Uncooperative Ex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately, the schools he is most interested in require it. Sigh. I called one school to plead our case and waiting for a call back. So frustrating because its not like he is going to pay a dime so why is his information required under these circumstances. Just sucks that dc won't be considered for any financial assistance if his father refuses to complete the form.

I'm sympathetic to you on a personal level, but on a systemic level, I don't think it is fair to treat divorced parents differently from married parents. I mean, my husband would prefer to just say "I opt out of paying for college and don't hold it against my kid" too because he is the higher earner in our relationship and our EFC would look a lot lower without his income.

even parents that will pay would just refuse to fill out the form and reimburse either the kid or parent who does pay. It's unworkable to give people that easy a way to increase their financial aid and not expect rampant abuse

[Anonymous]

What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whoever is saying child support is college help you are incorrect. That is the calculated child support based on pre college expenses. If college is added to only the mothers expenses child support would modify to reflect that.

The point is, DC kids get YEARS more support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

No one is "penalized" here. If they were still married, Dad could say he wasn't going to help pay for college. Same situation. Should that family get more financial aid? If so, wouldn't all parents just claim they will not help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

My ed pays CS because he doesn’t want to go to jail. He has owed money for years but not enough to go to jail. He has not spoken to me or our child for at least 5 yrs. But when I apply for aid, he won’t fill out any paperwork. Those forms you can fill out if the NCP won’t fill out the paperwork only apply to parents who don’t even pay CS. My ex pays but only because he doesn’t want to end up in jail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

Then her child is ahead of me!

Both my parents made a lot of money and refused to help me. I was totally F*cked with the FAFSA. My expected family contribution was 50K over 20 years ago and my parents paid zero towards college.

This system is unfair for a lot of people. OP’s child is still ahead of kids like me with well off married parents who contributed nothing to my college education. I’m sorry you’re not going to get special treatment because you’re divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

Then her child is ahead of me!

Both my parents made a lot of money and refused to help me. I was totally F*cked with the FAFSA. My expected family contribution was 50K over 20 years ago and my parents paid zero towards college.

This system is unfair for a lot of people. OP’s child is still ahead of kids like me with well off married parents who contributed nothing to my college education. I’m sorry you’re not going to get special treatment because you’re divorced.

Get over it and go see a therapist for your unresolved anger and mommy/daddy issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

Then her child is ahead of me!

Both my parents made a lot of money and refused to help me. I was totally F*cked with the FAFSA. My expected family contribution was 50K over 20 years ago and my parents paid zero towards college.

This system is unfair for a lot of people. OP’s child is still ahead of kids like me with well off married parents who contributed nothing to my college education. I’m sorry you’re not going to get special treatment because you’re divorced.

Get over it and go see a therapist for your unresolved anger and mommy/daddy issues

LOL

You’re the one trying to say OP’s kid should be able to omit the dads income on FAFSA because they’re divorced. I think you and all the divorced moms need to get over it. You actually had more control in the situation than I did — YOU chose those guys to procreate with!

Get over it is my message to you

[Anonymous]

^^Really fine person here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a lot of you are missing is that the mom is willing to pay the EFC the college feels is appropriate based on her income and assets (I assume).

Instead the burden of the EFC of the father (which is given our separately) falls to the mother.

Schools justify this by saying he has a history of supporting the child. When the alternative is jail, I don't think that's a fair assessment.

I don't think these mothers (and hey, sometimes it can be fathers) who live and breathe and spend pretty much all of their money on their children-- to say nothing of the toll of being there for the children, often having to compensate for a parent who does not participate-- should be penalized in this fashion.

They are not being penalized in the eyes of DC law. The moms get CS if agreed to/ ordered. And they get College costs if and only if the dad had agreed to it in the divorce agreement. DC has not recognized that college is a “necessity”. Not everyone has a right to go to college. Not everyone gets to go to a 40k or 70k a year school. The court will either say the divorce agreement controls or OP gets nothing because college is not a necessity as is food and shelter (CS). DD (in the eyes of the court) can go to community college and work part time. It all turns on what the dad has agreed to pay towards college j. The divorce agreement. Then OP has to decide whether or not it’s worth $11,100(average cost) to engage a family law practitioner in DC to enforce the divorce agreement.