lined up starting in September.

No I didn't. I just wouldn't be proud of an adult spending the summer being a bum and mooching off me. And big whoop he has a job that's generally expected of adults.

dp who cares what you think. It isn't your kid so not your problem!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure exactly where I land on this because I would need a lot more info. But I do want to relate the following:

I worked really hard every summer off in college and grad school. I had jobs, internships, volunteer work. I worked on a presidential campaign. I worked on campus and off campus, plus picked up tutoring gigs and taught test prep classes. I also took extra classes in the summer before my junior and senior year because I changed my major and still wanted to graduate on time. I never once had a relaxed or aimless summer from the age of about 16 on.

And I regret it. At this point I've gotten over it (I'm in my 40s now), but in my late 20s and early 30s I hit a point of serious burnout and realized that back when my friends had been having some aimless, relaxed summers in college, they'd been accomplishing something important, too. At the time I'd felt like that was a waste, that I needed to hustle if I was going to achieve my goals. But I could have done much, much less and still accomplished what I wanted. I did drive myself mildly crazy and in retrospect a lot of my efforts were due to intense anxiety over money (I mostly self-funded school) and my future. I think I would have benefited from taking at least one of those summers and just cutting myself some slack. Work a part-time job at a bookstore, spend the rest of the time reading, hiking, and going out with friends. This is what I would advise to most college students trying to figure how to make the most of that time. I know it's trite, but college really is about "finding yourself" to some degree. And being laser focused on career goals is not a great way to find yourself.

Cut your college kids a break. I think I would encourage them to do something with their summer, even if it's just read some classic novels or take a writing class. But I don't think it's a big deal if they don't want to spend their summer working a career-focused job or padding their resumes or whatever. They have plenty of time.

There really is a middle ground between "work yourself to the bone," and "spend the whole summer slacking off on your parents' dime." Personally, I had to work during the summers because my family wasn't rolling in dough, so I had to earn my own spending money. But I didn't work a full-time job on top of a bunch of other stuff. I had time to relax and have fun, too.

I would not be okay with my kid just "relaxing" all summer. If she doesn't need to work, she can get a part-time job, or volunteer somewhere, or take a class, or learn an instrument, or something. But you need something to structure your time, not just loaf around for two or three months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure exactly where I land on this because I would need a lot more info. But I do want to relate the following:

I worked really hard every summer off in college and grad school. I had jobs, internships, volunteer work. I worked on a presidential campaign. I worked on campus and off campus, plus picked up tutoring gigs and taught test prep classes. I also took extra classes in the summer before my junior and senior year because I changed my major and still wanted to graduate on time. I never once had a relaxed or aimless summer from the age of about 16 on.

And I regret it. At this point I've gotten over it (I'm in my 40s now), but in my late 20s and early 30s I hit a point of serious burnout and realized that back when my friends had been having some aimless, relaxed summers in college, they'd been accomplishing something important, too. At the time I'd felt like that was a waste, that I needed to hustle if I was going to achieve my goals. But I could have done much, much less and still accomplished what I wanted. I did drive myself mildly crazy and in retrospect a lot of my efforts were due to intense anxiety over money (I mostly self-funded school) and my future. I think I would have benefited from taking at least one of those summers and just cutting myself some slack. Work a part-time job at a bookstore, spend the rest of the time reading, hiking, and going out with friends. This is what I would advise to most college students trying to figure how to make the most of that time. I know it's trite, but college really is about "finding yourself" to some degree. And being laser focused on career goals is not a great way to find yourself.

Cut your college kids a break. I think I would encourage them to do something with their summer, even if it's just read some classic novels or take a writing class. But I don't think it's a big deal if they don't want to spend their summer working a career-focused job or padding their resumes or whatever. They have plenty of time.

There really is a middle ground between "work yourself to the bone," and "spend the whole summer slacking off on your parents' dime." Personally, I had to work during the summers because my family wasn't rolling in dough, so I had to earn my own spending money. But I didn't work a full-time job on top of a bunch of other stuff. I had time to relax and have fun, too.

I would not be okay with my kid just "relaxing" all summer. If she doesn't need to work, she can get a part-time job, or volunteer somewhere, or take a class, or learn an instrument, or something. But you need something to structure your time, not just loaf around for two or three months.

NP. I mostly agree, but what if kid were excelling in an extremely demanding academic program? Think pre-med at a top university.

I'm fine with relaxing IF they've earned it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure exactly where I land on this because I would need a lot more info. But I do want to relate the following:

I worked really hard every summer off in college and grad school. I had jobs, internships, volunteer work. I worked on a presidential campaign. I worked on campus and off campus, plus picked up tutoring gigs and taught test prep classes. I also took extra classes in the summer before my junior and senior year because I changed my major and still wanted to graduate on time. I never once had a relaxed or aimless summer from the age of about 16 on.

And I regret it. At this point I've gotten over it (I'm in my 40s now), but in my late 20s and early 30s I hit a point of serious burnout and realized that back when my friends had been having some aimless, relaxed summers in college, they'd been accomplishing something important, too. At the time I'd felt like that was a waste, that I needed to hustle if I was going to achieve my goals. But I could have done much, much less and still accomplished what I wanted. I did drive myself mildly crazy and in retrospect a lot of my efforts were due to intense anxiety over money (I mostly self-funded school) and my future. I think I would have benefited from taking at least one of those summers and just cutting myself some slack. Work a part-time job at a bookstore, spend the rest of the time reading, hiking, and going out with friends. This is what I would advise to most college students trying to figure how to make the most of that time. I know it's trite, but college really is about "finding yourself" to some degree. And being laser focused on career goals is not a great way to find yourself.

Cut your college kids a break. I think I would encourage them to do something with their summer, even if it's just read some classic novels or take a writing class. But I don't think it's a big deal if they don't want to spend their summer working a career-focused job or padding their resumes or whatever. They have plenty of time.

There really is a middle ground between "work yourself to the bone," and "spend the whole summer slacking off on your parents' dime." Personally, I had to work during the summers because my family wasn't rolling in dough, so I had to earn my own spending money. But I didn't work a full-time job on top of a bunch of other stuff. I had time to relax and have fun, too.

I would not be okay with my kid just "relaxing" all summer. If she doesn't need to work, she can get a part-time job, or volunteer somewhere, or take a class, or learn an instrument, or something. But you need something to structure your time, not just loaf around for two or three months.

NP. I mostly agree, but what if kid were excelling in an extremely demanding academic program? Think pre-med at a top university.

I'm fine with relaxing IF they've earned it.

How about just pre-med.

[Anonymous]

Depends..they need to do something besides sit on a computer (unless they are learning a new programming language or something).

However, and this is a big pet peeve for me, and know that I am coming from a place where my DC had a huge mental breakdown that cost him a year of school to be mentally well again. From the time they start school, it's "What do you want to be when you grow up". In elementary it's "omg, they are reading/learning math fast enough, they are behind"; 5th grade is about what you want to accomplish in middle school (along with 'career planning'); Middle school is "OMG...hurry up and get high school credits so you're not 'behind' " again, and make sure to get in the specialized program for your career choice; high school is hurry up and pick a career and make sure you have at least 2 years of gen eds already so you aren't behind in college, so you know, you can hurry up and start working in a career you had to pick as a child. College? yep...internships and jobs and don't you dare stop at all to have any life, or family vacations (that's over) or time with friends. WORK. Intern. get ahead or John will beat you to it. Whatever "it" is.

And no, I don't come from money, and yes, I had to work to get through college and have always worked. But I had jobs to make money, not get ahead (lawn mowing, estate caretaker, office jobs, cleaning jobs).

So yeah, depending on my own DC and their own situation, I might let them (SHOCK!) take a break at some point before they get broken. We're stressing our kids out.

Rant over.

[Anonymous]

I don't think they have to work the entire summer, but no lazing about from May to Aug./Sept.

My oldest is 20 and did a 2 week intensive program right after her classes ended. She then worked June & July, M-F, and is now taking August off before her college resumes after Labor Day.

I'm fine with this type of summer plan.

My 18 yo worked all summer as a lifeguard and even worked a few private pool party gigs on his days off. He even decided to stay home and work while we did a family vacation, but he did get an after graduation beach trip, so there was that. His optimistic goal is that things will be "normal" during his first spring break from college and he can pay for his own trip wherever he wants to go, so that's why he was hustling.

I push them to get jobs when they're able to drive. Before that they need to do volunteer work at the very least during the summer.