Other moms - am I being too sensitive

Anonymous
She's a bitch.... you can wait around and see how it all plays out but she will eventually prove to be a crazy B.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have a group of mom friends in my neighborhood and our children play together. They're great, we're not best friends but it's nice to have people to talk to, as within my personal friends group, we are the only one with children.

One of my mom friends recently made a comment to me that she thinks it's "great I don't care what I look like and I don't put in too much effort." she followed up by she finds it "stressful getting up early to exercise everyday and get ready for the day."

I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive (probably) but it hurt my feelings. I had DS 5 years ago and DD about 1 year ago. I've struggled to lose the weight. I'm 5'4 pre pregnancy I was about 120, but now I am around 150. I have just been overwhelmed with work, navigating a pandemic with 2 children at home, and other stresses.

I don't particularly dress sloppy but I am not into designer clothes and wear little to no makeup. Mostly wear workout gear (even though I haven't worked out in a while lol, and just basics).

It hurt my feelings but I don't even know if I have a reason to be hurt?



Assume the best but yes, I could def see why you would take that in a neg way especially right now when gyms are a danger zone and I know I don't feel safe jogging alone. I also empathize bc I'm put on 10 pounds since the pandemic.
Anonymous
The only way it could be Ok is if you regularly make comments about not caring much.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:That woman is a beee- oooottttchhhhhh



This!!! OMG. What a nasty dig disguised as a “compliment”. Awful. I’d be hurt/annoyed too.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:She is an insensitive jerk and does not deserve your friendship.

Avoid her or if that's not possible, then ice her out (i.e. don't share information with her, be polite but curt).


Agree with this. She gets the cold treatment from now on.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have a group of mom friends in my neighborhood and our children play together. They're great, we're not best friends but it's nice to have people to talk to, as within my personal friends group, we are the only one with children.

One of my mom friends recently made a comment to me that she thinks it's "great I don't care what I look like and I don't put in too much effort." she followed up by she finds it "stressful getting up early to exercise everyday and get ready for the day."

I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive (probably) but it hurt my feelings. I had DS 5 years ago and DD about 1 year ago. I've struggled to lose the weight. I'm 5'4 pre pregnancy I was about 120, but now I am around 150. I have just been overwhelmed with work, navigating a pandemic with 2 children at home, and other stresses.

I don't particularly dress sloppy but I am not into designer clothes and wear little to no makeup. Mostly wear workout gear (even though I haven't worked out in a while lol, and just basics).

It hurt my feelings but I don't even know if I have a reason to be hurt?


I amso sorry! You have every right to feel hurt. This woman might be jealous but it does not matter. Personally, i wouldnt hang around her too much.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:That woman is a beee- oooottttchhhhhh

More like a cee u next tuesday. Zero excuse for her to have said that.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I have a group of mom friends in my neighborhood and our children play together. They're great, we're not best friends but it's nice to have people to talk to, as within my personal friends group, we are the only one with children.

One of my mom friends recently made a comment to me that she thinks it's "great I don't care what I look like and I don't put in too much effort." she followed up by she finds it "stressful getting up early to exercise everyday and get ready for the day."

I'm not sure if I'm being too sensitive (probably) but it hurt my feelings. I had DS 5 years ago and DD about 1 year ago. I've struggled to lose the weight. I'm 5'4 pre pregnancy I was about 120, but now I am around 150. I have just been overwhelmed with work, navigating a pandemic with 2 children at home, and other stresses.

I don't particularly dress sloppy but I am not into designer clothes and wear little to no makeup. Mostly wear workout gear (even though I haven't worked out in a while lol, and just basics).

It hurt my feelings but I don't even know if I have a reason to be hurt?


No, that's definitely a nasty little remark, OP. It is the definition of a backhanded compliment. I don't think there's any value in talking to her about this remark now, since the moment has passed, but it seems likely she will make a similar comment in the future, and if she does, I would respond with something like, "Wow, ouch. That's a pretty rude thing to say to another mom. I'm sorry you are stressed out by prioritizing exercise, but please don't take it out on me."
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That woman is a beee- oooottttchhhhhh



+1000

So sorry, OP. That’s horrible.

Agree. Wow.
Anonymous
Awful. You aren’t being over sensitive at all. What she said is not appropriate under any circumstances and she knows it. I can’t stand women who pull sh*t like this just to make themselves feel a little superior. I also feel sorry for them, because think how I secure you have to be insult your friends like this.

I’m glad these aren’t your main friends. I’d just stay a little wary of that one moving forward. In a few years this group will naturally shrink or reconfigure because the kids will be in school/activities and the playground trips won’t make as much sense. In the meantime, focus on members of the group who don’t do stuff like this and always remember that you can opt out or leave early as you want.

By the way, you do not have to explain your weight or appearance or anything. I bet you look better than you think you do, and how you look is beside the point anyway. You don’t owe this woman, or me, or anyone am explanation for anything about your body or your appearance. And you deserve better than this no matter what.

(Also, it’s a pandemic. Women, are we still pulling this crap on each other DURING A PANDEMIC?!! Come the f on.
Anonymous
Yes, that was rude. And even if she didn't mean it in a negative way, she must be so self-centered not to even realize how that comment sounded to you. Good grief.
Anonymous
Though it sounds terrible, I'm sure I've said stupid things like this myself because I'm a little socially awkward. I would be horrified if I knew how it came across. You can make the judgment as to whether she's generally nasty or this was a one-off.
Anonymous
I think what she said is really terrible. English is not my first language and I come from a culture that is very blunt. Some American friends helped me to be truthful but in a kind way. What she said was not kind. Sometimes I still "put my foot in my mouth" but I apologize right away.

You are not too sensitive. She does not seem like a nice person at all. I agree to keep your distance.
Anonymous
That’s a s*** thing to say to someone, especially during a pandemic.
Anonymous
That sucks but the same can and has been said about me. I try to laugh it off and I do joke that I like the meme: my personal style can best be described as I wasn’t expecting to get out of the car.

I’m sorry tho!! I probably prefer that to people asking if I’m pregnant again which also happens.
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