Kid got in off WL to an elite school but won’t go

[Anonymous]

OP I’m sorry you are in this position. HS students don’t always know as much as they think they do. We were in the exact same position and DC choose the school with the most perceived prestige and really built up by one teacher ( whose neck I would like to wring). It wasn’t a good fit and realized that after a semester.
DC was mad that the school “waitlisted”. If they don’t want me I don’t want them. They don’t understand that no one will know or care that you were WL.

[Anonymous]

How were you in the same boat as OP? Your kid picked the more prestigious school and he is pressuring his kid to do that (because they are inclined not to)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is his first big decision of his adult life. He needs to own it. If he owns it, he'll work hard to prove his decision was a good one. He will work hard to prove it to you. That is what you want. That is what you want above all else.

+1 This. AND...if he goes to the other school begrudgingly, he will not do well. Or the minute he has an issue, it will be YOUR fault, according to him. All throughout his life it will be "(bitching) if you hadn't made me go to (higher ranked school)."

So let it go, OP. And OP, btw, I totally get it. You want (your perception of what is ) the best for your child; we all do. I'm very sympathetic to you. It will be ok.

[Anonymous]

Let the kid go where kid wants to go!

I turned down Ivy for big state U, partly because big state U was cheaper but mostly because big state U seemed more fun. I'm glad I did. I was not held back in the slightest when I applied to schools post-college. I got in everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How were you in the same boat as OP? Your kid picked the more prestigious school and he is pressuring his kid to do that (because they are inclined not to)?

The same boat as knowing that prestige is not everything and that fit is important but being an adult you can see it but they can’t. Also it is not that easy to change schools. It seems easy but in reality it’s difficult especially at smaller elite schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How were you in the same boat as OP? Your kid picked the more prestigious school and he is pressuring his kid to do that (because they are inclined not to)?

The same boat as knowing that prestige is not everything and that fit is important but being an adult you can see it but they can’t. Also it is not that easy to change schools. It seems easy but in reality it’s difficult especially at smaller elite schools.

No kid needs to go to an “elite” school. In fact, a lot of kids don’t need college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got into a very prestigious school that would have cost nothing. I chose a school that was not nearly as prestigious and cost a little bit but was almost totally covered. My parents were disappointed at first with my choice but they really did not harp on it, and they allowed me to make that choice. I look back today and think about how different my life would be - but not in a bad way. I have a perfectly great career and am a fully functioning, happy adult. I think about how the friends I made wouldn’t be in my life and I wouldn’t have had certain experiences and memories I cherish.

Let your kid decide his future.

Yup. you regret it.

Whatever makes you feel better!

[Anonymous]

I went to an HYP and was miserable. My best friend went to Davidson and made lifelong friends. I wish I’d gone to a smaller, less “prestigious” school (I’ve often thought Davidson would have been wonderful) where I might have developed more confidence in myself. I have very few fond memories of college, and am not in touch with anyone from my alma mater.

[Anonymous]

I went to an HYP and was miserable. My best friend went to Davidson and made lifelong friends. I wish I’d gone to a smaller, less “prestigious” school (I’ve often thought Davidson would have been wonderful) where I might have developed more confidence in myself. I have very few fond memories of college, and am not in touch with anyone from my alma mater.

[Anonymous]

Damn. That's an AWFULLY SAD story on Mother's Day. Sending you peaceful thoughts for healing!!!!

[Anonymous]

My guess is the school is Grinnell.
Prestige of college means little when comparing graduates of highly ranked LACs. If you do well, future employer's or graduate schools will recognize that and won't care about which top school gave you the certificate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Picking a specific school so you can fit in with DC elites if you choose to return to this area seems a bit parochial. It’s a big world and most of it is more interesting and less stuck up than this region.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

I went to an HYP and was miserable. My best friend went to Davidson and made lifelong friends. I wish I’d gone to a smaller, less “prestigious” school (I’ve often thought Davidson would have been wonderful) where I might have developed more confidence in myself. I have very few fond memories of college, and am not in touch with anyone from my alma mater.

Before anybody feels too sorry for me, I'm very happy now and made sure my kids went to places that were right for them. One of them ended up at another HYP and loved it (she has much more self-confidence than I do) and another went to a very supportive school that is known for student happiness. She had a terrific time there too. I'm in a career that has provided me with immense satisfaction. So post-college life has been pretty wonderful!

[Anonymous]

UVA waitlist moving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UVA waitlist moving

Sry! Wrong post