Resentful of rich kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop saving for college. Start getting your kids used to the idea that they won't go to a typical 4 year university. They may need to find other ways to fund college. It's ok, really.

+1. Kids without academic talent don't need to go to college and probably won't be happy there.

These two are perfect examples of why people like OP who resent their parents exist

[Anonymous]

1. Just because I got trusts, doesn't mean my life is great. Yes, the money helps a lot - it can fix a lot of problems and make life smoother/easier. But it doesn't give me perfect health (six surgeries and more expected) and doesn't give me good relationships with family members. My mother was not invited to my wedding and has not met my children. The children do not remember my father because he has not seen them since they were babies.

2. If you were offered the money I was given, you would take it in a heartbeat. You wouldn't turn it down so that others wouldn't be jealous of you.

3. I would never say this in person, but I'm grossed out by people who brag, especially about money.

4. I wish all my friends had the financial advantages I have. If I could waive a wand and take away all your college debt I would. I can't though, so DH and I give full ride scholarships each year at each of our colleges to kids who can't afford to pay but don't get much financial aid - kind of lower middle class to barely middle road of middle class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am resentful of all the rich people who get down payments and college savings handed to them. Meanwhile here we are working like little bees getting nowhere.

Honestly, I feel the same way and have to check myself. My bias is that most folks living in DC proper likely had down payments, tuition, and everything else handed to them and are sitting on trust funds/inheritance. I immediately dislike these folks and assume that they're worthless lazies and hyper pretentious. Yes, that's my bias and I try not to hire or interact with these folks. Am I right all the time? No. Am I right a good chunk of the time? Yes. Does it change anything? Not really. All you can do is keep working, OP. Raise your kids to be hard workers and hopefully keep them from being the handout, trust fund kids that we see so much of in this area. Honestly, you're likely more pleasant to be around anyway

you seriously think that? We are wealthy in many respects - 700K HHI, $2M home, paying for kids colleges in full, and live in DC "proper". Spouse and I had loving, stable homes as children. My spouse got zero help from parents and was actually homeless for a while in college. My parents helped some, but college was mostly loans and scholarships. We are wealthy now, but no way did we get "everything handed" to us. And my bet is that you are WRONG a good chunk of the time. You seem incredibly judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Its just frustrating because EVERYONE here is super rich. They all have parents who are executives, lawyers or successful business owners. DH and I have masters degrees but our parents were not as well-to-do so even with all our education and hard work, we can't quite compete with all the rich NOVA kids who were raised here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its just frustrating because EVERYONE here is super rich. They all have parents who are executives, lawyers or successful business owners. DH and I have masters degrees but our parents were not as well-to-do so even with all our education and hard work, we can't quite compete with all the rich NOVA kids who were raised here.

Nope.

[Anonymous]

I feel this too, OP. Among our friends and neighbors it seems like I’m the only one who didn’t get college paid for, wedding paid for, and a down payment for my first house... These people also get regular free babysitting and private school tuition picked up by grandparents. Oh and annual family vacations to places like Sea Island are paid for in full too.

It’s a different world compared to my family and how I was raised. It’s isolating and frustrating. But I’ve also noticed that, with all that support, there are a lot of strings attached...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am resentful of all the rich people who get down payments and college savings handed to them. Meanwhile here we are working like little bees getting nowhere.

Honestly, I feel the same way and have to check myself. My bias is that most folks living in DC proper likely had down payments, tuition, and everything else handed to them and are sitting on trust funds/inheritance. I immediately dislike these folks and assume that they're worthless lazies and hyper pretentious. Yes, that's my bias and I try not to hire or interact with these folks. Am I right all the time? No. Am I right a good chunk of the time? Yes. Does it change anything? Not really. All you can do is keep working, OP. Raise your kids to be hard workers and hopefully keep them from being the handout, trust fund kids that we see so much of in this area. Honestly, you're likely more pleasant to be around anyway

you seriously think that? We are wealthy in many respects - 700K HHI, $2M home, paying for kids colleges in full, and live in DC "proper". Spouse and I had loving, stable homes as children. My spouse got zero help from parents and was actually homeless for a while in college. My parents helped some, but college was mostly loans and scholarships. We are wealthy now, but no way did we get "everything handed" to us. And my bet is that you are WRONG a good chunk of the time. You seem incredibly judgmental.

If you are 100% self made and living in a $2M house with a $700k income, it took you a while to get there. You’re likely 50+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel this too, OP. Among our friends and neighbors it seems like I’m the only one who didn’t get college paid for, wedding paid for, and a down payment for my first house... These people also get regular free babysitting and private school tuition picked up by grandparents. Oh and annual family vacations to places like Sea Island are paid for in full too.

It’s a different world compared to my family and how I was raised. It’s isolating and frustrating. But I’ve also noticed that, with all that support, there are a lot of strings attached...

Op here, It is very frustrating and I cannot help but feel envious. Everyone I meet seems to have some secret stash of money. Its obvious in scenarios such as:

- 28 year old middle manager couple who's parents bought them a million dollar house
- Middle class friend got engaged to a rich guy whose parents are footing the bill for their large and glamorous wedding
- Private school tuition for kids paid for by rich grandparents
- Grandparents provide funds to furnish new apartments and homes
- Random 10k-20k provided for fabulous honeymoons and trips

It never ends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel this too, OP. Among our friends and neighbors it seems like I’m the only one who didn’t get college paid for, wedding paid for, and a down payment for my first house... These people also get regular free babysitting and private school tuition picked up by grandparents. Oh and annual family vacations to places like Sea Island are paid for in full too.

It’s a different world compared to my family and how I was raised. It’s isolating and frustrating. But I’ve also noticed that, with all that support, there are a lot of strings attached...

Yup...nothing like being self made. No strings attached. I always sort of sorry for kids from wealthy backgrounds.
Most lacked the desire and killer instinct to make it on their own. They seemed timid, waiting like a beggar for a “handout” or “bailout”
from mommy, daddy, or the kind hearted grandparent. Seemed kind of pitiful to me.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a close relative of mine.

Get therapy. You have a resentment problem, not an inequality problem. Envy is soul-destroying.

[Anonymous]

Don't judge, lest ye be judged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am resentful of all the rich people who get down payments and college savings handed to them. Meanwhile here we are working like little bees getting nowhere.

Honestly, I feel the same way and have to check myself. My bias is that most folks living in DC proper likely had down payments, tuition, and everything else handed to them and are sitting on trust funds/inheritance. I immediately dislike these folks and assume that they're worthless lazies and hyper pretentious. Yes, that's my bias and I try not to hire or interact with these folks. Am I right all the time? No. Am I right a good chunk of the time? Yes. Does it change anything? Not really. All you can do is keep working, OP. Raise your kids to be hard workers and hopefully keep them from being the handout, trust fund kids that we see so much of in this area. Honestly, you're likely more pleasant to be around anyway

you seriously think that? We are wealthy in many respects - 700K HHI, $2M home, paying for kids colleges in full, and live in DC "proper". Spouse and I had loving, stable homes as children. My spouse got zero help from parents and was actually homeless for a while in college. My parents helped some, but college was mostly loans and scholarships. We are wealthy now, but no way did we get "everything handed" to us. And my bet is that you are WRONG a good chunk of the time. You seem incredibly judgmental.

If you are 100% self made and living in a $2M house with a $700k income, it took you a while to get there. You’re likely 50+.

Point?

[Anonymous]

Its just frustrating because EVERYONE here is super rich. They all have parents who are executives, lawyers or successful business owners. DH and I have masters degrees but our parents were not as well-to-do so even with all our education and hard work, we can't quite compete with all the rich NOVA kids who were raised here.

So stop trying to compete. You will be much happier. Comparison is the thief of joy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am resentful of all the rich people who get down payments and college savings handed to them. Meanwhile here we are working like little bees getting nowhere.

Honestly, I feel the same way and have to check myself. My bias is that most folks living in DC proper likely had down payments, tuition, and everything else handed to them and are sitting on trust funds/inheritance. I immediately dislike these folks and assume that they're worthless lazies and hyper pretentious. Yes, that's my bias and I try not to hire or interact with these folks. Am I right all the time? No. Am I right a good chunk of the time? Yes. Does it change anything? Not really. All you can do is keep working, OP. Raise your kids to be hard workers and hopefully keep them from being the handout, trust fund kids that we see so much of in this area. Honestly, you're likely more pleasant to be around anyway

you seriously think that? We are wealthy in many respects - 700K HHI, $2M home, paying for kids colleges in full, and live in DC "proper". Spouse and I had loving, stable homes as children. My spouse got zero help from parents and was actually homeless for a while in college. My parents helped some, but college was mostly loans and scholarships. We are wealthy now, but no way did we get "everything handed" to us. And my bet is that you are WRONG a good chunk of the time. You seem incredibly judgmental.

I'm the PP. This post is exactly what I'm talking about. Wealthy in many respects? How about flat out loaded? 700K HHI and $2M home? YOu're on a different planet and completely unaware of it. And my guess is that your parents helped far more than you are letting on or even more than you are willing to acknowledge. But yes, you are exactly who I try to avoid because you are untethered from reality

[Anonymous]

DC is a wealthy area in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. There will Always be people with more money than you, especially if you choose to live in an area that attracts wealthy people.

I’m middle class and grew up lower middle class and I just do not relate to OP at all. If you want to be wealthy, then go into a profession that generates high income or start a business (if you can tolerate risk). Not everyone will make I t, but not everyone gets to be wealthy just because they want to be. A few weeks ago there was a thread started by an Eastern European immigrant who lost everything to move here with the goal to become wealthy and is now successful. Surely OP had more advantages than her, no?

Also I don’t understand how people like OP are just now in adulthood realizing that life isn’t fair. I guess it is a helpful lesson learned much earlier in life by those of us who grew up relatively poor. At one point in college I remember feeling a bit jealous of all of the kids cruising around in Mercedes and BMW 7 series while I struggled to afford my busted Honda civic. I realized that It is not their fault that they have these things-if my parents were in the position to gift me a nice car, I wouldn’t say no. Resentment and entitlement are really toxic.

I don’t disagree with OP that life is much easier for those that come from wealth. but there are so many people in this country who come from modest backgrounds to wealth and success. I don’t think it is healthy to feel entitled to wealth just because there are others who have more.