Talk to me about your 15 year marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a happy stage for us at year 15. Kids are older (tween and two elementary aged) - they sleep, are more independent, and we can have more fun as a family than we could when they were little, haven't hit teenage drama yet. We have our shared interests in the home/kids/pets but also our separate interests - our own hobbies, our own friends. I think it's important to maintain that admiration and bond with each other, but also to have separate identities.

I literally had to double check that I didnt write this. My DH and I are best friends and the three kids are at the amazing Goldilocks stage of elementary and early tween.

Only differences is 14 years and my DH is tolerant of but not interested in my cats ha ha ha.

We had a day date for Valentine's Day. Had sex twice! Not bad for 45 year olds!

LOL! On Valentine’s Day a few years ago my husband, who works nearby, came home at 1pm to pack for a flight later that pm. We were standing in our master closet and I said I really hated that he was leaving on V-day. The next thing I knew we were on the closet floor going at it. At one point I turned my head and there was our cat staring at me. It was a very memorable Valentine’s Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My marriage is at year 14 and it's as bad as it's ever been. Wife resents me for reasons that aren't fair, sex life is gone completely. She is unhappy, end of story, but also recognizes she has it all on paper. So we will probably divorce but no one wants to break up the family. We co-parent peacefully and for now it's fine but not sustainable.
From the outside, people would assume we are that fun, loving couple. It's all a sham.

We were super happy for years and years, until she wasn't and we weren't.

Inform your sexless wife the marriage is open, then make plans (without her) friday night. Join a co-ed volleyball team and go out afterwards for drinks. Accept that DW wants to be your roommate, not your lover. Like you said that is not sustainable for you (a normal man with normal sexual needs). She is probably fine going decades without sex, which means it is entirely on you to fix this. So the only way to avoid "breaking up the family" is for you to go meet your needs elsewhere. Otherwise, 100% certain divorce, and you know I am right.

I see you post here all the time and let me give you real world insight into this: Yes you are right but no its not that simple. I would have zero problem having an affair but it just throws a stick of dynamite into a roaring fire. The marital house is on fire and you are advocating something that will bring in the bulldozer. Sure, if after all efforts we can't get this back running and she really shows no interest in sex, I will divorce or affair, but your solution isn't so easy as you make it sound.

Plus, if you have ever had an affair, which you haven't, you would know there is a real woman on the other side of this, who has her own needs and feelings. I am sure they exist, but most female APs don't want to be pumped and dumped. They want some connection too.

I post all the time because miserable guys like you post all the time and I try to help a brother out. You start by acknowledging I’m right, then you veer off into pointless excuses for not doing the right thing. Yes it IS that easy: just a 20 second conversation is all it takes. Your marriage is already destroyed. And it will fall down in short order all on it’s own. The open marriage solution is the only way to keep the roof from caving in, so you have this all backwards. Why would she care that you have plans Friday nite? Sex is not important to her. She can’t have it both ways.

Plenty of women are down for a sexual relationship with married men. Not sure why you view consensual sex as “pump and dump” because that is an unhealthy perspective.

Guy here: You post all the time because you are frustrated and wish you could declare your own marriage open. If you've got it all figured out, then why are you still trolling around on this board. It's ok if you're just another one of the miserable guys. Guys that go around having sex outside of their marriage aren't usually the type to anonymously "help a brother out".

My own marriage is exact opposite of sexless. And I’m not the least bit miserable. Yes, I am offering you sincere help. That’s the only reason I post.

You are creepy as heck, Angry Sexless Marriage Guy. Happily married people don't post crap like this 20 times a week so I'm calling BS. You need help if you are truly this obsessed with other peoples' sex lives

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My marriage is at year 14 and it's as bad as it's ever been. Wife resents me for reasons that aren't fair, sex life is gone completely. She is unhappy, end of story, but also recognizes she has it all on paper. So we will probably divorce but no one wants to break up the family. We co-parent peacefully and for now it's fine but not sustainable.
From the outside, people would assume we are that fun, loving couple. It's all a sham.

We were super happy for years and years, until she wasn't and we weren't.

Inform your sexless wife the marriage is open, then make plans (without her) friday night. Join a co-ed volleyball team and go out afterwards for drinks. Accept that DW wants to be your roommate, not your lover. Like you said that is not sustainable for you (a normal man with normal sexual needs). She is probably fine going decades without sex, which means it is entirely on you to fix this. So the only way to avoid "breaking up the family" is for you to go meet your needs elsewhere. Otherwise, 100% certain divorce, and you know I am right.

I see you post here all the time and let me give you real world insight into this: Yes you are right but no its not that simple. I would have zero problem having an affair but it just throws a stick of dynamite into a roaring fire. The marital house is on fire and you are advocating something that will bring in the bulldozer. Sure, if after all efforts we can't get this back running and she really shows no interest in sex, I will divorce or affair, but your solution isn't so easy as you make it sound.

Plus, if you have ever had an affair, which you haven't, you would know there is a real woman on the other side of this, who has her own needs and feelings. I am sure they exist, but most female APs don't want to be pumped and dumped. They want some connection too.

I post all the time because miserable guys like you post all the time and I try to help a brother out. You start by acknowledging I’m right, then you veer off into pointless excuses for not doing the right thing. Yes it IS that easy: just a 20 second conversation is all it takes. Your marriage is already destroyed. And it will fall down in short order all on it’s own. The open marriage solution is the only way to keep the roof from caving in, so you have this all backwards. Why would she care that you have plans Friday nite? Sex is not important to her. She can’t have it both ways.

Plenty of women are down for a sexual relationship with married men. Not sure why you view consensual sex as “pump and dump” because that is an unhealthy perspective.

Guy here: You post all the time because you are frustrated and wish you could declare your own marriage open. If you've got it all figured out, then why are you still trolling around on this board. It's ok if you're just another one of the miserable guys. Guys that go around having sex outside of their marriage aren't usually the type to anonymously "help a brother out".

My own marriage is exact opposite of sexless. And I’m not the least bit miserable. Yes, I am offering you sincere help. That’s the only reason I post.

You are creepy as heck, Angry Sexless Marriage Guy. Happily married people don't post crap like this 20 times a week so I'm calling BS. You need help if you are truly this obsessed with other peoples' sex lives

If this sounds repetitive, it is because 20 times per week some DH posts about his sexless wife. I will stop posting once these husbands stop posting. They come here seeking relationship advice, and I tell them how to fix their sexless marriage. That’s how DCUM is supposed to work.

Also: I’m not angry or sexless.

[Anonymous]

My relationship is awful. He’s now obese. Little sex due to low energy and watching TV. If I could rewind my life I’d be with someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My marriage is at year 14 and it's as bad as it's ever been. Wife resents me for reasons that aren't fair, sex life is gone completely. She is unhappy, end of story, but also recognizes she has it all on paper. So we will probably divorce but no one wants to break up the family. We co-parent peacefully and for now it's fine but not sustainable.
From the outside, people would assume we are that fun, loving couple. It's all a sham.

We were super happy for years and years, until she wasn't and we weren't.

Inform your sexless wife the marriage is open, then make plans (without her) friday night. Join a co-ed volleyball team and go out afterwards for drinks. Accept that DW wants to be your roommate, not your lover. Like you said that is not sustainable for you (a normal man with normal sexual needs). She is probably fine going decades without sex, which means it is entirely on you to fix this. So the only way to avoid "breaking up the family" is for you to go meet your needs elsewhere. Otherwise, 100% certain divorce, and you know I am right.

I see you post here all the time and let me give you real world insight into this: Yes you are right but no its not that simple. I would have zero problem having an affair but it just throws a stick of dynamite into a roaring fire. The marital house is on fire and you are advocating something that will bring in the bulldozer. Sure, if after all efforts we can't get this back running and she really shows no interest in sex, I will divorce or affair, but your solution isn't so easy as you make it sound.

Plus, if you have ever had an affair, which you haven't, you would know there is a real woman on the other side of this, who has her own needs and feelings. I am sure they exist, but most female APs don't want to be pumped and dumped. They want some connection too.

I post all the time because miserable guys like you post all the time and I try to help a brother out. You start by acknowledging I’m right, then you veer off into pointless excuses for not doing the right thing. Yes it IS that easy: just a 20 second conversation is all it takes. Your marriage is already destroyed. And it will fall down in short order all on it’s own. The open marriage solution is the only way to keep the roof from caving in, so you have this all backwards. Why would she care that you have plans Friday nite? Sex is not important to her. She can’t have it both ways.

Plenty of women are down for a sexual relationship with married men. Not sure why you view consensual sex as “pump and dump” because that is an unhealthy perspective.

Guy here: You post all the time because you are frustrated and wish you could declare your own marriage open. If you've got it all figured out, then why are you still trolling around on this board. It's ok if you're just another one of the miserable guys. Guys that go around having sex outside of their marriage aren't usually the type to anonymously "help a brother out".

My own marriage is exact opposite of sexless. And I’m not the least bit miserable. Yes, I am offering you sincere help. That’s the only reason I post.

You are creepy as heck, Angry Sexless Marriage Guy. Happily married people don't post crap like this 20 times a week so I'm calling BS. You need help if you are truly this obsessed with other peoples' sex lives

If this sounds repetitive, it is because 20 times per week some DH posts about his sexless wife. I will stop posting once these husbands stop posting. They come here seeking relationship advice, and I tell them how to fix their sexless marriage. That’s how DCUM is supposed to work.

Also: I’m not angry or sexless.

Sure, sweetie, sure