How to convince teen to stay home alone over the summer

[Anonymous]

If you have the money to spend, the companionship offered by the college aged student toward the high schooler may be cheaper than therapy.

[Anonymous]

Give her some responsibility and tell her to make the best of it. 15 is definitely old enough to stay home alone and watch siblings, especially since the siblings aren't much younger. I was alone at 15 while my mom went to college and my brother and sister were around the same age. Easy. We certainly weren't stupid and we knew how to take care of ourselves without an adult present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the responders seem to be missing that the kids are signed up for various camps and even sleepaway camps. So, it’s not exactly clear what the summer looks like. Is this about every day just from 3-5, or full time for one week because kids have camps the rest of the time...?

Agree kids should not be alone together with no nanny who can drive and no agenda all summer, but OP’s schedule isn’t clear. Maybe you increase the camps you sign up for instead of hiring the nanny?

I caught that, but it's not clear how often the camps are. Or, frankly, how the kids are getting to these camps.

I don't blame the 15-year-old for not wanting to be a regular babysitter. I hated babysitting my younger brother. He didn't listen to me, so my choices were to be a tattletale or get in big fights every day. He didn't see me as an authority figure, so unless I told on him so he'd get in trouble with our parents, it was just constant clashes all day when he wouldn't do his chores, or clean up his room, or stop doing whatever he was supposed to stop doing. Doing that on a daily basis over the summer would be a giant PITA. If you're not paying her, then I don't think it's fair, especially if it limits what she can do in her free time.

[Anonymous]

What if you paid her $100 a week, so not a real wage, but good money for a 15 year old.

[Anonymous]

How are the kids getting back and forth to camps all summer? Are they involved in any sports or activities? We didn’t have a nanny when they were little but I feel like I need the help now more than ever. Mine are 10 and 13 and all of the driving plus working full time is exhausting. The house is always a mess. Personally, I’d keep the nanny for driving help if she was also willing to help with meal prep and light cleaning. In my dream world laundry too. So maybe it would be more of a driver, housekeeper with a little adult supervision for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your 15-year-old will be stuck at home with her younger siblings all summer? Are you planning to pay her to babysit? Can she leave them alone in the house? Can they go anywhere fun without a car? She's likely not upset about being "alone," she's worried about being the babysitter and being stuck at home without being able to do anything fun.

+1
The 15 year olds in our neighborhood come and go as they please and take on odd jobs. If she has to baby sit her sibs she's stuck on their schedule basically. I grew up doing this for my siblings and it was fine and it taught me a lot of responsibility but if you can afford to give her the summer off which it sounds like you an I would do it. Because covid. The year has already been stressful enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give her some responsibility and tell her to make the best of it. 15 is definitely old enough to stay home alone and watch siblings, especially since the siblings aren't much younger. I was alone at 15 while my mom went to college and my brother and sister were around the same age. Easy. We certainly weren't stupid and we knew how to take care of ourselves without an adult present.

Exactly. Talk about Rich People Problems.

[Anonymous]

Everybooody Haaaates Chriiiiiisss!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can’t ask your 15 year old to be an unpaid nanny without her resenting it. Consider getting nanny part time snd paying the 15 year old (at a much lower rate) the other days.

This
She didn’t have those other kids, you did.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Yes Op, you do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 girls 10, 12 and 14. My oldest will be 15 before the school year is up. We have been using the same girl(who is now college aged) for 4 years as a summer nanny and she is great but I just can’t justify paying her to sit with my teens 7 hours a day. We already enroll them in several camps and even a few sleep away camps. The problem is my oldest is adamant that she wants the nanny there, and she doesn’t like the idea of being “alone.” Do I bring the nanny back for one more year? And have her do what exactly? When we hired her she made the kids food, took them on bike rides, broke up fights, came up with games for rainy days, helped them with chores and took them all kinds of fun places. Other than driving, we just don’t need her anymore.

So who would be doing all these things your nanny did for the 10 and 12 year old girls then?

Growing up I hated being the oldest and being expected to be a "mom" and care for my siblings. I was so resentful and developed a terrible relationship with my younger sister. I was 15, she was 12 and went on until I left home. I wanted to be a regular teen so bad not a "mom". Money didn't make a difference...

Unless your oldest is NOT expected to cook food her siblings, take them on bike rides, break up fights, come up with games, help them with chores and take them out to play, then yes, leave them alone. Otherwise, you need someone to be there.

[Anonymous]

Of course you need the nanny. Your oldest isn't a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to think about your expectations and talk to your daughters together . If they will all be independent, or if the 15 year old is essentially being the babysitter.

It’s also possible the 15 year old has really good memories of the nanny. Maybe she just helped the kids get along and encouraged them to do fun things.

[Anonymous]

She wants to have someone around closer to her age. At 15, she feels closer to the college kids age, not the younger children.

[Anonymous]

#firstworldproblems

Save the money and tell her she needs to stay with them most of the time when they aren’t in camp.
A 10 and 12 year can be home alone for an few hours a couple of times a week.