Why does my partner pay $2400 a month child support for one kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2400/month is literally less than 20% of his income. You sound heartless.

Remember Dad pays taxes on his income, and probably provides the health care and more. Mom gets all that money tax free. $2400 is more than most people spend on their kids. Is more than some people earn in a month. Its a lot of money. We spend a lot on our child and don't even come close to that if you average it out over a year (except maybe if you include college savings).

-.+100 the file support we paid for one was much more than the amount we paid for two in our house ( including health insurance, share of utilities and food etc, not just direct kid costs). All while the ex lies about where money and activities came from and never went back to work. I could go on with more... 🙄

We had all kinds of drama. Ex demanded we pay for her health insurance even though kid had always been on Dad's since birth but she didn't want to use it. Dad was ordered to provide insurance. She ended up dropping her insurance and putting him on medicaid as we got a call from medicaid demanding we reimburse them (which we refused as we had insurance for him and they should have done their homework). She'd demand he pay extra for activities and then the kids wouldn't participate. We finally caught on and said tell us where to send the money (company or school) and we'll send it directly and tell us where we buy the uniform/shoes or what ever was needed and sizes and we'll ship it directly to the house. But, hey, no one here wants to hear the other side. And, the braces... we agreed to pay 1/2 per the court order after insurance directly to the orthotist and she refused to use the child support money to pay her half so kid never got them till an adult. They should make people who get child support file yearly like they do with guardianship or social security rep. payee to prove the money is spend on the individual receiving it.

As a parent, the food costs are nominal for an extra kid. Our housing and utility costs are the same. Our big expenses are private lessons and sports and camps (but all of those are optional and I could pick much cheaper ways of doing it). Even so, its not $2000+ a month even with a sleep away camp for a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this normal in DC??

For 40 hours week this is a bit over $13/hr! This is dirt cheap.

??? That makes no sense. It isn't a payment. Its a stipend to cover the NCP's portion of care. The CP is also supposed to cover their share. So, if they have equal income it would be close to $5K a month that should be spent/saved for that child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you piling on OP, back off. I would worry that if the guy loses his job and they're married, would OP be obliged by the court to cover CS for him?

It is possible depending on the state. He'd have to file for a modification and hope a judge agrees to a modification or he'd either owe it or she'd have to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My nephew pays $800 a month for one kid with no court involvement, he's paid it for 13 years, totally voluntary. If he did go through the courts it would likely be about half that based on his income and Va laws.

He does it because he wants to.

Ok it costs a ton to raise a kid. $800 isn’t much at all. In the summer camps are $400 a month

Camps are 400 a week in the DC area.

Some camps are $400 a week, however most counties have much cheaper camps and not all kids need camps. If Dad has the kid for summers, then, Dad has to pay that on top of support. It doesn't cost a ton. Its the choices you make for your child. And even so at $400 a week, that would be $1600 a month, so at $2400 a month, that still leaves $600 PLUS the amount mom is supposed to contribute.

[Anonymous]

If I could pay someone else to manage all my kid's expenses on only $2400 I'd be coming out way ahead. Infant daycare was $2400 alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2400/month is literally less than 20% of his income. You sound heartless.

Remember Dad pays taxes on his income, and probably provides the health care and more. Mom gets all that money tax free. $2400 is more than most people spend on their kids. Is more than some people earn in a month. Its a lot of money. We spend a lot on our child and don't even come close to that if you average it out over a year (except maybe if you include college savings).

-.+100 the file support we paid for one was much more than the amount we paid for two in our house ( including health insurance, share of utilities and food etc, not just direct kid costs). All while the ex lies about where money and activities came from and never went back to work. I could go on with more... 🙄

We had all kinds of drama. Ex demanded we pay for her health insurance even though kid had always been on Dad's since birth but she didn't want to use it. Dad was ordered to provide insurance. She ended up dropping her insurance and putting him on medicaid as we got a call from medicaid demanding we reimburse them (which we refused as we had insurance for him and they should have done their homework). She'd demand he pay extra for activities and then the kids wouldn't participate. We finally caught on and said tell us where to send the money (company or school) and we'll send it directly and tell us where we buy the uniform/shoes or what ever was needed and sizes and we'll ship it directly to the house. But, hey, no one here wants to hear the other side. And, the braces... we agreed to pay 1/2 per the court order after insurance directly to the orthotist and she refused to use the child support money to pay her half so kid never got them till an adult. They should make people who get child support file yearly like they do with guardianship or social security rep. payee to prove the money is spend on the individual receiving it.

As a parent, the food costs are nominal for an extra kid. Our housing and utility costs are the same. Our big expenses are private lessons and sports and camps (but all of those are optional and I could pick much cheaper ways of doing it). Even so, its not $2000+ a month even with a sleep away camp for a week.

Us too. The child support basically paid for the ex. Which we then paid AGAIN to DC (eg, money meant for college savings was again paid out of pocket by us when college came.) Meanwhile, the ex lied to DC constantly and did her best to ruin visitation. We should have caught on sooner like you did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I could pay someone else to manage all my kid's expenses on only $2400 I'd be coming out way ahead. Infant daycare was $2400 alone.

I don’t think we’re talking about infant day care in most of these posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2400/month is literally less than 20% of his income. You sound heartless.

Remember Dad pays taxes on his income, and probably provides the health care and more. Mom gets all that money tax free. $2400 is more than most people spend on their kids. Is more than some people earn in a month. Its a lot of money. We spend a lot on our child and don't even come close to that if you average it out over a year (except maybe if you include college savings).

-.+100 the file support we paid for one was much more than the amount we paid for two in our house ( including health insurance, share of utilities and food etc, not just direct kid costs). All while the ex lies about where money and activities came from and never went back to work. I could go on with more... 🙄

We had all kinds of drama. Ex demanded we pay for her health insurance even though kid had always been on Dad's since birth but she didn't want to use it. Dad was ordered to provide insurance. She ended up dropping her insurance and putting him on medicaid as we got a call from medicaid demanding we reimburse them (which we refused as we had insurance for him and they should have done their homework). She'd demand he pay extra for activities and then the kids wouldn't participate. We finally caught on and said tell us where to send the money (company or school) and we'll send it directly and tell us where we buy the uniform/shoes or what ever was needed and sizes and we'll ship it directly to the house. But, hey, no one here wants to hear the other side. And, the braces... we agreed to pay 1/2 per the court order after insurance directly to the orthotist and she refused to use the child support money to pay her half so kid never got them till an adult. They should make people who get child support file yearly like they do with guardianship or social security rep. payee to prove the money is spend on the individual receiving it.

As a parent, the food costs are nominal for an extra kid. Our housing and utility costs are the same. Our big expenses are private lessons and sports and camps (but all of those are optional and I could pick much cheaper ways of doing it). Even so, its not $2000+ a month even with a sleep away camp for a week.

Us too. The child support basically paid for the ex. Which we then paid AGAIN to DC (eg, money meant for college savings was again paid out of pocket by us when college came.) Meanwhile, the ex lied to DC constantly and did her best to ruin visitation. We should have caught on sooner like you did.

What visitation? She would tell the kid we never bought the plane tickets, not put the kid on the plane and some how manage to cash out the tickets when we'd try to schedule the next visit and we'd get told there was no credit on the account. I figured it out easily as the kid told me during one of the last visits they were allowed to come on. I was told they weren't getting the clothing/presents I'd send every few months and was asked why we wouldn't pay for activities (which was supposed to be part of child support). I had said we'll pay 100% and all they had to do was send me the paperwork and tell me what they needed and I was happy to buy it if Mom wouldn't and Dad couldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I could pay someone else to manage all my kid's expenses on only $2400 I'd be coming out way ahead. Infant daycare was $2400 alone.

I don’t think we’re talking about infant day care in most of these posts.

Infant care max price is $2400 and that's usually only for two years and the price goes down. You need to find a more affordable home care or other provider if that is too much. You are also responsible for a portion of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2400/month is literally less than 20% of his income. You sound heartless.

Remember Dad pays taxes on his income, and probably provides the health care and more. Mom gets all that money tax free. $2400 is more than most people spend on their kids. Is more than some people earn in a month. Its a lot of money. We spend a lot on our child and don't even come close to that if you average it out over a year (except maybe if you include college savings).

-.+100 the file support we paid for one was much more than the amount we paid for two in our house ( including health insurance, share of utilities and food etc, not just direct kid costs). All while the ex lies about where money and activities came from and never went back to work. I could go on with more... 🙄

We had all kinds of drama. Ex demanded we pay for her health insurance even though kid had always been on Dad's since birth but she didn't want to use it. Dad was ordered to provide insurance. She ended up dropping her insurance and putting him on medicaid as we got a call from medicaid demanding we reimburse them (which we refused as we had insurance for him and they should have done their homework). She'd demand he pay extra for activities and then the kids wouldn't participate. We finally caught on and said tell us where to send the money (company or school) and we'll send it directly and tell us where we buy the uniform/shoes or what ever was needed and sizes and we'll ship it directly to the house. But, hey, no one here wants to hear the other side. And, the braces... we agreed to pay 1/2 per the court order after insurance directly to the orthotist and she refused to use the child support money to pay her half so kid never got them till an adult. They should make people who get child support file yearly like they do with guardianship or social security rep. payee to prove the money is spend on the individual receiving it.

As a parent, the food costs are nominal for an extra kid. Our housing and utility costs are the same. Our big expenses are private lessons and sports and camps (but all of those are optional and I could pick much cheaper ways of doing it). Even so, its not $2000+ a month even with a sleep away camp for a week.

Bologna.

[Anonymous]

OP it is none of your damn business. He has a responsibility to the child he brought into this world, not the person who's keeping his dick occupied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If only he were in VA. VA thinks that childcare and raising children in Roanoke and Arlington cost the same.

It’s ridiculous.

No its, not. It goes on time share and income. The custodial parent also has an obligation to financially support the child/ren as well. So, that's not full support, its only Dad's share.

This.

I find that so many people believe that child support is supposed to cover all of a child’s expenses and that’s not true. It’s just a portion. So many times women are disappointed and say they are not getting enough child support when in reality the cost of living and raising a child is higher than then realized and that they will actually need to increase their own income since now they are dependent on a single income.

That wasn't my point. My point was that the state of Virginia treats Arlington and Roanoke the same. If you think that's equitable, fine. VA has the lowest child support rate in the DMV.

Yes, its equitable. Mom can choose to move to a lower cost area if she cannot afford where she is living at. Most things in divorce, custody and child support aren't equitable.

Well, maybe not, but they are supposed to be; most states’ divorce laws are literally called “equitable distribution.” (NP by the way)

So, you choose to live in an expensive area and you expect your ex to contribute more because of your personal choices. That's not how child support works. And, child support is supposed to cover Dad's portion as determined by the state. Not what you want to maintain your lifestyle choices and you have an obligation to contribute as well.

I didn’t say anything about that at all.

You LITERALLY don't get a choice about where to live. If I moved out of the county he could fight my move. It's clear you know nothing about custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you piling on OP, back off. I would worry that if the guy loses his job and they're married, would OP be obliged by the court to cover CS for him?

Then don’t marry him. It’s that easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The crazy thing is that when he has more kids, each won’t get $2400. I make a similar amount and bring home 3k a paycheck (after maxing out retirement and my health insurance)

I know dh and I don’t spend that on our kids a month. We have the same house and cars we did prekids, so those costs would be the same regardless of kids.

Same with us. It costs us no more in housing or electricity as we'd have the house regardless.

Are you a single Mom? Without a child I could live in a 1 bedroom apartment. With a child we need two bedrooms. The cost goes up quite a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of you piling on OP, back off. I would worry that if the guy loses his job and they're married, would OP be obliged by the court to cover CS for him?

Then don’t marry him. It’s that easy.

This.

And if OP has baby fever she should fish in other ponds. Like unencumbered dad ponds.