Braids for white daughter? I want to be culturally appropriate. Help!

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t worry one second about this. She can do whatever she wants with her hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were in the Bahamas last year and 2 local women asked me if I wanted my hair braided on the beach. I declined but they did DDs, with beads. She was 8. She loved it and we paid for them. It was their business. Was that not ok?

Those women are just trying to feed their kids. They don’t care what your DD’s classmates might think about her back in the US.

[Anonymous]

You can have whatever hairstyle you want. One race does not have a monopoly on hairstyle, clothing style, or anything else. If a product exists, but it. If a style exists, wear it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG

+1

That is the state of things now pp. Thank god it is only in this backwaters country.

Explain yourself. You don’t make sense.

[Anonymous]

No. We have plenty of braids in white culture. Any white culture. We lived in Africa, girl, and my blonde white dd never wore any kind of African braid. Get a grip. Plus, white hair if not even meant for that kind of braiding!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. We have plenty of braids in white culture. Any white culture. We lived in Africa, girl, and my blonde white dd never wore any kind of African braid. Get a grip. Plus, white hair if not even meant for that kind of braiding!

That’s fine if you want to decide that for your child but you have no right to tell OP or me what’s ok for our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. We have plenty of braids in white culture. Any white culture. We lived in Africa, girl, and my blonde white dd never wore any kind of African braid. Get a grip. Plus, white hair if not even meant for that kind of braiding!

That’s fine if you want to decide that for your child but you have no right to tell OP or me what’s ok for our kids.

But she asked? So yes, I have a right to offer my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. We have plenty of braids in white culture. Any white culture. We lived in Africa, girl, and my blonde white dd never wore any kind of African braid. Get a grip. Plus, white hair if not even meant for that kind of braiding!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's fine. Do the braids and beads and let them match. Some people will consider you clueless and offensive. But it's totally normal for kids to want to be twinsies. She knows she is different from her best friend but she wants to imitate her and that is normal. But please, do not explain cultural appropriation to a 4 year old. This is a novel concept that will likely transition to a more enlightened view that, for example, kids can dress up as twins.

I sent my kid to a preschool where she was the only white kid. For her self portrait, she drew herself with blonde hair and black skin. Identity is fragile at that age and they want to belong. No one said a word to her about it, and that was the right answer.

I am the white mom of a black daughter and 2 Latina daughters. I agree with this.

I would let them have their braids and be twinsies. It sounds delightful frankly. It would be offensive to insist that the black girl can only wear black girl hair styles and the white girl can only wear white girl hairstyles imo.

Now, will you get some busybody means-well-but-clueless-white-Liberal-momma in your face about it? Yep. You just explain very matter of factly that your daughter is twinsies with her best friend (do NOT say she is black), and that you're so glad they have found each other. If you've got your phone then pull it out and show a picture of the two girls. Then walk away. Some people just aren't worthy of anything more.

Are you tokenizing your kids?
Yikes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were in the Bahamas last year and 2 local women asked me if I wanted my hair braided on the beach. I declined but they did DDs, with beads. She was 8. She loved it and we paid for them. It was their business. Was that not ok?

Those women are just trying to feed their kids. They don’t care what your DD’s classmates might think about her back in the US.

I think thats the point. Its ok sometimes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP. This sucks. It’s so hard to explain to your daughter that she cannot wear this style - it seems unfair and won’t make sense to her. Just remember that black parents have to have conversations about unfairness for subject matters much more dire than hairstyles.

It seems unfair because it is unfair. When blacks stop straightening their hair, I'll worry about them "owning" braids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were in the Bahamas last year and 2 local women asked me if I wanted my hair braided on the beach. I declined but they did DDs, with beads. She was 8. She loved it and we paid for them. It was their business. Was that not ok?

Those women are just trying to feed their kids. They don’t care what your DD’s classmates might think about her back in the US.

I think thats the point. Its ok sometimes?

Whoosh!

[Anonymous]

This friendship already sounds like too much trouble. In K one of my girls friends had her hair professionally straightened (so perfect you could not tell). When I told the little girl she had very pretty hair the mom went crazy. Ok. I didn’t know you were crazy re:hair. But ok let’s not be friends!

[Anonymous]

not gonna read this whole thread but, to OP, i would do a couple of small braids with beads on the end. the whole head of braids probably wouldn’t work that well with her hair type anyways. something like this (sorry the best pic i could find is a doll)

https://images.app.goo.gl/GhHc8iEVkoML2AWM6

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's fine. Do the braids and beads and let them match. Some people will consider you clueless and offensive. But it's totally normal for kids to want to be twinsies. She knows she is different from her best friend but she wants to imitate her and that is normal. But please, do not explain cultural appropriation to a 4 year old. This is a novel concept that will likely transition to a more enlightened view that, for example, kids can dress up as twins.

I sent my kid to a preschool where she was the only white kid. For her self portrait, she drew herself with blonde hair and black skin. Identity is fragile at that age and they want to belong. No one said a word to her about it, and that was the right answer.

I am the white mom of a black daughter and 2 Latina daughters. I agree with this.

I would let them have their braids and be twinsies. It sounds delightful frankly. It would be offensive to insist that the black girl can only wear black girl hair styles and the white girl can only wear white girl hairstyles imo.

Now, will you get some busybody means-well-but-clueless-white-Liberal-momma in your face about it? Yep. You just explain very matter of factly that your daughter is twinsies with her best friend (do NOT say she is black), and that you're so glad they have found each other. If you've got your phone then pull it out and show a picture of the two girls. Then walk away. Some people just aren't worthy of anything more.

Are you tokenizing your kids?
Yikes!

You're kidding me, right!?! How am I "tokenizing" my kids exactly???