Families who can afford private but go public, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:, but give me a break. Either you're intentionally creating a false dichotomy or you're not very bright.

Public schools, regardless of their neighborhood, are required to educate every student. Some of us - even those who went to fancy privates, like I did - don't want an environment where a bunch of snooty holier-than-thou elitists pick and choose which families may sit at their table. Elitism is ugly.

Well, when a public school actually does what it’s required to do, call me at my elitist bubble. Because they are not doing what their required to do if they have less than 90% kids achieve grade level in reading, math and science. And how many schools do you know that have 90% kids test on grade level?

I can’t blame the schools for this either. Because you can’t fix the culture or family failures.

I don't know, our school is in the middle of the pack in Fairfax County (Great Schools score of 7) and SOL scores usually hover right around 90%, give or take a few percentages. It's not so rare. We're not even in one of the top pyramids.

+1. And just because I can “afford” $40-50k/year for private, does not mean that I think that’s the best use of the money. I’d rather have extra later for private grad school or a home down payment, for example. If I were SO rich I could afford ALL those things, then yeah, I might do private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:, but give me a break. Either you're intentionally creating a false dichotomy or you're not very bright.

Public schools, regardless of their neighborhood, are required to educate every student. Some of us - even those who went to fancy privates, like I did - don't want an environment where a bunch of snooty holier-than-thou elitists pick and choose which families may sit at their table. Elitism is ugly.

Well, when a public school actually does what it’s required to do, call me at my elitist bubble. Because they are not doing what their required to do if they have less than 90% kids achieve grade level in reading, math and science. And how many schools do you know that have 90% kids test on grade level?

I can’t blame the schools for this either. Because you can’t fix the culture or family failures.

I don't know, our school is in the middle of the pack in Fairfax County (Great Schools score of 7) and SOL scores usually hover right around 90%, give or take a few percentages. It's not so rare. We're not even in one of the top pyramids.

+1. And just because I can “afford” $40-50k/year for private, does not mean that I think that’s the best use of the money. I’d rather have extra later for private grad school or a home down payment, for example. If I were SO rich I could afford ALL those things, then yeah, I might do private school.

What I don’t understand are the people who want private school so badly for their kids that they don’t vacation, don’t save enough for college and don’t fund retirement enough.

I almost drank the private school kool aid but their college admissions aren’t so impressive. If I’m paying 500k for private school, I better get some ROA.

[Anonymous]

I went to private school. The reason I don’t send my kids to private is that you can tell who the smart and dumb kids are
already in 1st or 2nd grade. Over the next eight years, that didn’t change. Everyone learned a lot (well, some more than others) but at graduation, the rank ordering of the kids from smartest to dumbest was virtually unchanged. I had friends in public who started and ended better off than even some of the smartest kids in private. The only difference was that there was a higher proportion of very smart kids in private. But private didn’t make them that way. They would have done equally well in public (that’s my hypothesis anyway). Private school is just a self selection effect. No treatment effect unless you’re coming from a really bad public (like, drugs and constant class disruptions)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to private school. The reason I don’t send my kids to private is that you can tell who the smart and dumb kids are
already in 1st or 2nd grade. Over the next eight years, that didn’t change. Everyone learned a lot (well, some more than others) but at graduation, the rank ordering of the kids from smartest to dumbest was virtually unchanged. I had friends in public who started and ended better off than even some of the smartest kids in private. The only difference was that there was a higher proportion of very smart kids in private. But private didn’t make them that way. They would have done equally well in public (that’s my hypothesis anyway). Private school is just a self selection effect. No treatment effect unless you’re coming from a really bad public (like, drugs and constant class disruptions)

This is 100% true.

[Anonymous]

I’m not a big fan of the “we don’t associate with the lessers” culture of private schools. The elitism I’ve seen in private school parents isn’t something I want to associate with, nor do I want my kids to be indoctrinated into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:, but give me a break. Either you're intentionally creating a false dichotomy or you're not very bright.

Public schools, regardless of their neighborhood, are required to educate every student. Some of us - even those who went to fancy privates, like I did - don't want an environment where a bunch of snooty holier-than-thou elitists pick and choose which families may sit at their table. Elitism is ugly.

Well, when a public school actually does what it’s required to do, call me at my elitist bubble. Because they are not doing what their required to do if they have less than 90% kids achieve grade level in reading, math and science. And how many schools do you know that have 90% kids test on grade level?

I can’t blame the schools for this either. Because you can’t fix the culture or family failures.

Wow.

Wow what? It's true.

You mean, you can’t fix the fact that there are poor brown kids there.

[Anonymous]

I was a partner in Biglaw. I retired early, thank God, because I hated every minute of it.

Virtually every partner I knew sent their kids to top privates, more often than not the ones nauseatingly referred to on this board as the Big 3. There's was no way in hell I was going to risk exposing my kids to my partners' kids and have them turn out equally as clueless and self-possessed, plus I didn't want to risk running into any of them at school events.

And while I don't keep close eyes on my former partners' kids accomplishments, from what I've gathered most of them didn't end up any better off by going private -- same colleges, similar jobs after graduation, etc.

Plus I was able to retire more than a decade early because I didn't mortgage my life on private school tuition!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, if you have the money, why send a kid to McLean if you can buy in the Langley district or afford Potomac, Gonzaga, or some other private that doesn’t cram kids into trailers with 30 kids? FCPS only cares about the extremes - TJ or Title 1. No one else matters.

We live in the Mclean HS area and could easily afford private school but have chosen public instead. Why? Because 1) I went to private from K to 12 and I don’t think I was better prepared for college compared to students from public school. 2) I value diversity and don’t like the idea of sending my kids to a school where many kids are entitled and sheltered from reality.

[Anonymous]

Because more expensive does not necessarily mean better. Duh.
- rich person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because more expensive does not necessarily mean better. Duh.
- rich person

+1 DH is from this area and had 12 years of private school. His cousins went to public. He doesn't think the additional cost got him much and so our kids go to FCPS schools - and not even in a 'desirable' pyramid. For us, our money is better spent/saved elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Thanks for your replies and constructive conversation, all. The social factor (going to school with kids in the neighborhood and being around kids of somewhat different means) was one of our reasons for going public, and I'm heartened to know that was a reason for other families, too.

I didn't realize that science & math was so much better in public schools -- though perhaps people are just referring to TJ? (We are in North Arlington.)

We are in a well regarded FCPS pyramid and our assigned public HS cannot hold a candle to the math and science instruction at our private.

[Anonymous]

We started off at a private, but then switched to our local elementary school. Academically, it is much more rigorous than our private was. Also, I love the sense of community at our public, the choice of enrichment classes, and the warm and welcoming environment.

Ironically, most of our neighbors send their kids to public school as well.

To round things out, my friend who is the lowest earner I know (certainly poor by DCUM standards) and likes to give off an air of "I'm rich" even though she's not, sends her son to private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We started off at a private, but then switched to our local elementary school. Academically, it is much more rigorous than our private was. Also, I love the sense of community at our public, the choice of enrichment classes, and the warm and welcoming environment.

Ironically, most of our neighbors send their kids to public school as well.

To round things out, my friend who is the lowest earner I know (certainly poor by DCUM standards) and likes to give off an air of "I'm rich" even though she's not, sends her son to private.

If that’s how you describe your friends, I’d hate to see you take a sledgehammer to your enemies.

[Anonymous]

I just looked up a local Catholic school that's pretty good by all accounts. It's cheap! and white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started off at a private, but then switched to our local elementary school. Academically, it is much more rigorous than our private was. Also, I love the sense of community at our public, the choice of enrichment classes, and the warm and welcoming environment.

Ironically, most of our neighbors send their kids to public school as well.

To round things out, my friend who is the lowest earner I know (certainly poor by DCUM standards) and likes to give off an air of "I'm rich" even though she's not, sends her son to private.

If that’s how you describe your friends, I’d hate to see you take a sledgehammer to your enemies.

DP. No kidding. Yikes.