How long does it take to get over the sting of rejection during the admissions process?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

What mistakes do you think you made?

First of all: raising our kids in this area. It's just too intense. Secondly: sending him to an intense, rigorous private school, that was a completely terrible fit for him. He was miserable since he started there in 7th grade, but my husband wouldn't heaer of pulling him, despite how much he struggled. The feeling was at least it would pay off. It is not paying off. He probably won't even go to college. In case anybody is wondering, a 3.0, especially a 3.0 with only one AP and one honors class, from a "Big 3" is not getting you into college. What a nightmare.

I'm sorry for your son's pain but there is a school for him if ultimately that's what he want's. Might take a year of framing or roofing houses to make him realize college will be the better option but options exist. Don't know the test scores but 3.0 is well a 3.0 "Big 3" or not, with that GPA safeties are Longwood and maybe Radford hope expectations weren't set too high based off of the "Big 3 myth."

But the Naviance numbers would suggest it's not a myth. Of the safeties he's been deferred from so far. a 3.1 is the average gpa for acceptances from his school. Meaning, there were acceptances with with many 2.5s and 2.7s. The schools that were safeties for him were definitely a tier above Longwood and Radford. As I said, he has worked so hard, he just really did expect it to pay off. He is an immensely intellectual kid with a very high IQ, and along with a severe executive function disorder. Many of the schools, like Radford and Longwood, are just completely wrong for him. It just doesn't make any sense, honestly.

[Anonymous]

still sore about one from 2 years ago

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

What mistakes do you think you made?

DP - I don't think he made any mistakes. The only mistake I see here is whoever gave him his list of safety schools. Who advised him? The safety schools here sound like they fall in the pile of 'reach' vs 'safety'.

[Anonymous]

D didn't get any of her top choices. Went reluctantly to a safety and had such a bad attitude she ended up transferring after freshman year. Got into one of her top choices as a transfer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

What mistakes do you think you made?

First of all: raising our kids in this area. It's just too intense. Secondly: sending him to an intense, rigorous private school, that was a completely terrible fit for him. He was miserable since he started there in 7th grade, but my husband wouldn't heaer of pulling him, despite how much he struggled. The feeling was at least it would pay off. It is not paying off. He probably won't even go to college. In case anybody is wondering, a 3.0, especially a 3.0 with only one AP and one honors class, from a "Big 3" is not getting you into college. What a nightmare.

I'm sorry for your son's pain but there is a school for him if ultimately that's what he want's. Might take a year of framing or roofing houses to make him realize college will be the better option but options exist. Don't know the test scores but 3.0 is well a 3.0 "Big 3" or not, with that GPA safeties are Longwood and maybe Radford hope expectations weren't set too high based off of the "Big 3 myth."

But the Naviance numbers would suggest it's not a myth. Of the safeties he's been deferred from so far. a 3.1 is the average gpa for acceptances from his school. Meaning, there were acceptances with with many 2.5s and 2.7s. The schools that were safeties for him were definitely a tier above Longwood and Radford. As I said, he has worked so hard, he just really did expect it to pay off. He is an immensely intellectual kid with a very high IQ, and along with a severe executive function disorder. Many of the schools, like Radford and Longwood, are just completely wrong for him. It just doesn't make any sense, honestly.

If high IQ, did he happen to do well on standardized testing? He could try to flex that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

What mistakes do you think you made?

First of all: raising our kids in this area. It's just too intense. Secondly: sending him to an intense, rigorous private school, that was a completely terrible fit for him. He was miserable since he started there in 7th grade, but my husband wouldn't heaer of pulling him, despite how much he struggled. The feeling was at least it would pay off. It is not paying off. He probably won't even go to college. In case anybody is wondering, a 3.0, especially a 3.0 with only one AP and one honors class, from a "Big 3" is not getting you into college. What a nightmare.

I'm sorry for your son's pain but there is a school for him if ultimately that's what he want's. Might take a year of framing or roofing houses to make him realize college will be the better option but options exist. Don't know the test scores but 3.0 is well a 3.0 "Big 3" or not, with that GPA safeties are Longwood and maybe Radford hope expectations weren't set too high based off of the "Big 3 myth."

But the Naviance numbers would suggest it's not a myth. Of the safeties he's been deferred from so far. a 3.1 is the average gpa for acceptances from his school. Meaning, there were acceptances with with many 2.5s and 2.7s. The schools that were safeties for him were definitely a tier above Longwood and Radford. As I said, he has worked so hard, he just really did expect it to pay off. He is an immensely intellectual kid with a very high IQ, and along with a severe executive function disorder. Many of the schools, like Radford and Longwood, are just completely wrong for him. It just doesn't make any sense, honestly.

If high IQ, did he happen to do well on standardized testing? He could try to flex that.

For the safeties that he has been deferred from yes, it was over 70%. But for his matches and reaches, not really. More like in the 50% range. With executive function disorder and severe ADHD, timed testing is really hard for him. He actually did better than I thought he would. Only one opportunity to take it, as the 4 additional tests, plus 2 rounds of SAT subject tests, he was scheduled for were all canceled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

What mistakes do you think you made?

DP - I don't think he made any mistakes. The only mistake I see here is whoever gave him his list of safety schools. Who advised him? The safety schools here sound like they fall in the pile of 'reach' vs 'safety'.

But if you looked at the data, they were really were safeties. I will say, one of them I am calling a safety, though she called it a match. But the data says it is certainly a safety. It's actually the college I went to. I was hoping for better for him, because he is so smart--but it was always in the back of my mind that, at least it was there as a back up plan. I think that's why this is just so suprising. I wish he was into something vocational, but I just don't think he wants that either. Just at a complete loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

What mistakes do you think you made?

First of all: raising our kids in this area. It's just too intense. Secondly: sending him to an intense, rigorous private school, that was a completely terrible fit for him. He was miserable since he started there in 7th grade, but my husband wouldn't heaer of pulling him, despite how much he struggled. The feeling was at least it would pay off. It is not paying off. He probably won't even go to college. In case anybody is wondering, a 3.0, especially a 3.0 with only one AP and one honors class, from a "Big 3" is not getting you into college. What a nightmare.

I'm sorry for your son's pain but there is a school for him if ultimately that's what he want's. Might take a year of framing or roofing houses to make him realize college will be the better option but options exist. Don't know the test scores but 3.0 is well a 3.0 "Big 3" or not, with that GPA safeties are Longwood and maybe Radford hope expectations weren't set too high based off of the "Big 3 myth."

But the Naviance numbers would suggest it's not a myth. Of the safeties he's been deferred from so far. a 3.1 is the average gpa for acceptances from his school. Meaning, there were acceptances with with many 2.5s and 2.7s. The schools that were safeties for him were definitely a tier above Longwood and Radford. As I said, he has worked so hard, he just really did expect it to pay off. He is an immensely intellectual kid with a very high IQ, and along with a severe executive function disorder. Many of the schools, like Radford and Longwood, are just completely wrong for him. It just doesn't make any sense, honestly.

Try Oglethorpe in Atlanta. Good under-the-radar SLAC (and in a badass location) for intellectual kids whose stats might not suggest intellectualism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

What mistakes do you think you made?

First of all: raising our kids in this area. It's just too intense. Secondly: sending him to an intense, rigorous private school, that was a completely terrible fit for him. He was miserable since he started there in 7th grade, but my husband wouldn't heaer of pulling him, despite how much he struggled. The feeling was at least it would pay off. It is not paying off. He probably won't even go to college. In case anybody is wondering, a 3.0, especially a 3.0 with only one AP and one honors class, from a "Big 3" is not getting you into college. What a nightmare.

I'm sorry for your son's pain but there is a school for him if ultimately that's what he want's. Might take a year of framing or roofing houses to make him realize college will be the better option but options exist. Don't know the test scores but 3.0 is well a 3.0 "Big 3" or not, with that GPA safeties are Longwood and maybe Radford hope expectations weren't set too high based off of the "Big 3 myth."

But the Naviance numbers would suggest it's not a myth. Of the safeties he's been deferred from so far. a 3.1 is the average gpa for acceptances from his school. Meaning, there were acceptances with with many 2.5s and 2.7s. The schools that were safeties for him were definitely a tier above Longwood and Radford. As I said, he has worked so hard, he just really did expect it to pay off. He is an immensely intellectual kid with a very high IQ, and along with a severe executive function disorder. Many of the schools, like Radford and Longwood, are just completely wrong for him. It just doesn't make any sense, honestly.

Try Oglethorpe in Atlanta. Good under-the-radar SLAC (and in a badass location) for intellectual kids whose stats might not suggest intellectualism.

Who are you lol? I think you are paid by Oglethorpe to twirl their sign or something. But having said that, might not be a bad option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

What mistakes do you think you made?

DP - I don't think he made any mistakes. The only mistake I see here is whoever gave him his list of safety schools. Who advised him? The safety schools here sound like they fall in the pile of 'reach' vs 'safety'.

But if you looked at the data, they were really were safeties. I will say, one of them I am calling a safety, though she called it a match. But the data says it is certainly a safety. It's actually the college I went to. I was hoping for better for him, because he is so smart--but it was always in the back of my mind that, at least it was there as a back up plan. I think that's why this is just so suprising. I wish he was into something vocational, but I just don't think he wants that either. Just at a complete loss.

NP, just wanted to say I'm sorry for your DC's experience and I know it seems like everything stinks now but he will find his way. Hugs.