How to convince teen to stay home alone over the summer

[Anonymous]

Home with a 10 and 12 is not “home alone”.

[Anonymous]

Does she get along her siblings? Do they listen to her?

[Anonymous]

Omg what a nightmare! So arethe10 and 12 year old responsible for themselves. Like 14 to can leave the house at any time?

[Anonymous]

While I do think some kids need to be pushed to stay home alone and others naturally come into this stage, that does not sound like what is actually going on here. I agree with the PPs that it sounds like you want a free babysitter and your 15 year old isn't interested.

[Anonymous]

I’d pay her an allowance. I don’t buy into this “it’s wrong for older kid to watch the younger ones” nonsense. That’s basic human life for pretty much the entire existence of the species.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it’s not the older ones responsibility to babysit.

Yes, no one should ever have to do anything they don't want to do. It is not like we owe each other anything, as humans.

[Anonymous]

I think the oldest thinks she won't be able to do anything she may enjoy this summer. I think a PT job for the teen this summer would help boost her confidence and maybe next summer she asks to babysit- for some pay, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have thought a 10 and 12 year old would be pretty self sufficient. Not much “nannying” needed! And a 15 year old not feeling competent to be alone is deeply weird.

This is what happens when we infantilize children.

This. I was babysitting infants when I was 12 years old, and I loved being ‘alone’ without adults around. I can’t imagine balking at keeping an eye out for much older kids who aren’t really going to need anything from their 15 year old sibling. Unless they’re so infantilized they can’t do anything without hand holding.

[Anonymous]

I would also add that my experiences babysitting as a preteen and teenager made me very careful about avoiding unwanted pregnancy. I’ve heard the same from friends who were required to babysit siblings. It’s good birth control!

Also don’t get the whole mentality that teens shouldn’t be required to engage in unpaid labor in the family home. How extraordinary! Definitely a mindset of privileged people and probably accounts for the way so many privileged kids struggle with the many frustrations and demands of real life and gainful employment.

[Anonymous]

10 and 12 year olds can pretty much take care of themselves. Not sure why 15 year old needs to be like a babysitter. Just make some rules and they should follow them. Nobody needs a nanny at those ages.

[Anonymous]

Count me as another who doesnt get this (unless one or both parents WFH). Because is the 15 yr old tethered to the house watching her sibs all day until you get home? This is a full time babysitting job you are expecting of her and with likely long hours to boot.

[Anonymous]

So your 15-year-old will be stuck at home with her younger siblings all summer? Are you planning to pay her to babysit? Can she leave them alone in the house? Can they go anywhere fun without a car? She's likely not upset about being "alone," she's worried about being the babysitter and being stuck at home without being able to do anything fun.

[Anonymous]

What a miserable summer. Yes, get the nanny again for the summer.

[Anonymous]

Maybe make it clear she wouldn’t have all those many duties-her younger siblings can make their own pbj for lunch and rainy day games, etc. if it’s just that you want her to be there to call 911 if one of them falls out of a tree that’s much more reasonable than expecting a 15 year old to be Mary poppies for her own siblings (who won’t behave as well for her as they did for the nanny.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 girls 10, 12 and 14. My oldest will be 15 before the school year is up. We have been using the same girl(who is now college aged) for 4 years as a summer nanny and she is great but I just can’t justify paying her to sit with my teens 7 hours a day. We already enroll them in several camps and even a few sleep away camps. The problem is my oldest is adamant that she wants the nanny there, and she doesn’t like the idea of being “alone.” Do I bring the nanny back for one more year? And have her do what exactly? When we hired her she made the kids food, took them on bike rides, broke up fights, came up with games for rainy days, helped them with chores and took them all kinds of fun places. Other than driving, we just don’t need her anymore.

But this is really huge. There's only so much fun you can have staying at the house all the time.

Add me to the voices saying to hire the nanny another summer. That's a huge load to put on your oldest on top of what has already been a difficult and trying covid year.