College students who want to relax during the summer

[Anonymous]

My DD didn’t this for one summer between freshman and sophomore year of college. We have a beach house filled with friends and family all summer and she has two young siblings. She wasn’t sleeping until noon and then out all night however. She got up early, hung out with her siblings, read a ton of books and just occasionally saw friends in the evenings. She was at a really tough school and was away from home for the first time so I think she just needed to reconnect and regroup. I actually loved that summer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you'd be concerned about this, why?

I just don't think doing nothing for 3 months is a healthy way to live. Most people I know who are living that was are deeply unhappy unless they party all the time which is also not great.

Deeply unhappy for taking 3 months off? Oh my! You live in a different world than me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS graduated in May and have been goofing off with friends and playing online games, he got a job lined up but won't start until Sept. Figure it's his last time for slacking off before starting his 40+ years of working.

You college graduate is living like a 15 year old? Fantastic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS graduated in May and have been goofing off with friends and playing online games, he got a job lined up but won't start until Sept. Figure it's his last time for slacking off before starting his 40+ years of working.

You college graduate is living like a 15 year old? Fantastic!

I think you missed the part where pp said he has a job lined up starting in September.

[Anonymous]

As someone who worked in an elementary school for over 20 years and never worked during the summers, or during the winter and spring breaks for that matter, I highly recommend it. Now I'm retired and every season is summer, it's awesome.

And BTW I was my sole support so it wasn't because I didn't need money, it was because I chose to live on what I made without working an extra job in the summer. I'm not sure why some people here think that's such a crazy concept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure exactly where I land on this because I would need a lot more info. But I do want to relate the following:

I worked really hard every summer off in college and grad school. I had jobs, internships, volunteer work. I worked on a presidential campaign. I worked on campus and off campus, plus picked up tutoring gigs and taught test prep classes. I also took extra classes in the summer before my junior and senior year because I changed my major and still wanted to graduate on time. I never once had a relaxed or aimless summer from the age of about 16 on.

And I regret it. At this point I've gotten over it (I'm in my 40s now), but in my late 20s and early 30s I hit a point of serious burnout and realized that back when my friends had been having some aimless, relaxed summers in college, they'd been accomplishing something important, too. At the time I'd felt like that was a waste, that I needed to hustle if I was going to achieve my goals. But I could have done much, much less and still accomplished what I wanted. I did drive myself mildly crazy and in retrospect a lot of my efforts were due to intense anxiety over money (I mostly self-funded school) and my future. I think I would have benefited from taking at least one of those summers and just cutting myself some slack. Work a part-time job at a bookstore, spend the rest of the time reading, hiking, and going out with friends. This is what I would advise to most college students trying to figure how to make the most of that time. I know it's trite, but college really is about "finding yourself" to some degree. And being laser focused on career goals is not a great way to find yourself.

Cut your college kids a break. I think I would encourage them to do something with their summer, even if it's just read some classic novels or take a writing class. But I don't think it's a big deal if they don't want to spend their summer working a career-focused job or padding their resumes or whatever. They have plenty of time.

+1 the next time they’ll be able to take a month to relax, they’ll be retired. Let them enjoy youth before everything is about their careers because they have decades of that ahead of them

Another +1 from a parent of a current college student. Especially this past year has been tough. My DC's excellent college was able to be 100 percent open and on campus with restrictions on gatherings, with masking policies etc. The student body was fantastic about sticking to the rules (which were strict--they couldn't leave campus except with permission for medical appointments etc.). They got two relatively normal semesters but it was still very, very stressful with the spectre of potential closure over their heads, not being able to socialize "normally" etc. DC is here at home, working on a research project for a professor, very minimal stuff but it's something and it's fun. Otherwise basically regrouping before having to return in a fall when things are actually worse re: Covid. No regrets about a more relaxed summer at home in the middle of all this insane tension.

[Anonymous]

Protestant work ethic is alive and well in this country. To be idle is to affront God.

[Anonymous]

My twin nephews took one summer off while in college to backpack around Nepal and India in the Himalayas, with their parents’ blessing. They are both accomplished young men in great careers now and have fond memories of that time since they don’t have much leisure to travel now. It doesn’t have to be the end of the world, OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure exactly where I land on this because I would need a lot more info. But I do want to relate the following:

I worked really hard every summer off in college and grad school. I had jobs, internships, volunteer work. I worked on a presidential campaign. I worked on campus and off campus, plus picked up tutoring gigs and taught test prep classes. I also took extra classes in the summer before my junior and senior year because I changed my major and still wanted to graduate on time. I never once had a relaxed or aimless summer from the age of about 16 on.

And I regret it. At this point I've gotten over it (I'm in my 40s now), but in my late 20s and early 30s I hit a point of serious burnout and realized that back when my friends had been having some aimless, relaxed summers in college, they'd been accomplishing something important, too. At the time I'd felt like that was a waste, that I needed to hustle if I was going to achieve my goals. But I could have done much, much less and still accomplished what I wanted. I did drive myself mildly crazy and in retrospect a lot of my efforts were due to intense anxiety over money (I mostly self-funded school) and my future. I think I would have benefited from taking at least one of those summers and just cutting myself some slack. Work a part-time job at a bookstore, spend the rest of the time reading, hiking, and going out with friends. This is what I would advise to most college students trying to figure how to make the most of that time. I know it's trite, but college really is about "finding yourself" to some degree. And being laser focused on career goals is not a great way to find yourself.

Cut your college kids a break. I think I would encourage them to do something with their summer, even if it's just read some classic novels or take a writing class. But I don't think it's a big deal if they don't want to spend their summer working a career-focused job or padding their resumes or whatever. They have plenty of time.

+1
For me as a parent, it depends on what their college class courseload is like. If it is intense schoolwork, constantly having assignments, tests and projects due, and they just want a break before picking it up again in the fall, I would be fine with them taking a break for the summer. They would just have to recognize that they will not have internship work experience on their resume when they are job hunting after school is out, or less than they would have otherwise. If they understand the choice they are making, I'm fine with the break and doing as the above PP desribed. I WOULD encourage them to do this only one summer and get internships for the rest or related part-time work for the rest of the summers.

Except for a few jobs, the workload of a full college class schedule is more intense than a work day. So appreciating their need for some downtime so that they reenergize for the workload to start again is understandable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS graduated in May and have been goofing off with friends and playing online games, he got a job lined up but won't start until Sept. Figure it's his last time for slacking off before starting his 40+ years of working.

You college graduate is living like a 15 year old? Fantastic!

I think you missed the part where pp said he has a job lined up starting in September.

No I didn't. I just wouldn't be proud of an adult spending the summer being a bum and mooching off me. And big whoop he has a job that's generally expected of adults.

[Anonymous]

This is a question I ask when conducting interviews with college students for internships or jobs. Learn a lot about them with how they answer.

[Anonymous]

I encouraged my sons to work summers in high school and during college. As I wrote all the tuition checks, I thought it was fair for them to earn their spending money for the following year. Some think your exhausted student would take the summer to read novels, but I am betting social media and gaming would win out. I may be older, but think a summer hourly job is good for kids to learn to listen to their boss, show up on time and how to treat the public. I complained once to my dad about a job I had during college. He told me that the only thing I had to learn there was that I didn’t want to do this job the rest of my life. He was right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I wouldn't be concerned. I wouldn't allow it. They wouldn't be welcome to "relax" at my home, and I wouldn't pay for anything for them during that time, nor would I pay for their schooling. That's just simply not allowed. We all wish we could relax for a few months out of the year.

College is a joke. Please stop acting like fully-funded college or even college with a part-time job is hard. It's the funnest time of your life. Half the days you get to sleep in, or even every day if you schedule all late morning and afternoon classes. You can binge drink a few days a week. You take road trips. You maybe d*** around in a few clubs. Maybe. You're sleeping with a b/f or g/f or playing hookup culture. It's a joke to act like college is stressful or "hard".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS graduated in May and have been goofing off with friends and playing online games, he got a job lined up but won't start until Sept. Figure it's his last time for slacking off before starting his 40+ years of working.

You college graduate is living like a 15 year old? Fantastic!

I think you missed the part where pp said he has a job lined up starting in September.

No I didn't. I just wouldn't be proud of an adult spending the summer being a bum and mooching off me. And big whoop he has a job that's generally expected of adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I wouldn't be concerned. I wouldn't allow it. They wouldn't be welcome to "relax" at my home, and I wouldn't pay for anything for them during that time, nor would I pay for their schooling. That's just simply not allowed. We all wish we could relax for a few months out of the year.

College is a joke. Please stop acting like fully-funded college or even college with a part-time job is hard. It's the funnest time of your life. Half the days you get to sleep in, or even every day if you schedule all late morning and afternoon classes. You can binge drink a few days a week. You take road trips. You maybe d*** around in a few clubs. Maybe. You're sleeping with a b/f or g/f or playing hookup culture. It's a joke to act like college is stressful or "hard".

lol. Nationally most kids fail out of college. Even more kids fail out of majors like engineering and computer science. There is no way I could’ve had a car in college—any money that a car would’ve needed to be maintained went straight to my tuition.

Everything you said only applies if you are a rich kid.