Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you do for a living? Has she expressed a desire to work?

OP again. My wife decided it was time to retire after a lengthy deployment. She has no desire to work. I am okay with that but she needs to cook real food.

But what do you do for a living?

[Anonymous]

You need to realize that you can’t change her but you can change circumstances to get what you want.

(1) set up crock pot meals for everyone to eat at dinner; or prep a casserole and leave instructions for how long to cook it and at what temp.
(2) buy bagged salad mixes; even that paired with BK is not totally terrible
(3) buy semi-prepped foods from the grocery store
(4) start helping her with easy recipes. Think the throw-back “semi-homemade” cooking.
(5) teach her how to cook simple food. As in, spaghetti and meatballs with frozen spinach in the store-bought pasta sauce. There are lots of easy, easy recipes that require very little prep to make. Quesadillas are another. Mix frozen spinach in canned refried beans and make quesadillas with that and cheese in the microwave or on the stove. Etc. etc. cooking is very overwhelming if you don’t even know where to start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you do for a living? Has she expressed a desire to work?

OP again. My wife decided it was time to retire after a lengthy deployment. She has no desire to work. I am okay with that but she needs to cook real food.

But what do you do for a living?

Clearly not active enlisted for 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my spouse suddenly developed obesity and sleep apnea especially after a huge life change like going from a service member to a SAHP of two little kids, I would honestly be forcing him/her to see a medical professional.

OP again. She's collecting disability for her sleep apnea so she doesn't feel a need to address this. She makes excuses about not going to the gym because of the kids so I just don't push her anymore.

Is this some sort of military disability?

When you retire at 20 years service (she had to be enlisted given her age) you can get a disability rating and more money if you qualify. Sleep apnea is a common one to claim regardless of if you have it so you get more disability points/money (I say its annoying as my spouse is retired and the sleep clinic blew him off for years even though he was retired to get a CPAP because they claimed he was only looking for the disability rating but he isn't able to claim it now so they were just being lazy).

OP is probably fake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you do for a living? Has she expressed a desire to work?

OP again. My wife decided it was time to retire after a lengthy deployment. She has no desire to work. I am okay with that but she needs to cook real food.

But what do you do for a living?

This is a ridiculous comeback. So if OP is a surgeon, then he gets to complain but if he's blue-collar he can't? It doesn't matter what OP's line of work is as long as he is providing for his family. If he works nights that means he needs to sleep during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Learn to use the crock pot. When you are home, put the ingredients in and turn it on in time for dinner for your family.

Do the shopping and meal planning. Provide items for healthy snacks that don't require cooking.

That is what a working mom would do if her DH was incapable of cooking.

This is what a lot of working moms would do, yes.

Op, try the slow cooker. One night per week can be takeout. Or batch cook on weekends so she can just reheat. Everyone can be involved in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW retired from the military and is now staying at home with our two kids -1 and 4yo. I work the night shift at my job so I’m not home for dinner. Instead of cooking at home, she will take the trouble of driving to McDonalds or BK and get fast food instead. If she does cook, it’s Mac and cheese or spaghetti with pasta sauce. No variation and it’s not healthy for our kids. She isn’t healthy either, being in her early 40s and suffering from sleep apnea due to obesity. She says “I don’t know what to cook” so I bought her a cookbook weeks ago but she is visiting the drive-thru as I post this. She grew up on a farm in the Midwest and yet doesn’t like vegetables. She refuses to learn how to use the instantpot and takes the trouble of ordering fries, burgers, and nuggets when she could be cooking real food at home. I’m shaking my head. If you’ve faced this at home, how did you manage?

Who is obese in the military? I call troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW retired from the military and is now staying at home with our two kids -1 and 4yo. I work the night shift at my job so I’m not home for dinner. Instead of cooking at home, she will take the trouble of driving to McDonalds or BK and get fast food instead. If she does cook, it’s Mac and cheese or spaghetti with pasta sauce. No variation and it’s not healthy for our kids. She isn’t healthy either, being in her early 40s and suffering from sleep apnea due to obesity. She says “I don’t know what to cook” so I bought her a cookbook weeks ago but she is visiting the drive-thru as I post this. She grew up on a farm in the Midwest and yet doesn’t like vegetables. She refuses to learn how to use the instantpot and takes the trouble of ordering fries, burgers, and nuggets when she could be cooking real food at home. I’m shaking my head. If you’ve faced this at home, how did you manage?

Who is obese in the military? I call troll.

My (female) friend was discharged for obesity. I’m guessing she’s just thick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You work night which means you pretty much are home all day.

Learn how to use a crockpot and make dinner.

Make food during the day they can heat up.

Seriously, what else are you going alllllll daaaaaay loooong?

He's probably sleeping for a good chunk of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you do for a living? Has she expressed a desire to work?

OP again. My wife decided it was time to retire after a lengthy deployment. She has no desire to work. I am okay with that but she needs to cook real food.

“She needs to cook real food.”

Honestly I think a lot of people in your partners situation wouldn’t want to cook either. With your attitude it sounds like maybe nothing is good enough. Do you find fault with her in a lot of areas of her life? If a partner is hypercritical, sometimes it’s easier to give up than try and risk not being good enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You work night which means you pretty much are home all day.

Learn how to use a crockpot and make dinner.

Make food during the day they can heat up.

Seriously, what else are you going alllllll daaaaaay loooong?

He's probably sleeping for a good chunk of the day.

But not so long he can’t prep dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t know how to cook. A cookbook doesn’t teach you how to cook.

Np. If you can read and follow instructions than you can cook.


Sorry op if you wife doesnt want to cook it is difficult to make her. I would cook on the weekends enough for the week if you really want the kids to eat right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you're cooking the meals, Op ... you have no say[/q

uote]

Dp I dont think you are being fair to the op. Wife isnt even trying. Fast food is really bad for your health and he sounds concerned for his family.

Wife should cook since she is home. At least try to make healthy meals!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Little people don't eat that much, and you can feed the kids separately. I suggest going grocery shopping as a family. Little kids will always eat fruit. There's your side for all meals. My kids always ate broccoli florets. One meal my kids raved about that is so easy: Pepperidge Farm pastry shells with sliced grilled chicken and some cream of chicken soup on top. Get the already sliced grilled chicken in the meat department. Work with her to get a decent meal together and then thank her and give her credit for the effort. See if you can get the 4 year old interested in how cooking works. I think she's being passive aggressive with the trips to Burger King, but you've got to support her and not be mansplaining.

Is this meant to be a healthy meal? It sounds atrocious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you do for a living? Has she expressed a desire to work?

OP again. My wife decided it was time to retire after a lengthy deployment. She has no desire to work. I am okay with that but she needs to cook real food.

“She needs to cook real food.”

Honestly I think a lot of people in your partners situation wouldn’t want to cook either. With your attitude it sounds like maybe nothing is good enough. Do you find fault with her in a lot of areas of her life? If a partner is hypercritical, sometimes it’s easier to give up than try and risk not being good enough.

There’s a vast gray area between eating fast food every night and cordon bleu cookery. His wife needs to explore this area.