Perfume is Unfashionable and Inconsiderate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mask up. If you can smell the perfume you are too close and not wearing a proper mask.

Or your co-worker dumped too much perfume on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perfume is not unfashionable. You need to get out of DC more.

It’s true that many American women do not know how to apply scent properly. It is also true that people have allergies and asthma (I do!). But there are millions of people who enjoy fragrance without overdoing it or asphyxiating.

*Obligatory "International Women Do Everything Better" Poster has entered the chat.*

When I go abroad, the perfumes are overwhelming. The men are especially bad.

[Anonymous]

I am super curious about how many women posting on here actually work in an office in close proximity to other people. I'm guessing not very many.

When I worked in cubicles, I was physically very close to some colleagues and things like strong scented hand lotion and perfume that lasted all day definitely bothered me and I find it very insensitive to use that stuff. There are signs in the kitchen about not heating up fish because of the odor, and I view strong perfumes/lotions in that same category and wish there was signs about that, too. Over the course of my career, I've had to ask a handful of colleagues if they wouldn't mind changing their lotion or if they could tone down the perfume because it was giving me a headache. They've all been very kind about it.

I would never complain about someone walking by wearing a strong scent because that goes away, but sitting right next to someone with a very strong smell gives me a massive headache, which in turn makes me unproductive at work. If you want me to do my job well, then you need to let me do it in an environment where I'm not feeling ill or being distracted.

Thankfully I'm senior now and have my own office, so it's no longer an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These threads are so weird to me because I am definitely "scent sensitive" in that I notice smells very easily and more than others do. But I have no allergies or medical issue that make the smells affect me. I just notice them, even subtle smells, good and bad.

But I don't view that as a reason to demand other people stop wearing perfume. That's bizarre to me. I get if you have an allergy or similar and therefore can't work near someone wearing strong perfume. In that case, ask for an accommodation -- makes perfect sense (scents, ha!).

But to demand that all the old ladies at the Kennedy Center stop wearing their perfumes? To get angry about smelling someone else's perfume in a waiting room or standing on line at the post office? This just seems so controlling to me. Sometimes other people's perfume bothers me, but it's a temporary annoyance, something I notice and then forget about. I don't go home fuming about some woman on the bus and her heavy perfume.

These complaints are like eavesdropping on people and then complaining that their conversation is dull. Just move along. It doesn't concern you.

Here, this is the right answer.

[Anonymous]

Look, perfume wearers. The point of threads like this is to tell you that a significant portion of people are either allergic or just hate the smell of perfrume. Maybe you were already aware of that and have made a personal decision that your individual desire to smell a specific way outweighs the needs/desires of others in the community.
People that have made that decision are not going to be swayed by threads like this.
I do wonder if there was a secret poll of their coworkers, how many would say they were irritated by the smell.
I also wonder if places like the K center did a perfume free section, like they used to have smoking and non smoking sections, how it would impact behavior. I bet a lot of perfume wearers would leave the perfume off because they don’t want to sit around all the other stinky people. They only like their own perfume smell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am super curious about how many women posting on here actually work in an office in close proximity to other people. I'm guessing not very many.

When I worked in cubicles, I was physically very close to some colleagues and things like strong scented hand lotion and perfume that lasted all day definitely bothered me and I find it very insensitive to use that stuff. There are signs in the kitchen about not heating up fish because of the odor, and I view strong perfumes/lotions in that same category and wish there was signs about that, too. Over the course of my career, I've had to ask a handful of colleagues if they wouldn't mind changing their lotion or if they could tone down the perfume because it was giving me a headache. They've all been very kind about it.

I would never complain about someone walking by wearing a strong scent because that goes away, but sitting right next to someone with a very strong smell gives me a massive headache, which in turn makes me unproductive at work. If you want me to do my job well, then you need to let me do it in an environment where I'm not feeling ill or being distracted.

Thankfully I'm senior now and have my own office, so it's no longer an issue.

This is a reason cubicles need to die because anything could be someone’s sensitivity or allergy. I have a smell trigger for my PTSD. It doesn’t take more than a whiff to set off a flashback. I do not expect to control anyone’s behaviors other than my own. I have specifically avoided certain workplaces as a result because I’m not an entitled ahole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, perfume wearers. The point of threads like this is to tell you that a significant portion of people are either allergic or just hate the smell of perfrume. Maybe you were already aware of that and have made a personal decision that your individual desire to smell a specific way outweighs the needs/desires of others in the community.
People that have made that decision are not going to be swayed by threads like this.
I do wonder if there was a secret poll of their coworkers, how many would say they were irritated by the smell.
I also wonder if places like the K center did a perfume free section, like they used to have smoking and non smoking sections, how it would impact behavior. I bet a lot of perfume wearers would leave the perfume off because they don’t want to sit around all the other stinky people. They only like their own perfume smell.

There are a lot of things that people do, wear, say and choose that bother me. But because I'm an adult, unless it has a direct and lasting negative impact on me or those I love, I just live my life.

Yeah, I'd speak up if someone in the next cubicle was directly affecting me. You can, too. Like a grown-up. But the world just...doesn't need to change for you. Just like it doesn't change for me. People smoke. People tailgate. People don't use turn signals. People stand too close. People talk loudly on their cell phones in public. People wear Confederate flag T-shirts. That's the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, perfume wearers. The point of threads like this is to tell you that a significant portion of people are either allergic or just hate the smell of perfrume. Maybe you were already aware of that and have made a personal decision that your individual desire to smell a specific way outweighs the needs/desires of others in the community.
People that have made that decision are not going to be swayed by threads like this.
I do wonder if there was a secret poll of their coworkers, how many would say they were irritated by the smell.
I also wonder if places like the K center did a perfume free section, like they used to have smoking and non smoking sections, how it would impact behavior. I bet a lot of perfume wearers would leave the perfume off because they don’t want to sit around all the other stinky people. They only like their own perfume smell.

I like this solution to the perfume and many other problems involving specific health issues or sensitivities. They have "sensory friendly" movies for kids with autism and other sensory issues, so why not a specific section on a specific day that is "fragrance free"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These threads are so weird to me because I am definitely "scent sensitive" in that I notice smells very easily and more than others do. But I have no allergies or medical issue that make the smells affect me. I just notice them, even subtle smells, good and bad.

But I don't view that as a reason to demand other people stop wearing perfume. That's bizarre to me. I get if you have an allergy or similar and therefore can't work near someone wearing strong perfume. In that case, ask for an accommodation -- makes perfect sense (scents, ha!).

But to demand that all the old ladies at the Kennedy Center stop wearing their perfumes? To get angry about smelling someone else's perfume in a waiting room or standing on line at the post office? This just seems so controlling to me. Sometimes other people's perfume bothers me, but it's a temporary annoyance, something I notice and then forget about. I don't go home fuming about some woman on the bus and her heavy perfume.

These complaints are like eavesdropping on people and then complaining that their conversation is dull. Just move along. It doesn't concern you.

Here, this is the right answer.

I generally don’t complain but your answer is too facile. I had some guy with cologne sit next to me on the metro and I triggered an ocular migraine. Walking from the metro station to my office, my eight decreased so I only had about 5% of my field of vision by the time I reached the office. I was about to call 911–it was really scary.
And on airplanes it’s often not possible to be reseated. The flight attendants are not super helpful on this stuff. It’s almost never an issue on business flights—it’s only flying to vacation destinations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These threads are so weird to me because I am definitely "scent sensitive" in that I notice smells very easily and more than others do. But I have no allergies or medical issue that make the smells affect me. I just notice them, even subtle smells, good and bad.

But I don't view that as a reason to demand other people stop wearing perfume. That's bizarre to me. I get if you have an allergy or similar and therefore can't work near someone wearing strong perfume. In that case, ask for an accommodation -- makes perfect sense (scents, ha!).

But to demand that all the old ladies at the Kennedy Center stop wearing their perfumes? To get angry about smelling someone else's perfume in a waiting room or standing on line at the post office? This just seems so controlling to me. Sometimes other people's perfume bothers me, but it's a temporary annoyance, something I notice and then forget about. I don't go home fuming about some woman on the bus and her heavy perfume.

These complaints are like eavesdropping on people and then complaining that their conversation is dull. Just move along. It doesn't concern you.

Here, this is the right answer.

I generally don’t complain but your answer is too facile. I had some guy with cologne sit next to me on the metro and I triggered an ocular migraine. Walking from the metro station to my office, my eight decreased so I only had about 5% of my field of vision by the time I reached the office. I was about to call 911–it was really scary.
And on airplanes it’s often not possible to be reseated. The flight attendants are not super helpful on this stuff. It’s almost never an issue on business flights—it’s only flying to vacation destinations.

Did you walk to the other end of the car, and change cars at the next stop?

[Anonymous]

Haha I love this thread. More “everyone needs to accommodate me in life” posts please!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These threads are so weird to me because I am definitely "scent sensitive" in that I notice smells very easily and more than others do. But I have no allergies or medical issue that make the smells affect me. I just notice them, even subtle smells, good and bad.

But I don't view that as a reason to demand other people stop wearing perfume. That's bizarre to me. I get if you have an allergy or similar and therefore can't work near someone wearing strong perfume. In that case, ask for an accommodation -- makes perfect sense (scents, ha!).

But to demand that all the old ladies at the Kennedy Center stop wearing their perfumes? To get angry about smelling someone else's perfume in a waiting room or standing on line at the post office? This just seems so controlling to me. Sometimes other people's perfume bothers me, but it's a temporary annoyance, something I notice and then forget about. I don't go home fuming about some woman on the bus and her heavy perfume.

These complaints are like eavesdropping on people and then complaining that their conversation is dull. Just move along. It doesn't concern you.

Here, this is the right answer.

I generally don’t complain but your answer is too facile. I had some guy with cologne sit next to me on the metro and I triggered an ocular migraine. Walking from the metro station to my office, my eight decreased so I only had about 5% of my field of vision by the time I reached the office. I was about to call 911–it was really scary.
And on airplanes it’s often not possible to be reseated. The flight attendants are not super helpful on this stuff. It’s almost never an issue on business flights—it’s only flying to vacation destinations.

Did you walk to the other end of the car, and change cars at the next stop?

+1 On what planet do you not move if seated next to someone on the Metro doing something that bothers you?

[Anonymous]

Some of you perfume lovers are ridiculous. It triggers my asthma and makes me unable to breathe, how is that not a problem? What makes people think they are more entitled to their perfume versus someone else’s inability to breathe. This is a common problem!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you perfume lovers are ridiculous. It triggers my asthma and makes me unable to breathe, how is that not a problem? What makes people think they are more entitled to their perfume versus someone else’s inability to breathe. This is a common problem!

We just want to weed out the weak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also really allergic to perfume or any kind of scented product. It's a shame. I used to love wearing Coco Chanel.

No one should wear perfume to work or every day activities. Save it for nights out.

I suffer from migraines and had to stop attending live theater, symphony performances and other concerts because of the people who bathe in cologne/perfume/after shave lotion prior to a ‘night out’. I got tired of having to walk out on an expensive ticket because someone else’s inconsiderate behavior resulted in hours or days of agony for me.


Perfume/cologne should be applied in very small quantities, able to be smelled only by you and someone who gets very intimate with you.

The issue is probably the aggregate scents, not overapplication by individuals. I can wear perfume myself and do daily. I can even sit with a group of friends wearing perfume for hours with no issue. But 15 min in Bath and Bodyworks or Perfumania will start a migraine.

I get triggered by aggregate scents too, but I can be triggered by one individual who sits nearby having doused themselves in whatever. We all know the type and we all encounter them - people who think MORE is better, and apply numerous spritzes or splashes of whatever.

I also avoid the cleaning aisle at the grocery or box store. The aggregate scent in that aisle is a nightmare.

Yes, it sucks to be a person with heightened olfaction and a migraineur to boot.

No, the typical mask we wear to suppress our droplets for covid19 transmission doesn’t help much at all at filtering odors. Just more evidence that they don’t impact our intake of oxygen, either.

I just really don’t understand people who bathe themselves in parfum/cologne/aftershave - and yes, men are terrible offenders too. I can only suspect that these people have deadened olfaction, or somehow think that their stench is actually attractive. In reality research shows our brains are best stimulated by lower levels of scents, even levels of which we aren’t consciously aware. Additionally, there is research indicating that many men prefer the natural scent of their partner to artificial scents which mask it. And finally, many people aren’t aware that the scent that they might like when they smell it in the bottle doesn’t actually mix well with their own body chemistry - sometimes it makes them smell very funky.