Braids for white daughter? I want to be culturally appropriate. Help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in a free country. If the girls want to be twins, let them be twins. OMG! Enough of this B.S.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm a mixed-race foreigner and don't understand the American concept of cultural appropriation at all. It doesn't exist in other countries. It seems to be another one of these self-flagellation concepts that privileged people add to their lives because they have nothing of importance to worry about.

I say your daughter can have braids, whatever kind she wants.

And if anyone wants to dress up as someone from any of my two cultures, they're welcome to.

+1 million, especially the bolded.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is white. Blond haired blue eyed pale white. Her best friend is African American. Best friend wears her hair in tiny braids and sometimes has colorful beads in her hair. My kid wants braids. And beads. The girls are 5 years old. They want to match because they are best friends since they remember. What can I do that is appropriate and will be a good fit? My kid is too young to understand culturally appropriate choices. Help?

Sorry if I missed this, but does your DD’s friend want their hair to match or would she be happy with matching t-shirts or dresses?

[Anonymous]

Talk to the mother. See how she feels. How she is talking to her daughter about being unique.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a complete idiot though I feel like one now. I know better than to let my kid have braids to match her friend. Could I do french braids instead and put beads in her hair that way? I'm so lost on this. I am an immigrant, sorry for not understanding. I am trying.

French braids would be cute. Get them friendship bracelets or something that can match.

Tell your daughter "Cornrows are for black girls. White girls wear French braids. Girls of all colors can wear friendship bracelets."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to the mother. See how she feels. How she is talking to her daughter about being unique.

I like this idea of checking with the Mom to get her take. When I was little i loved beads- my Mom is anti-beads. So I only got them with my grandmother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were in the Bahamas last year and 2 local women asked me if I wanted my hair braided on the beach. I declined but they did DDs, with beads. She was 8. She loved it and we paid for them. It was their business. Was that not ok?

I had this done too, when I was younger, on a cruise to the Caribbean. Women do it in many of the ports there as a business.
It never occurred to my parents that this wasn’t okay or that it was “cultural appropriation.” I don’t think that term even existed in the 90s.

[Anonymous]

Black woman here and I think it’s fine. I can’t imagine any of my friends seeing a problem with it either. It is not cultural appropriation unless your DD claims she invented it and seems to make money off it, to the detriment of those who really did create it. Will it look good? Who knows, but she’s five, who cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were in the Bahamas last year and 2 local women asked me if I wanted my hair braided on the beach. I declined but they did DDs, with beads. She was 8. She loved it and we paid for them. It was their business. Was that not ok?

I had this done too, when I was younger, on a cruise to the Caribbean. Women do it in many of the ports there as a business.
It never occurred to my parents that this wasn’t okay or that it was “cultural appropriation.” I don’t think that term even existed in the 90s.

That's because it didn't really exist. It also wasn't seen as a bad thing to want to wear something "cool" from another culture. Mocking (like those ridiculous Native American outfits) is bad. Braids because they are cool wasn't.

[Anonymous]

Of course she can have braids. Bo Derek rocked them and so can she . Stop the insanity!

[Anonymous]

dreads of course

[Anonymous]

White girls have had braids for thousands of years. It kept your hair out of farm equipment and out of your face when you worked.

[Anonymous]

So right now your daughter doesn't think her black friend is any different than her. Telling her she can't have her hair in braids like her black friend because she's not black like her friend will plant the seed in her head that she, a white girl, is different than her best friend, a black girl. Seems like a bad idea. Let her braid her hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:not gonna read this whole thread but, to OP, i would do a couple of small braids with beads on the end. the whole head of braids probably wouldn’t work that well with her hair type anyways. something like this (sorry the best pic i could find is a doll)

https://images.app.goo.gl/GhHc8iEVkoML2AWM6

Yes, I would do this. My mom used to do this to our hair when we were little and let us do a few beads at the bottom. The rest our hair remained straight, though.

[Anonymous]

Do Heidi type of braids. Farm girls have done these for millenia.