God, I hate my husband

[Anonymous]

I am in the phase of hating my DH as well. We started out best friends, respected each other's needs, interests, likes etc. SLowly he has changed over the years, and I guess i have too. While he has become more introverted and never wants to leave the house without me. I feel suffocated and withdrawn. We talk and talk. He is hurt i don't want to be with him 24/7. I work outside the home and he works from home. He quit his sporting leagues due to injuries/Covid and has no plans to go back. We spend a ton of time together but I can't say i enjoy it anymore. I feels like a chore. Even small things cause a fight. I come home tired and he asks me to go for a walk adn I don't want to. Then it turns into a 20 minute battle of why i don't want to go on a walk. I'm tired isn't good enough for him. Yes, i go on walks with him. Sometimes I just don't want to.
I feel like i am dying a death by a million papercuts at this point. The guy who used to go running or to the pool to swim laps is dead and I am married to a guy who thinks walking 4 blocks with me by his side every minute is a good replacement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ well, ok. How about the @ssholes that cheat when getting sex at home? Plenty of those.

No, there are not "plenty" of those. really. For every married cheating guy who gets sex at home, there are 25 sexless marriages where the guy is (of course!) cheating.
You are not only wrong but completely off topic, see thread title.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That so many of you decided to marry men you clearly have come to hate and have no regard for says much about you and your poor decisions in life. That some of you stay married to these men makes me question your level of intelligence. Do you have self-respect or dignity? It comes off as pathetic.
If I felt this way about dh I would definitely divorce.

You can never predict the future behavior of any human being! People change, personalities change, brains change. Don’t judge.

So again, why stay? That someone does stay is an easy tell of what little reserve of self-worth they have.

Not sure if you're married, or for how long, or if you have kids. But things are often a lot more complicated than "just leave!"

This isn't a boyfriend of three months, in my case it's a marriage of 18 years, two kids, one a young teen and reluctance to unroot her at this stage of her life, a house on a complicated piece of rural property that we can't just easily throw a For Sale sign out front, financial entanglements, etc.

And as the PP said people can and do change. What was once a carefree, fun guy has grown angry and anxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in the phase of hating my DH as well. We started out best friends, respected each other's needs, interests, likes etc. SLowly he has changed over the years, and I guess i have too. While he has become more introverted and never wants to leave the house without me. I feel suffocated and withdrawn. We talk and talk. He is hurt i don't want to be with him 24/7. I work outside the home and he works from home. He quit his sporting leagues due to injuries/Covid and has no plans to go back. We spend a ton of time together but I can't say i enjoy it anymore. I feels like a chore. Even small things cause a fight. I come home tired and he asks me to go for a walk adn I don't want to. Then it turns into a 20 minute battle of why i don't want to go on a walk. I'm tired isn't good enough for him. Yes, i go on walks with him. Sometimes I just don't want to.
I feel like i am dying a death by a million papercuts at this point. The guy who used to go running or to the pool to swim laps is dead and I am married to a guy who thinks walking 4 blocks with me by his side every minute is a good replacement.

You’re a total and complete asshole. I hope you die alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the phase of hating my DH as well. We started out best friends, respected each other's needs, interests, likes etc. SLowly he has changed over the years, and I guess i have too. While he has become more introverted and never wants to leave the house without me. I feel suffocated and withdrawn. We talk and talk. He is hurt i don't want to be with him 24/7. I work outside the home and he works from home. He quit his sporting leagues due to injuries/Covid and has no plans to go back. We spend a ton of time together but I can't say i enjoy it anymore. I feels like a chore. Even small things cause a fight. I come home tired and he asks me to go for a walk adn I don't want to. Then it turns into a 20 minute battle of why i don't want to go on a walk. I'm tired isn't good enough for him. Yes, i go on walks with him. Sometimes I just don't want to.
I feel like i am dying a death by a million papercuts at this point. The guy who used to go running or to the pool to swim laps is dead and I am married to a guy who thinks walking 4 blocks with me by his side every minute is a good replacement.

You’re a total and complete asshole. I hope you die alone.

No, you aren't a total and complete asshole. My DH has also become a toddler in many aspects, complete with tantrums, and it's exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ well, ok. How about the @ssholes that cheat when getting sex at home? Plenty of those.

No, there are not "plenty" of those. really. For every married cheating guy who gets sex at home, there are 25 sexless marriages where the guy is (of course!) cheating.
You are not only wrong but completely off topic, see thread title.

There are plenty of cheaters who get it at home. Desperate cheaters just don't want to believe it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to alarm you divorced/single women, but these are the guys that are being dumped back into the pool of single eligible men. Dating from a cesspool of rejects and losers.

We know.
This is why I don't date anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That so many of you decided to marry men you clearly have come to hate and have no regard for says much about you and your poor decisions in life. That some of you stay married to these men makes me question your level of intelligence. Do you have self-respect or dignity? It comes off as pathetic.
If I felt this way about dh I would definitely divorce.

You can never predict the future behavior of any human being! People change, personalities change, brains change. Don’t judge.

So again, why stay? That someone does stay is an easy tell of what little reserve of self-worth they have.

Not sure if you're married, or for how long, or if you have kids. But things are often a lot more complicated than "just leave!"

This isn't a boyfriend of three months, in my case it's a marriage of 18 years, two kids, one a young teen and reluctance to unroot her at this stage of her life, a house on a complicated piece of rural property that we can't just easily throw a For Sale sign out front, financial entanglements, etc.

And as the PP said people can and do change. What was once a carefree, fun guy has grown angry and anxious.

I've been married for 20 years in a few months, and I have teens. I'd rather have a complicated split that living with a spouse who hates me. You women are cruel. My god one lady's husband wants to spend time with her. The horror.

Divorce already. Life is too short to carry around that hate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ well, ok. How about the @ssholes that cheat when getting sex at home? Plenty of those.

No, there are not "plenty" of those. really. For every married cheating guy who gets sex at home, there are 25 sexless marriages where the guy is (of course!) cheating.
You are not only wrong but completely off topic, see thread title.

There are plenty of cheaters who get it at home. Desperate cheaters just don't want to believe it.

There's never a reason to cheat. People with poor morals will always makes excuses for their bad behavior. If one is cheating they are the sole problem, not their victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the phase of hating my DH as well. We started out best friends, respected each other's needs, interests, likes etc. SLowly he has changed over the years, and I guess i have too. While he has become more introverted and never wants to leave the house without me. I feel suffocated and withdrawn. We talk and talk. He is hurt i don't want to be with him 24/7. I work outside the home and he works from home. He quit his sporting leagues due to injuries/Covid and has no plans to go back. We spend a ton of time together but I can't say i enjoy it anymore. I feels like a chore. Even small things cause a fight. I come home tired and he asks me to go for a walk adn I don't want to. Then it turns into a 20 minute battle of why i don't want to go on a walk. I'm tired isn't good enough for him. Yes, i go on walks with him. Sometimes I just don't want to.
I feel like i am dying a death by a million papercuts at this point. The guy who used to go running or to the pool to swim laps is dead and I am married to a guy who thinks walking 4 blocks with me by his side every minute is a good replacement.

You’re a total and complete asshole. I hope you die alone.

Nothing she said warrants this level of vitriol. I don't understand people who comment here. I guess it's good that you take your insane reactions out online instead of going on a shooting spree because someone took the parking space you wanted.

[Anonymous]

She said that she was tired after working and didn't feel like taking a walk. Understandable because I'm tired after work too. Exhausted some days. Husband has been home all day so wants to get out, also understandable but leave her alone already.

It sounds like H is making her his sole connection to the outside world and that is a heavy burden to bear. I think she just wants a few minutes of peace and alone time and her formerly active husband is now overly reliant on her every waking moment.

[Anonymous]

Me too.

Mine is an abusive bully to me and the kids. My oldest is exhibiting symptoms of anxiety now. God forbid I address the way he behaves towards her and experience his wrath. We're all on eggshells, just how he likes it.

I'm not saying he's a narcissist but when I google the things he says and does, pathological narcissism is what comes up. Every time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me too.

Mine is an abusive bully to me and the kids. My oldest is exhibiting symptoms of anxiety now. God forbid I address the way he behaves towards her and experience his wrath. We're all on eggshells, just how he likes it.

I'm not saying he's a narcissist but when I google the things he says and does, pathological narcissism is what comes up. Every time.

Why are you living like this? He is damaging your kids. Get out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So just leave already!

Meanwhile women who stay in a sexless marriage means you accept he’s getting it elsewhere.

I honestly couldn't care less where he gets it. After years of being his verbal and emotional punching bag, I can't stomach the thought of being intimate with him. He can have all the APs. It's truly whatever.

[Anonymous]

I suspect that most of the above is one of the many tolls of the pandemic.