Resentful of rich kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a tough area. I don't think I fully appreciated how the money and the competitiveness saturates you and your lifestyle until you left. We live in a rural area now and WOW do I feel like we have it good, whereas before I always felt like the poorest person in the room.

Same.

Same here too

We are pretty high income and we made the same move. I felt average making, at the time, $500k HHI and couldn’t afford a nice house in a good school district. We moved out to the boonies and are much happier living around normal people.

So you are the one who decides what is normal?

Some people don't want to live in rural areas and it doesn't make them abnormal.

People want good schools, better career opportunities and shielding from those backward Trumpanzees who fly Confederate flags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is a tough area. I don't think I fully appreciated how the money and the competitiveness saturates you and your lifestyle until you left. We live in a rural area now and WOW do I feel like we have it good, whereas before I always felt like the poorest person in the room.

You all need new people. I own in DC -- not the trendy parts -- and no one helped me with a downpayment. My friends all work and save to have things the way I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a tough area. I don't think I fully appreciated how the money and the competitiveness saturates you and your lifestyle until you left. We live in a rural area now and WOW do I feel like we have it good, whereas before I always felt like the poorest person in the room.

You all need new people. I own in DC -- not the trendy parts -- and no one helped me with a downpayment. My friends all work and save to have things the way I do.

Where do you live? I don't care about trendy. I am interested in being among less competitive, more down to earth people. I find them hard to come by in DC. I know they must exist. I just rarely meet them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is a wealthy area in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. There will Always be people with more money than you, especially if you choose to live in an area that attracts wealthy people.

I’m middle class and grew up lower middle class and I just do not relate to OP at all. If you want to be wealthy, then go into a profession that generates high income or start a business (if you can tolerate risk). Not everyone will make I t, but not everyone gets to be wealthy just because they want to be. A few weeks ago there was a thread started by an Eastern European immigrant who lost everything to move here with the goal to become wealthy and is now successful. Surely OP had more advantages than her, no?

Also I don’t understand how people like OP are just now in adulthood realizing that life isn’t fair. [b]I guess it is a helpful lesson learned much earlier in life by those of us who grew up relatively poor. At one point in college I remember feeling a bit jealous of all of the kids cruising around in Mercedes and BMW 7 series while I struggled to afford my busted Honda civic. I realized that It is not their fault that they have these things-if my parents were in the position to gift me a nice car, I wouldn’t say no. Resentment and entitlement are really toxic.

I don’t disagree with OP that life is much easier for those that come from wealth. but there are so many people in this country who come from modest backgrounds to wealth and success. I don’t think it is healthy to feel entitled to wealth just because there are others who have more.

I grew up lower middle class with many experiences of poverty thrown in (utilities turned off, didn't always have money for groceries so ate a lot of starch). I grew up knowing life was unfair and that everyone had more than my family. But I somehow believed I could boot strap my way out of it by working hard in school and working side jobs when I was old enough and throughout college. I was never jealous of the kids with BMWs because I knew I could earn that too, eventually. What I didn't realize until I was well into adulthood was that people who started out several rungs higher up on the ladder would keep going,, thus staying higher up on the ladder. I wasn't going to "catch up" because I had more rungs to climb. I'm in my 40s and from time to time still discover ways of thinking that I have which are just so different from people who grew up with a lot more. One example, I never learned how to ask for help, I believe I was supposed to just work harder, and harder, and harder. Hard work is definitely important, but in retrospect the kids in law school who did the best were the ones who spent a lot of times in professors offices, not the ones poring over the cases and their notes in the library (where I was).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Rich people love to tell the less wealthy to be grateful that at least they're not totally destitute. It's a great deflection from their leading role in perpetuating inequality.

No trust fund here. I am the first one to go to college in my family and my husband used money left to him when his dad died to go to college. We made our money. So sick of people like you.

OMG this is so classic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You SHOULD be resentful of rich kids. Don't let the rich kids tell you different. They'll never understand.

But don't SHOW that you're resentful of rich kids, and work both smarter and harder to get rich.

Why though, to become the target of resentment by other non-rich kids? If being rich is so bad as to cause resentment, why would you want to become that very thing you resent?

Quiet down, rich kid. You'll never understand.

[Anonymous]

Save your anger for the voting booth and vote accordingly.

Otherwise, hustle.

That’s the only way I know to deal with this. Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am resentful of all the rich people who get down payments and college savings handed to them. Meanwhile here we are working like little bees getting nowhere.

I am just a little bit. But what I see is that they are not any happier than I am. In fact, some of them have issues around being handed wealth and feel the need to go on and on about how they worked so hard for everything… It just makes me roll my eyes. I probably would be more resentful if I wasn’t fortunate in my own career path and earnings to make it less of a huge deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a wealthy area in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. There will Always be people with more money than you, especially if you choose to live in an area that attracts wealthy people.

I’m middle class and grew up lower middle class and I just do not relate to OP at all. If you want to be wealthy, then go into a profession that generates high income or start a business (if you can tolerate risk). Not everyone will make I t, but not everyone gets to be wealthy just because they want to be. A few weeks ago there was a thread started by an Eastern European immigrant who lost everything to move here with the goal to become wealthy and is now successful. Surely OP had more advantages than her, no?

Also I don’t understand how people like OP are just now in adulthood realizing that life isn’t fair. [b]I guess it is a helpful lesson learned much earlier in life by those of us who grew up relatively poor. At one point in college I remember feeling a bit jealous of all of the kids cruising around in Mercedes and BMW 7 series while I struggled to afford my busted Honda civic. I realized that It is not their fault that they have these things-if my parents were in the position to gift me a nice car, I wouldn’t say no. Resentment and entitlement are really toxic.

I don’t disagree with OP that life is much easier for those that come from wealth. but there are so many people in this country who come from modest backgrounds to wealth and success. I don’t think it is healthy to feel entitled to wealth just because there are others who have more.

I grew up lower middle class with many experiences of poverty thrown in (utilities turned off, didn't always have money for groceries so ate a lot of starch). I grew up knowing life was unfair and that everyone had more than my family. But I somehow believed I could boot strap my way out of it by working hard in school and working side jobs when I was old enough and throughout college. I was never jealous of the kids with BMWs because I knew I could earn that too, eventually. What I didn't realize until I was well into adulthood was that people who started out several rungs higher up on the ladder would keep going,, thus staying higher up on the ladder. I wasn't going to "catch up" because I had more rungs to climb. I'm in my 40s and from time to time still discover ways of thinking that I have which are just so different from people who grew up with a lot more. One example, I never learned how to ask for help, I believe I was supposed to just work harder, and harder, and harder. Hard work is definitely important, but in retrospect the kids in law school who did the best were the ones who spent a lot of times in professors offices, not the ones poring over the cases and their notes in the library (where I was).

I am an immigrant and we came here with $100 in our pockets. We were in ETCH-ONE-BEE visa hell for 8 years making 30K a year in our 20s and 30s and our net savings was around $2000 because we were living on the edge of poverty. The moment our green card came our salary doubled. We had postponed everything in our life - kids, house, education because we were just subsisting. Anyhow, by mid -30s, we were so used to living in poverty that we could save whatever increase in salary we got and used that for down-payment to a house in a not high cost part of MoCo. Best decision. We had kids late, but we were saving like fiends for everything. We were so used to living on very little that could really stretch our dollars without dumpster diving or being miserly. Ask us about any service you can think of - from cooking from scratch to painting our walls to stitching clothes to knitting booties and blankets to making greeting cards to doing yardwork to tutoring - we can do it all. Now we are in our 50s. College, home. cars, retirement - we are set. Our kids have every comfort at home that they can think of and lots of financial security. We are able to afford anything that we want - vacations, cleaning service, books, electronics, eating out, nice clothes, tutors etc. My kids are still extremely frugal and careful with money. I am glad that they have this mindset. In the end, we have been able to raise a very closeknit, moral and loving family. I have been able to become a SAHM, help my kids in their education and we all feel good that we have some means to help our kids. If my kids never need our money, it is even better. My biggest happiness is that my kids have not grown up to be entitled, privileged kids. They are hard working and loving people. That we can pay for their college, a new car, a modest wedding is the extent of what we can give them. If they want to live with us for saving on rent. even better. We will not be giving them money to buy a house. We don't have that kind of money. BUT - hopefully their upbringing and the help that we can give them is enough of a helping hand. I think that if we give more than that what will they achieve on their own? What will they teach their own children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a wealthy area in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. There will Always be people with more money than you, especially if you choose to live in an area that attracts wealthy people.

I’m middle class and grew up lower middle class and I just do not relate to OP at all. If you want to be wealthy, then go into a profession that generates high income or start a business (if you can tolerate risk). Not everyone will make I t, but not everyone gets to be wealthy just because they want to be. A few weeks ago there was a thread started by an Eastern European immigrant who lost everything to move here with the goal to become wealthy and is now successful. Surely OP had more advantages than her, no?

Also I don’t understand how people like OP are just now in adulthood realizing that life isn’t fair. [b]I guess it is a helpful lesson learned much earlier in life by those of us who grew up relatively poor. At one point in college I remember feeling a bit jealous of all of the kids cruising around in Mercedes and BMW 7 series while I struggled to afford my busted Honda civic. I realized that It is not their fault that they have these things-if my parents were in the position to gift me a nice car, I wouldn’t say no. Resentment and entitlement are really toxic.

I don’t disagree with OP that life is much easier for those that come from wealth. but there are so many people in this country who come from modest backgrounds to wealth and success. I don’t think it is healthy to feel entitled to wealth just because there are others who have more.

I grew up lower middle class with many experiences of poverty thrown in (utilities turned off, didn't always have money for groceries so ate a lot of starch). I grew up knowing life was unfair and that everyone had more than my family. But I somehow believed I could boot strap my way out of it by working hard in school and working side jobs when I was old enough and throughout college. I was never jealous of the kids with BMWs because I knew I could earn that too, eventually. What I didn't realize until I was well into adulthood was that people who started out several rungs higher up on the ladder would keep going,, thus staying higher up on the ladder. I wasn't going to "catch up" because I had more rungs to climb. I'm in my 40s and from time to time still discover ways of thinking that I have which are just so different from people who grew up with a lot more. One example, I never learned how to ask for help, I believe I was supposed to just work harder, and harder, and harder. Hard work is definitely important, but in retrospect the kids in law school who did the best were the ones who spent a lot of times in professors offices, not the ones poring over the cases and their notes in the library (where I was).

I am an immigrant and we came here with $100 in our pockets. We were in ETCH-ONE-BEE visa hell for 8 years making 30K a year in our 20s and 30s and our net savings was around $2000 because we were living on the edge of poverty. The moment our green card came our salary doubled. We had postponed everything in our life - kids, house, education because we were just subsisting. Anyhow, by mid -30s, we were so used to living in poverty that we could save whatever increase in salary we got and used that for down-payment to a house in a not high cost part of MoCo. Best decision. We had kids late, but we were saving like fiends for everything. We were so used to living on very little that could really stretch our dollars without dumpster diving or being miserly. Ask us about any service you can think of - from cooking from scratch to painting our walls to stitching clothes to knitting booties and blankets to making greeting cards to doing yardwork to tutoring - we can do it all. Now we are in our 50s. College, home. cars, retirement - we are set. Our kids have every comfort at home that they can think of and lots of financial security. We are able to afford anything that we want - vacations, cleaning service, books, electronics, eating out, nice clothes, tutors etc. My kids are still extremely frugal and careful with money. I am glad that they have this mindset. In the end, we have been able to raise a very closeknit, moral and loving family. I have been able to become a SAHM, help my kids in their education and we all feel good that we have some means to help our kids. If my kids never need our money, it is even better. My biggest happiness is that my kids have not grown up to be entitled, privileged kids. They are hard working and loving people. That we can pay for their college, a new car, a modest wedding is the extent of what we can give them. If they want to live with us for saving on rent. even better. We will not be giving them money to buy a house. We don't have that kind of money. BUT - hopefully their upbringing and the help that we can give them is enough of a helping hand. I think that if we give more than that what will they achieve on their own? What will they teach their own children?

Immigrants who say this often come to the US with no debt, strong social ties with other immigrants, and a highly sought after professional background- in other words, a couple of steps ahead of many of their American peers even though they may lack funds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a wealthy area in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. There will Always be people with more money than you, especially if you choose to live in an area that attracts wealthy people.

I’m middle class and grew up lower middle class and I just do not relate to OP at all. If you want to be wealthy, then go into a profession that generates high income or start a business (if you can tolerate risk). Not everyone will make I t, but not everyone gets to be wealthy just because they want to be. A few weeks ago there was a thread started by an Eastern European immigrant who lost everything to move here with the goal to become wealthy and is now successful. Surely OP had more advantages than her, no?

Also I don’t understand how people like OP are just now in adulthood realizing that life isn’t fair. [b]I guess it is a helpful lesson learned much earlier in life by those of us who grew up relatively poor. At one point in college I remember feeling a bit jealous of all of the kids cruising around in Mercedes and BMW 7 series while I struggled to afford my busted Honda civic. I realized that It is not their fault that they have these things-if my parents were in the position to gift me a nice car, I wouldn’t say no. Resentment and entitlement are really toxic.

I don’t disagree with OP that life is much easier for those that come from wealth. but there are so many people in this country who come from modest backgrounds to wealth and success. I don’t think it is healthy to feel entitled to wealth just because there are others who have more.

I grew up lower middle class with many experiences of poverty thrown in (utilities turned off, didn't always have money for groceries so ate a lot of starch). I grew up knowing life was unfair and that everyone had more than my family. But I somehow believed I could boot strap my way out of it by working hard in school and working side jobs when I was old enough and throughout college. I was never jealous of the kids with BMWs because I knew I could earn that too, eventually. What I didn't realize until I was well into adulthood was that people who started out several rungs higher up on the ladder would keep going,, thus staying higher up on the ladder. I wasn't going to "catch up" because I had more rungs to climb. I'm in my 40s and from time to time still discover ways of thinking that I have which are just so different from people who grew up with a lot more. One example, I never learned how to ask for help, I believe I was supposed to just work harder, and harder, and harder. Hard work is definitely important, but in retrospect the kids in law school who did the best were the ones who spent a lot of times in professors offices, not the ones poring over the cases and their notes in the library (where I was).

I am an immigrant and we came here with $100 in our pockets. We were in ETCH-ONE-BEE visa hell for 8 years making 30K a year in our 20s and 30s and our net savings was around $2000 because we were living on the edge of poverty. The moment our green card came our salary doubled. We had postponed everything in our life - kids, house, education because we were just subsisting. Anyhow, by mid -30s, we were so used to living in poverty that we could save whatever increase in salary we got and used that for down-payment to a house in a not high cost part of MoCo. Best decision. We had kids late, but we were saving like fiends for everything. We were so used to living on very little that could really stretch our dollars without dumpster diving or being miserly. Ask us about any service you can think of - from cooking from scratch to painting our walls to stitching clothes to knitting booties and blankets to making greeting cards to doing yardwork to tutoring - we can do it all. Now we are in our 50s. College, home. cars, retirement - we are set. Our kids have every comfort at home that they can think of and lots of financial security. We are able to afford anything that we want - vacations, cleaning service, books, electronics, eating out, nice clothes, tutors etc. My kids are still extremely frugal and careful with money. I am glad that they have this mindset. In the end, we have been able to raise a very closeknit, moral and loving family. I have been able to become a SAHM, help my kids in their education and we all feel good that we have some means to help our kids. If my kids never need our money, it is even better. My biggest happiness is that my kids have not grown up to be entitled, privileged kids. They are hard working and loving people. That we can pay for their college, a new car, a modest wedding is the extent of what we can give them. If they want to live with us for saving on rent. even better. We will not be giving them money to buy a house. We don't have that kind of money. BUT - hopefully their upbringing and the help that we can give them is enough of a helping hand. I think that if we give more than that what will they achieve on their own? What will they teach their own children?

Immigrants who say this often come to the US with no debt, strong social ties with other immigrants, and a highly sought after professional background- in other words, a couple of steps ahead of many of their American peers even though they may lack funds.

Wow! Is immigrant privilege now a thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a wealthy area in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. There will Always be people with more money than you, especially if you choose to live in an area that attracts wealthy people.

I’m middle class and grew up lower middle class and I just do not relate to OP at all. If you want to be wealthy, then go into a profession that generates high income or start a business (if you can tolerate risk). Not everyone will make I t, but not everyone gets to be wealthy just because they want to be. A few weeks ago there was a thread started by an Eastern European immigrant who lost everything to move here with the goal to become wealthy and is now successful. Surely OP had more advantages than her, no?

Also I don’t understand how people like OP are just now in adulthood realizing that life isn’t fair. [b]I guess it is a helpful lesson learned much earlier in life by those of us who grew up relatively poor. At one point in college I remember feeling a bit jealous of all of the kids cruising around in Mercedes and BMW 7 series while I struggled to afford my busted Honda civic. I realized that It is not their fault that they have these things-if my parents were in the position to gift me a nice car, I wouldn’t say no. Resentment and entitlement are really toxic.

I don’t disagree with OP that life is much easier for those that come from wealth. but there are so many people in this country who come from modest backgrounds to wealth and success. I don’t think it is healthy to feel entitled to wealth just because there are others who have more.

I grew up lower middle class with many experiences of poverty thrown in (utilities turned off, didn't always have money for groceries so ate a lot of starch). I grew up knowing life was unfair and that everyone had more than my family. But I somehow believed I could boot strap my way out of it by working hard in school and working side jobs when I was old enough and throughout college. I was never jealous of the kids with BMWs because I knew I could earn that too, eventually. What I didn't realize until I was well into adulthood was that people who started out several rungs higher up on the ladder would keep going,, thus staying higher up on the ladder. I wasn't going to "catch up" because I had more rungs to climb. I'm in my 40s and from time to time still discover ways of thinking that I have which are just so different from people who grew up with a lot more. One example, I never learned how to ask for help, I believe I was supposed to just work harder, and harder, and harder. Hard work is definitely important, but in retrospect the kids in law school who did the best were the ones who spent a lot of times in professors offices, not the ones poring over the cases and their notes in the library (where I was).

I am an immigrant and we came here with $100 in our pockets. We were in ETCH-ONE-BEE visa hell for 8 years making 30K a year in our 20s and 30s and our net savings was around $2000 because we were living on the edge of poverty. The moment our green card came our salary doubled. We had postponed everything in our life - kids, house, education because we were just subsisting. Anyhow, by mid -30s, we were so used to living in poverty that we could save whatever increase in salary we got and used that for down-payment to a house in a not high cost part of MoCo. Best decision. We had kids late, but we were saving like fiends for everything. We were so used to living on very little that could really stretch our dollars without dumpster diving or being miserly. Ask us about any service you can think of - from cooking from scratch to painting our walls to stitching clothes to knitting booties and blankets to making greeting cards to doing yardwork to tutoring - we can do it all. Now we are in our 50s. College, home. cars, retirement - we are set. Our kids have every comfort at home that they can think of and lots of financial security. We are able to afford anything that we want - vacations, cleaning service, books, electronics, eating out, nice clothes, tutors etc. My kids are still extremely frugal and careful with money. I am glad that they have this mindset. In the end, we have been able to raise a very closeknit, moral and loving family. I have been able to become a SAHM, help my kids in their education and we all feel good that we have some means to help our kids. If my kids never need our money, it is even better. My biggest happiness is that my kids have not grown up to be entitled, privileged kids. They are hard working and loving people. That we can pay for their college, a new car, a modest wedding is the extent of what we can give them. If they want to live with us for saving on rent. even better. We will not be giving them money to buy a house. We don't have that kind of money. BUT - hopefully their upbringing and the help that we can give them is enough of a helping hand. I think that if we give more than that what will they achieve on their own? What will they teach their own children?

Immigrants who say this often come to the US with no debt, strong social ties with other immigrants, and a highly sought after professional background- in other words, a couple of steps ahead of many of their American peers even though they may lack funds.

Wow! Is immigrant privilege now a thing?

Do you have any argument against the premise of the statement or you just want to be sarcastic?

My mother came to the US as a physician. Unlike American doctors she had no loans, and after a few years of residency was making a ton of money. People at her church were always available with advice and support. If that isn’t a pretty privileged background I don’t know what is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop saving for college. Start getting your kids used to the idea that they won't go to a typical 4 year university. They may need to find other ways to fund college. It's ok, really.

?? Sorry for your kids. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop saving for college. Start getting your kids used to the idea that they won't go to a typical 4 year university. They may need to find other ways to fund college. It's ok, really.

+1. Kids without academic talent don't need to go to college and probably won't be happy there.

Well ok, agree with that. But take DECA in school and still be a go-gettter in something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a tough area. I don't think I fully appreciated how the money and the competitiveness saturates you and your lifestyle until you left. We live in a rural area now and WOW do I feel like we have it good, whereas before I always felt like the poorest person in the room.

Same.

Same here too

We are pretty high income and we made the same move. I felt average making, at the time, $500k HHI and couldn’t afford a nice house in a good school district. We moved out to the boonies and are much happier living around normal people.

You cannot afford a house at $500K. Seriously? And, you think $500K is normal?