Hiring Childcare - Afraid Of Being Judged

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had night care nannies (plural, they were a team) from 10PM to 6AM every night for nearly four months. In the beginning, they’d bring the baby to me to nurse several times a night and then they’d burp and resettle him while I went back to sleep. After about a month, I was pumping enough for the nannies to give him pumped bottles and I was getting a solid 8 hours every single night.

I felt great, enjoyed my baby all day long. I couldn’t possibly care if anyone judged me for it. It made me a better mother and better person.

I always thought that if only I could have gotten some sleep and not been caring for my baby 24/7, then I may have been able to enjoy it. Instead I had zero help and was absolutely miserable up until my kids were at least 10 months old or so.

We were never meant to do it alone. It’s only in recent human history that mothers were expected to do it all by themselves.

OP here. I love being with my baby. I do not have PPD. I know many women suffer with it and do not want to act like my situation is similar. I have fibromyalgia and many things like doing the dishes or sitting in certain positions can cause nerve pain. All the holding and rocking has led to tense sore muscles and some nerve pain. I need some help so I have some days to rest. I’m also trying to pump and figure out nursing.

[Anonymous]

Some people will judge, but oh well. You want to be in pain and drained or be judged and feel rested and recovered? Pick one.

If the topic comes up and you feel the need to justify, saying you have a medical complication you need help with is appropriate. But you don’t have to say anything at all or justify- you do what is best for you and baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had night care nannies (plural, they were a team) from 10PM to 6AM every night for nearly four months. In the beginning, they’d bring the baby to me to nurse several times a night and then they’d burp and resettle him while I went back to sleep. After about a month, I was pumping enough for the nannies to give him pumped bottles and I was getting a solid 8 hours every single night.

I felt great, enjoyed my baby all day long. I couldn’t possibly care if anyone judged me for it. It made me a better mother and better person.

I always thought that if only I could have gotten some sleep and not been caring for my baby 24/7, then I may have been able to enjoy it. Instead I had zero help and was absolutely miserable up until my kids were at least 10 months old or so.

We were never meant to do it alone. It’s only in recent human history that mothers were expected to do it all by themselves.

OP here. I love being with my baby. I do not have PPD. I know many women suffer with it and do not want to act like my situation is similar. I have fibromyalgia and many things like doing the dishes or sitting in certain positions can cause nerve pain. All the holding and rocking has led to tense sore muscles and some nerve pain. I need some help so I have some days to rest. I’m also trying to pump and figure out nursing.

Op, me and PP are on your side and saying to go
For
It!!!!!! Even if you didn’t have your
Own health challenges, it’s a wonderful thing to have some help!!!

[Anonymous]

Op, it sounds like you have chronic medical issues. I would lead with that when/if you have this conversation with people. I would 100% judge and able bodied woman for hiring this much help (does she not want to spend time with her baby???) but having fibromyalgia is an added factor that makes it make sense that you actually do need the help, it’s not that you are being lazy and don’t like your baby.

[Anonymous]

I commented that I have a PT housekeeper and a PT nanny with older kids and consider it my husband’s share of the work at home.

I read the rest of your posts here, and I just want to comment that, unless you had your infant prematurely, the benefits of breastmilk over formula are pretty much none. There was a huge sibling study that came out of Ohio State a few years ago that you should look at. If pumping is stressing you out, you are having to wake up at night to do it, and you can’t take care of your baby because of it, then you should really consider formula. One of the most brilliant people I have ever known is a pediatrician with fellowship training in gastroenterology and a PhD in nutrition, and he worked for Similac. Formula is only getting better since that study came out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m usually a very secure person. My MIL and my friends are amazing. My MIL wanted to gift us a postpartum doula but she wasn’t sure how I would feel about it. My family on the other hand is super judge mental. My mom raised 6 kids and “ did it all by herself”. My sister wouldn’t hire help because she said it’s for “ lazy moms who don’t want to raise their kids. We looked the Snoo thing and my sister said it was for lazy parents. I don’t want to hear any comments from them if I hire childcare.

It sounds like they will judge if any of your decisions vary from theirs.

Do they have fibro? If not, they don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m considering hiring a night nanny and a PT nanny. I have one newborn child. I could use the help but I’m nervous about people judging me for hiring help. I don’t want to my friends/family to silently judge me and think I’m a bad mom. Any tips and advice to get over it or not let nay judgement bother me?

I won't be silent as I judge you as lazy and selfish, which you are. It is your responsibility as a parent to take care of your children. You owe this to them!

^OP, when you hear something like this, plug your ears and sing la la la la while you thank your nanny for being another supportive caregiver in your child’s life.

Thank her for being the mothy that you are incapable of being because you do not love your child!

[Anonymous]

People who are critical are just jealous that they cannot afford help themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m considering hiring a night nanny and a PT nanny. I have one newborn child. I could use the help but I’m nervous about people judging me for hiring help. I don’t want to my friends/family to silently judge me and think I’m a bad mom. Any tips and advice to get over it or not let nay judgement bother me?

I won't be silent as I judge you as lazy and selfish, which you are. It is your responsibility as a parent to take care of your children. You owe this to them!

^OP, when you hear something like this, plug your ears and sing la la la la while you thank your nanny for being another supportive caregiver in your child’s life.

Thank her for being the mothy that you are incapable of being because you do not love your child!

I have no clue what you’re trying to saw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m considering hiring a night nanny and a PT nanny. I have one newborn child. I could use the help but I’m nervous about people judging me for hiring help. I don’t want to my friends/family to silently judge me and think I’m a bad mom. Any tips and advice to get over it or not let nay judgement bother me?

I won't be silent as I judge you as lazy and selfish, which you are. It is your responsibility as a parent to take care of your children. You owe this to them!

^OP, when you hear something like this, plug your ears and sing la la la la while you thank your nanny for being another supportive caregiver in your child’s life.

Thank her for being the mothy that you are incapable of being because you do not love your child!

I have no clue what you’re trying to saw.

*say. I have no clue what you’re trying to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m considering hiring a night nanny and a PT nanny. I have one newborn child. I could use the help but I’m nervous about people judging me for hiring help. I don’t want to my friends/family to silently judge me and think I’m a bad mom. Any tips and advice to get over it or not let nay judgement bother me?

I won't be silent as I judge you as lazy and selfish, which you are. It is your responsibility as a parent to take care of your children. You owe this to them!

^OP, when you hear something like this, plug your ears and sing la la la la while you thank your nanny for being another supportive caregiver in your child’s life.

Thank her for being the mothy that you are incapable of being because you do not love your child!

I have no clue what you’re trying to saw.

*say. I have no clue what you’re trying to say.

Ignore it. That our sad fat troll. She haunts this board even though she can’t afford a nanny. She’s a pathetic soul.