Other moms - am I being too sensitive

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know the answer, OP. She's a jerk. As someone else said, kind people don't say things like that.

I've had it up to here with people like that. They have to put others down to feel good about themselves. Not only that, but if you call them on it, they gaslight you.

You can chalk it up to either massive insecurity or just plain meanness. Either way, this woman should be treated as a non-friend acquaintance you endure when you must but never trust.

+1

Even if it’s inadvertent, people who are thoughtful and care about others don’t “inadvertently” say things like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a group of mom friends in my neighborhood and our children play together. They're great, we're not best friends but it's nice to have people to talk to, as within my personal friends group, we are the only one with children.

One of my mom friends recently made a comment to me that she thinks it's "great I don't care what I look like and I don't put in too much effort." she followed up by she finds it "stressful getting up early to exercise everyday and get ready for the day."

I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive (probably) but it hurt my feelings. I had DS 5 years ago and DD about 1 year ago. I've struggled to lose the weight. I'm 5'4 pre pregnancy I was about 120, but now I am around 150. I have just been overwhelmed with work, navigating a pandemic with 2 children at home, and other stresses.

I don't particularly dress sloppy but I am not into designer clothes and wear little to no makeup. Mostly wear workout gear (even though I haven't worked out in a while lol, and just basics).

It hurt my feelings but I don't even know if I have a reason to be hurt?

Maybe you don't care how you look but other people have to look at you and they do care. No. You should not be hurt because you choose to look the way you look. Count on these people dropping you as you are an embarrassment to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a group of mom friends in my neighborhood and our children play together. They're great, we're not best friends but it's nice to have people to talk to, as within my personal friends group, we are the only one with children.

One of my mom friends recently made a comment to me that she thinks it's "great I don't care what I look like and I don't put in too much effort." she followed up by she finds it "stressful getting up early to exercise everyday and get ready for the day."

I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive (probably) but it hurt my feelings. I had DS 5 years ago and DD about 1 year ago. I've struggled to lose the weight. I'm 5'4 pre pregnancy I was about 120, but now I am around 150. I have just been overwhelmed with work, navigating a pandemic with 2 children at home, and other stresses.

I don't particularly dress sloppy but I am not into designer clothes and wear little to no makeup. Mostly wear workout gear (even though I haven't worked out in a while lol, and just basics).

It hurt my feelings but I don't even know if I have a reason to be hurt?

Maybe you don't care how you look but other people have to look at you and they do care. No. You should not be hurt because you choose to look the way you look. Count on these people dropping you as you are an embarrassment to them.

Troll fail.

[Anonymous]

That’s what my mother in law says to me hahahahhahah. I savor it. It’s true.

[Anonymous]

She’s very rude, but lots of people are. I just would not count on her friendship.

[Anonymous]

OP, when I was younger, I thought I had to have an iron-clad reason to drop a friend. It had to be something I could present a case for.

Guess what? You don't have to. Regardless of whether it was intentionally mean, or social awkwardness, or a diagnosed disorder, or just a bad day she was having -- it's fine to just let that relationship go. Stay away. Don't engage.

You don't have to prove to yourself or anyone else that it was meanness that sparked this. It sounds like it was, but it really doesn't matter. You don't owe her your time and attention. You don't owe her anything.

[Anonymous]

Is she a recent immigrant/non-native English speaker?

I am a recent immigrant/kind of non-native English speaker(spoke several languages growing up), and I have noticed that my recent immigrant friends who are non-native English speakers tend not to phrase things right. I am forgiving because I understand that when you are speaking one language in your head and another outloud, the translation gets messed up.

For this group of friends, action speaks louder than words. If they are generally kind, I let a lot of what they say slide.

[Anonymous]

She was rude. She was rude because she is insecure, but that doesn't make it ok. She sounds like the kind of person who will NOT make a good friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That sucks but the same can and has been said about me. I try to laugh it off and I do joke that I like the meme: my personal style can best be described as I wasn’t expecting to get out of the car.

I’m sorry tho!! I probably prefer that to people asking if I’m pregnant again which also happens.

I am definitely stealing this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a group of mom friends in my neighborhood and our children play together. They're great, we're not best friends but it's nice to have people to talk to, as within my personal friends group, we are the only one with children.

One of my mom friends recently made a comment to me that she thinks it's "great I don't care what I look like and I don't put in too much effort." she followed up by she finds it "stressful getting up early to exercise everyday and get ready for the day."

I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive (probably) but it hurt my feelings. I had DS 5 years ago and DD about 1 year ago. I've struggled to lose the weight. I'm 5'4 pre pregnancy I was about 120, but now I am around 150. I have just been overwhelmed with work, navigating a pandemic with 2 children at home, and other stresses.

I don't particularly dress sloppy but I am not into designer clothes and wear little to no makeup. Mostly wear workout gear (even though I haven't worked out in a while lol, and just basics).

It hurt my feelings but I don't even know if I have a reason to be hurt?

I guess I'm an outlier, but if the comment was verbatim, I sorta see it as a compliment - like "you have such a natural look, lots of confidence in yourself, and you don't seem to need to do much; you make it look easy and seamless".

Shrug.

I'm not an overly sensitive person but no, this was not a compliment. Has she said it the way you phrased it, it could have gone either way, but not the way it was said.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she didn't mean it as an insult. I'm a working mom with a career. I'm overweight and about average looking. I have a successful career and can support myself. I live in a community with a bunch of stay at home mom's that have to excercise constantly, show up to pta meetings dressed to the nines etc. One of the sahm once said to me that she had to spend so much time on hair and make up so her husband doesn't leave her. I felt that was a lot of pressure and actually felt bad for her. If my husband leaves me I'll be okay despite my dumpy sloppy appearance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a group of mom friends in my neighborhood and our children play together. They're great, we're not best friends but it's nice to have people to talk to, as within my personal friends group, we are the only one with children.

One of my mom friends recently made a comment to me that she thinks it's "great I don't care what I look like and I don't put in too much effort." she followed up by she finds it "stressful getting up early to exercise everyday and get ready for the day."

I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive (probably) but it hurt my feelings. I had DS 5 years ago and DD about 1 year ago. I've struggled to lose the weight. I'm 5'4 pre pregnancy I was about 120, but now I am around 150. I have just been overwhelmed with work, navigating a pandemic with 2 children at home, and other stresses.

I don't particularly dress sloppy but I am not into designer clothes and wear little to no makeup. Mostly wear workout gear (even though I haven't worked out in a while lol, and just basics).

It hurt my feelings but I don't even know if I have a reason to be hurt?

Oh yeah, she meant it to sting. Makes her feel better about herself. You don't need her in your life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a group of mom friends in my neighborhood and our children play together. They're great, we're not best friends but it's nice to have people to talk to, as within my personal friends group, we are the only one with children.

One of my mom friends recently made a comment to me that she thinks it's "great I don't care what I look like and I don't put in too much effort." she followed up by she finds it "stressful getting up early to exercise everyday and get ready for the day."

I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive (probably) but it hurt my feelings. I had DS 5 years ago and DD about 1 year ago. I've struggled to lose the weight. I'm 5'4 pre pregnancy I was about 120, but now I am around 150. I have just been overwhelmed with work, navigating a pandemic with 2 children at home, and other stresses.

I don't particularly dress sloppy but I am not into designer clothes and wear little to no makeup. Mostly wear workout gear (even though I haven't worked out in a while lol, and just basics).

It hurt my feelings but I don't even know if I have a reason to be hurt?

Maybe you don't care how you look but other people have to look at you and they do care. No. You should not be hurt because you choose to look the way you look. Count on these people dropping you as you are an embarrassment to them.

Well damn. I thought OP's "friend" was bitch. And then along came you!

[Anonymous]

Rude and insecure. If she makes a similar comment again you should either: a) say, “wow. Why would you say that?” Or b) smile and say, “God I know! It’s awesome to be so naturally gorgeous.”

[Anonymous]

some people are like that without meaning to offend. Not defending her, but it could be her default, rather than a deliberate pre-meditated jibe.