Wife is just unimaginative with food and prefers to eat crap...at my wits’ end

[Anonymous]

Taking care of a 1 and 4 year old all day in a pandemic is HARD, especially if you’re transitioning from a FT job (probably even harder for military deployment?) OP, you need to get your wife some help and take on the load of cooking. Perhaps cook and feed your kids a big meal while you are home, so that they don’t eat too much of the fast food she gets at night.

[Anonymous]

^^ Btw, I am a WOHM with a working spouse who cooks. So it’s definitely possible to cook after working.

[Anonymous]

The responses here are shocking. Do you not realize the amount of emotional labor OP has to perform just to make sure that his kids eat well? It’s crazy people are suggesting that he needs to be the one to remind his wife via text or phone or talk to her about her stupidity. She should know all these things already!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses here are shocking. Do you not realize the amount of emotional labor OP has to perform just to make sure that his kids eat well? It’s crazy people are suggesting that he needs to be the one to remind his wife via text or phone or talk to her about her stupidity. She should know all these things already!

Sorry your husband left you - but you won’t score points with OP on anonymous forum by engaging in petty misogyny. Try harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses here are shocking. Do you not realize the amount of emotional labor OP has to perform just to make sure that his kids eat well? It’s crazy people are suggesting that he needs to be the one to remind his wife via text or phone or talk to her about her stupidity. She should know all these things already!

She is feeding them, just not what he wants.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like there is a lack of communication/lack of teamwork. OP have you sat down with her to come up with a mutually agreeable game plan for feeding your children? You say you gave her a cookbook, shop for foods, stock the fridge, etc. But you are not getting the results you want. What does she want? Why does she prefer fast food over what you have in the fridge? Did you ever ask her what she would like to eat and then get/prepare that for her? Or are you insisting she eats what you like? Is she depressed? If so, you should encourage her to get help. What does she say when you express concern for the kids’ diet? How’s your relationship otherwise? From what you write, you sound like adversaries, not a team trying to parent your kids the best you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like there is a lack of communication/lack of teamwork. OP have you sat down with her to come up with a mutually agreeable game plan for feeding your children? You say you gave her a cookbook, shop for foods, stock the fridge, etc. But you are not getting the results you want. What does she want? Why does she prefer fast food over what you have in the fridge? Did you ever ask her what she would like to eat and then get/prepare that for her? Or are you insisting she eats what you like? Is she depressed? If so, you should encourage her to get help. What does she say when you express concern for the kids’ diet? How’s your relationship otherwise? From what you write, you sound like adversaries, not a team trying to parent your kids the best you can.

DP. It's evident that the wife is being spiteful or obtuse when it comes to feeding their kids. Burgers and fries every day is not healthy and she is modelling bad eating habits for their kids. This isn't uncommon...why do you think this country has an obesity problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like there is a lack of communication/lack of teamwork. OP have you sat down with her to come up with a mutually agreeable game plan for feeding your children? You say you gave her a cookbook, shop for foods, stock the fridge, etc. But you are not getting the results you want. What does she want? Why does she prefer fast food over what you have in the fridge? Did you ever ask her what she would like to eat and then get/prepare that for her? Or are you insisting she eats what you like? Is she depressed? If so, you should encourage her to get help. What does she say when you express concern for the kids’ diet? How’s your relationship otherwise? From what you write, you sound like adversaries, not a team trying to parent your kids the best you can.

DP. It's evident that the wife is being spiteful or obtuse when it comes to feeding their kids. Burgers and fries every day is not healthy and she is modelling bad eating habits for their kids. This isn't uncommon...why do you think this country has an obesity problem?

It's not uncommon...so is everybody who is eating fast food being spiteful and obtuse?

People with poor eating habits usually know they have poor eating habits. Knowledge isn't the issue. It's the habit, as you said, and that's what should be addressed. Shaming won't help, at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who wouldn't have disdain for a person who has weight issues and yet keeps on eating junk?

Good people, that’s who.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses here are shocking. Do you not realize the amount of emotional labor OP has to perform just to make sure that his kids eat well? It’s crazy people are suggesting that he needs to be the one to remind his wife via text or phone or talk to her about her stupidity. She should know all these things already!

He said upthread he makes his own dinner. Why doesn’t he feed the kids what he eats? Most kids would be happy to eat dinner at 4:30

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses here are shocking. Do you not realize the amount of emotional labor OP has to perform just to make sure that his kids eat well? It’s crazy people are suggesting that he needs to be the one to remind his wife via text or phone or talk to her about her stupidity. She should know all these things already!

She is feeding them, just not what he wants.

This is SUCH BS.

It sounds like the way she is feeding them borders on neglect or abuse - simply because she can't be bothered to own up to and mitigate her own disgusting habits. Newsflash, lady: you are now a mother, which means you now have to make better choices, as they now affect more than just your selfish @ss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses here are shocking. Do you not realize the amount of emotional labor OP has to perform just to make sure that his kids eat well? It’s crazy people are suggesting that he needs to be the one to remind his wife via text or phone or talk to her about her stupidity. She should know all these things already!

She is feeding them, just not what he wants.

This is SUCH BS.

It sounds like the way she is feeding them borders on neglect or abuse - simply because she can't be bothered to own up to and mitigate her own disgusting habits. Newsflash, lady: you are now a mother, which means you now have to make better choices, as they now affect more than just your selfish @ss.

We don't know how often she is going to get fast food with the kids. OP says she makes spaghetti and Mac and cheese, which is a choice many parents make several times per week. It's not ideal but it is in no way neglect or abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses here are shocking. Do you not realize the amount of emotional labor OP has to perform just to make sure that his kids eat well? It’s crazy people are suggesting that he needs to be the one to remind his wife via text or phone or talk to her about her stupidity. She should know all these things already!

She is feeding them, just not what he wants.

This is SUCH BS.

It sounds like the way she is feeding them borders on neglect or abuse - simply because she can't be bothered to own up to and mitigate her own disgusting habits. Newsflash, lady: you are now a mother, which means you now have to make better choices, as they now affect more than just your selfish @ss.

We don't know how often she is going to get fast food with the kids. OP says she makes spaghetti and Mac and cheese, which is a choice many parents make several times per week. It's not ideal but it is in no way neglect or abuse.

But not feeding the kids any vegetables or fish is madness just because she doesn’t like them. Also, why is it that people that grow up on farms don’t like vegetables?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to work nights and was home for dinner daily. How are you not home for dinner? Eat dinner at 530

Why won't OP reply to this? Troll

OP here. I wish I was a troll. I have to commute an hour to work so eating dinner at 5.30pm isn't going to work for me. I have tried many of the suggestions here but my wife tends to conveniently forget when I'm the one who does the cooking and still gets takeout or fast food.

Your kids need to eat when YOU eat. We used to have dinner at 4:30 for a while. NBD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses here are shocking. Do you not realize the amount of emotional labor OP has to perform just to make sure that his kids eat well? It’s crazy people are suggesting that he needs to be the one to remind his wife via text or phone or talk to her about her stupidity. She should know all these things already!

She is feeding them, just not what he wants.

This is SUCH BS.

It sounds like the way she is feeding them borders on neglect or abuse - simply because she can't be bothered to own up to and mitigate her own disgusting habits. Newsflash, lady: you are now a mother, which means you now have to make better choices, as they now affect more than just your selfish @ss.

We don't know how often she is going to get fast food with the kids. OP says she makes spaghetti and Mac and cheese, which is a choice many parents make several times per week. It's not ideal but it is in no way neglect or abuse.

But not feeding the kids any vegetables or fish is madness just because she doesn’t like them. Also, why is it that people that grow up on farms don’t like vegetables?

This. Just because she doesn’t like vegetables does not mean she shouldn’t be teaching her kids to like them. She is setting them up for a lifetime of health issues bc they won’t eat anything that’s not “tan” or processed.

Ask me how I know?