How long does it take to get over the sting of rejection during the admissions process?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my son was deferred from 7 schools right before the holidays--two of them were safeties--and has no acceptances yet. He is very depressed and has given up on school and everything else, over three weeks later. It's awful. I feel for you, but it could be worse!

I want to know what these “safeties” were and how your son was rejected from them.

Your son needs some safer safeties. The good news is that they need him too. The applications are usually easier to complete and many are free. Lots of rolling admissions. Look at the list of colleges that still need students from last May as a guide. Some surprises on there. Some of those deferrals will come through too.

What is the list of colleges that still need students?

It comes out in the Spring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my son was deferred from 7 schools right before the holidays--two of them were safeties--and has no acceptances yet. He is very depressed and has given up on school and everything else, over three weeks later. It's awful. I feel for you, but it could be worse!

I want to know what these “safeties” were and how your son was rejected from them.

T
Why do you want to know and why is "safeties" in quotes. In any event, they are safeties by almost every measure--both with 70-80% acceptance rates overall, and him being in the 75% for GPA and test scores. He also goes to what people here refer to as a "big 3." I was not implying that his safety was in reality a reach, they really were safeties--his college counselor was shocked as well, but couldn't possibly be bothered with finding out what happened. They were deferrals, not rejections, so hopefully at least something will work out. Though all the ones he hasn't heard from yet are matches, so it doesn't seem great. Does that make you feel better?

[Anonymous]

https://www.nacacnet.org

Last years list but it can be used as a guide since we keep.hearing about applications dropping at all be the selective schools. Some schools you expect but others such as Bucknell looking for transfers , Fordham period, etc you might not assume. These are only colleges that belong to the organization. There are many others that need reasonable students too.

Seven deferrals can become seven acceptances to other schools + x taken of the waitlist so now too many choices. Good place to be.

[Anonymous]

I spent a lot of time getting my kid ready for possible rejection. His top choice was a reach. I told him to go for it, and that he could do well if he got it in. I also told him that they reject 94 qualified candidates for every 6 they take. It's a lottery. It can't hurt to try, though. If you don't get in, it's not because you aren't qualified. It's just because they have way more qualified kids than they can take. And I told him that there are dozens and dozens and dozens of great schools that have all of the criteria that he wants and that they all have very successful alumni. He was rejected by his top choice, but he got into a great safety, and is waiting on the rest of his decisions. Start focusing your kid on other great choices. Don't let him brood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nacacnet.org

Last years list but it can be used as a guide since we keep.hearing about applications dropping at all be the selective schools. Some schools you expect but others such as Bucknell looking for transfers , Fordham period, etc you might not assume. These are only colleges that belong to the organization. There are many others that need reasonable students too.

Seven deferrals can become seven acceptances to other schools + x taken of the waitlist so now too many choices. Good place to be.

Thank you for posting this! I didn’t know about this list. It certainly adds a new dimension to thinking through where to apply, and provides hopes for more options if needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nacacnet.org

Last years list but it can be used as a guide since we keep.hearing about applications dropping at all be the selective schools. Some schools you expect but others such as Bucknell looking for transfers , Fordham period, etc you might not assume. These are only colleges that belong to the organization. There are many others that need reasonable students too.

Seven deferrals can become seven acceptances to other schools + x taken of the waitlist so now too many choices. Good place to be.

Thank you for posting this! I didn’t know about this list. It certainly adds a new dimension to thinking through where to apply, and provides hopes for more options if needed.

I scoured that site fairly diligently and don't see a list. This is a link to a homepage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nacacnet.org

Last years list but it can be used as a guide since we keep.hearing about applications dropping at all be the selective schools. Some schools you expect but others such as Bucknell looking for transfers , Fordham period, etc you might not assume. These are only colleges that belong to the organization. There are many others that need reasonable students too.

Seven deferrals can become seven acceptances to other schools + x taken of the waitlist so now too many choices. Good place to be.

Thank you for posting this! I didn’t know about this list. It certainly adds a new dimension to thinking through where to apply, and provides hopes for more options if needed.

I scoured that site fairly diligently and don't see a list. This is a link to a homepage.

https://www.nacacnet.org/news--publications/Research/CollegeOpenings/

[Anonymous]

I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

What mistakes do you think you made?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

None of these are rejections! Lots and lots of colleges are deferring during these uncertain times. No doubt at least one will provide an acceptance during the regular round. Many DCs out there don’t have acceptances yet. Also, your DS might want to throw an application in at a school that has rolling admissions still open. Anyway, it’s important to be your kid’s cheerleader, keep things positive and work through solutions and Plan Bs. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

to the PP with the seven deferrals I'd just like to say I'm sorry. He will certainly get in somewhere but I can imagine the frustration and feelings of wasted high school years. Of course all of that hard work sets him up for success in life, but with the gold shiny ring of college hanging over these kids heads, I know this must be very frustrating right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

What mistakes do you think you made?

First of all: raising our kids in this area. It's just too intense. Secondly: sending him to an intense, rigorous private school, that was a completely terrible fit for him. He was miserable since he started there in 7th grade, but my husband wouldn't heaer of pulling him, despite how much he struggled. The feeling was at least it would pay off. It is not paying off. He probably won't even go to college. In case anybody is wondering, a 3.0, especially a 3.0 with only one AP and one honors class, from a "Big 3" is not getting you into college. What a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS was rejected from his top choice a few days ago. He seemed pretty down about it Friday and Saturday.

How long does it take to shake it off and move on?

Ask any Asian American 18 or older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

What mistakes do you think you made?

First of all: raising our kids in this area. It's just too intense. Secondly: sending him to an intense, rigorous private school, that was a completely terrible fit for him. He was miserable since he started there in 7th grade, but my husband wouldn't heaer of pulling him, despite how much he struggled. The feeling was at least it would pay off. It is not paying off. He probably won't even go to college. In case anybody is wondering, a 3.0, especially a 3.0 with only one AP and one honors class, from a "Big 3" is not getting you into college. What a nightmare.

I'm sorry for your son's pain but there is a school for him if ultimately that's what he want's. Might take a year of framing or roofing houses to make him realize college will be the better option but options exist. Don't know the test scores but 3.0 is well a 3.0 "Big 3" or not, with that GPA safeties are Longwood and maybe Radford hope expectations weren't set too high based off of the "Big 3 myth."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP whose son had 7 deferrals, two from safeties. Just got another one, from his third and final safety. Devastated and giving up. And I dont't blame him. He feels he gave up his entire childhood toiling at this intense, difficult school for nothing, and I don't think he's wrong. What a huge mistake.

What mistakes do you think you made?

First of all: raising our kids in this area. It's just too intense. Secondly: sending him to an intense, rigorous private school, that was a completely terrible fit for him. He was miserable since he started there in 7th grade, but my husband wouldn't heaer of pulling him, despite how much he struggled. The feeling was at least it would pay off. It is not paying off. He probably won't even go to college. In case anybody is wondering, a 3.0, especially a 3.0 with only one AP and one honors class, from a "Big 3" is not getting you into college. What a nightmare.

I understand that all this is incredibly disappointing but (1) he hasn’t actually been rejected anywhere at this point, and (2) there’s a whole other thread on this board about a DC who got into college (High Point) with a 2.6 gpa. There’s lots of good info in that thread. There’s also a thread about colleges that are still looking to fill their classes with students. Plenty of schools would love to have a student with a solid 3.0. Usually those applications are pretty straightforward. Put a few more in, get an acceptance and see how he likes it. He might be a big fish in a small pond and find his stride. There are many paths to success. Onward and upward.