Families who can afford private but go public, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A McLean pyramid parent testified that her older goes to private school because McLean high is so crowded. The family moved here years ago for the pyramid.

Testified? What are you even talking about?

DP. It was a speaker testifying at the public hearing on the draft Capital Improvement Plan last night.

She seemed to suggest the overcrowding was a factor, but not the only factor, in their sending their older child to private.

But, yes, FCPS has screwed McLean over for years and some parents have given up on FCPS. There is no amount of money they aren’t willing to spend on infrastructure and pilot programs in the Title I schools, but they cram kids like sardines into other schools like Chantilly and McLean.

[Anonymous]

Good piece on this thread topic in the Post https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2020/01/29/parents-say-they-want-integrated-schools-heres-how-they-can-actually-find-them/

[Anonymous]

^I didn’t think it was that great. Stating the obvious and I disagree about not doing what’s best for your child but best for your community. You can help the community in so many different ways, but still always do what’s best for your child. If the school ain’t up to snuff and you have the means, you move your child. Real change won’t happen before your kid graduates. It’s slow and takes years...

[Anonymous]

having recently moved to the area (central mclean)- we had previously been in private schools and loved it and assumed that we would continue in private schools once we moved here. However, we chose public for the following reasons. 1.) our kids are 10, 12 and we wanted their friend base to be as close as possible. I did not want to negotiate 'play dates" in multiple zip codes. related to this- i want them to be able to walk or ride bikes to friends houses- to have some independence and a sense of community. we have most definitely found this. frankly- we were in a very white bubble in their previous school and we really wanted to get out of that and into a diverse community- our kids are going to school with students from all of the world which has been wonderful. their curriculum and academic rigor is comparable to their previous school. both of my kids have benefitted tremendously from having a much bigger population of kids to negotiate- and have finally really started to find their people in a way that they could not in their private school. we still have some private high school options on the radar- but for now- our move to public school has only stretched and enriched them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:having recently moved to the area (central mclean)- we had previously been in private schools and loved it and assumed that we would continue in private schools once we moved here. However, we chose public for the following reasons. 1.) our kids are 10, 12 and we wanted their friend base to be as close as possible. I did not want to negotiate 'play dates" in multiple zip codes. related to this- i want them to be able to walk or ride bikes to friends houses- to have some independence and a sense of community. we have most definitely found this. frankly- we were in a very white bubble in their previous school and we really wanted to get out of that and into a diverse community- our kids are going to school with students from all of the world which has been wonderful. their curriculum and academic rigor is comparable to their previous school. both of my kids have benefitted tremendously from having a much bigger population of kids to negotiate- and have finally really started to find their people in a way that they could not in their private school. we still have some private high school options on the radar- but for now- our move to public school has only stretched and enriched them.

I gotta say that you have located the most pain-free way for your children to experience diversity by placing them into a school with students from all over the world but of sufficient family income and education level to afford McLean. That is, your "all over the world" version will be more like children of Nigerian surgeons or Bulgarian World Bankers than children of drywall hangers from El Salvador.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your family can afford private school but you opt-in to public school, why?

As you can guess from the question, we can afford private but for a variety of complicated reasons decided to go public. A big one of which was that we went to public school ourselves and turned out fine. I now find myself continually second-guessing myself with a bit of a “grass is greener” perspective. I feel like if I can afford private I should, and that I need to justify the decision to myself to continue to go public.

Would be helpful to hear from other people in a similar situation.

(I hope this question doesn’t come off the wrong way. I know these boards get hella judgy and hopefully you didn’t read the title and get mad thinking someone was judging people who choose to go to public school. I also recognize we are in a good situation to be able to have the choice, and that my consternation about it is a luxury problem.)

Here's my answer and it may be too snobby for this board but this is how I honestly feel. If you are zoned for McLean schools, the academics for your child are going to be superior to most private schools that are feasible for your commute. That is, I wouldn't pull my children from McLean high in favor of area privates. I WOULD do it for Sidwell or St. Albans, that is, area privates that REALLY give you some cachet and plug you into the network of haves. But commuting to these are a pain from McLean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:having recently moved to the area (central mclean)- we had previously been in private schools and loved it and assumed that we would continue in private schools once we moved here. However, we chose public for the following reasons. 1.) our kids are 10, 12 and we wanted their friend base to be as close as possible. I did not want to negotiate 'play dates" in multiple zip codes. related to this- i want them to be able to walk or ride bikes to friends houses- to have some independence and a sense of community. we have most definitely found this. frankly- we were in a very white bubble in their previous school and we really wanted to get out of that and into a diverse community- our kids are going to school with students from all of the world which has been wonderful. their curriculum and academic rigor is comparable to their previous school. both of my kids have benefitted tremendously from having a much bigger population of kids to negotiate- and have finally really started to find their people in a way that they could not in their private school. we still have some private high school options on the radar- but for now- our move to public school has only stretched and enriched them.

I gotta say that you have located the most pain-free way for your children to experience diversity by placing them into a school with students from all over the world but of sufficient family income and education level to afford McLean. That is, your "all over the world" version will be more like children of Nigerian surgeons or Bulgarian World Bankers than children of drywall hangers from El Salvador.

So where are the "painfully" diverse schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:having recently moved to the area (central mclean)- we had previously been in private schools and loved it and assumed that we would continue in private schools once we moved here. However, we chose public for the following reasons. 1.) our kids are 10, 12 and we wanted their friend base to be as close as possible. I did not want to negotiate 'play dates" in multiple zip codes. related to this- i want them to be able to walk or ride bikes to friends houses- to have some independence and a sense of community. we have most definitely found this. frankly- we were in a very white bubble in their previous school and we really wanted to get out of that and into a diverse community- our kids are going to school with students from all of the world which has been wonderful. their curriculum and academic rigor is comparable to their previous school. both of my kids have benefitted tremendously from having a much bigger population of kids to negotiate- and have finally really started to find their people in a way that they could not in their private school. we still have some private high school options on the radar- but for now- our move to public school has only stretched and enriched them.

I gotta say that you have located the most pain-free way for your children to experience diversity by placing them into a school with students from all over the world but of sufficient family income and education level to afford McLean. That is, your "all over the world" version will be more like children of Nigerian surgeons or Bulgarian World Bankers than children of drywall hangers from El Salvador.

So where are the "painfully" diverse schools?

And why would a painful approach be better, other than a feeling of moral superiority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:having recently moved to the area (central mclean)- we had previously been in private schools and loved it and assumed that we would continue in private schools once we moved here. However, we chose public for the following reasons. 1.) our kids are 10, 12 and we wanted their friend base to be as close as possible. I did not want to negotiate 'play dates" in multiple zip codes. related to this- i want them to be able to walk or ride bikes to friends houses- to have some independence and a sense of community. we have most definitely found this. frankly- we were in a very white bubble in their previous school and we really wanted to get out of that and into a diverse community- our kids are going to school with students from all of the world which has been wonderful. their curriculum and academic rigor is comparable to their previous school. both of my kids have benefitted tremendously from having a much bigger population of kids to negotiate- and have finally really started to find their people in a way that they could not in their private school. we still have some private high school options on the radar- but for now- our move to public school has only stretched and enriched them.

I gotta say that you have located the most pain-free way for your children to experience diversity by placing them into a school with students from all over the world but of sufficient family income and education level to afford McLean. That is, your "all over the world" version will be more like children of Nigerian surgeons or Bulgarian World Bankers than children of drywall hangers from El Salvador.

So where are the "painfully" diverse schools?

And why would a painful approach be better, other than a feeling of moral superiority.

Isn’t that what you’re getting now, the moral superiority of attending a racially diverse school, instead a white bubble, but one where everyone is rich so the needs of poor kids don’t compete with those of your privileged kids? Diversity without class diversity isn’t diversity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:having recently moved to the area (central mclean)- we had previously been in private schools and loved it and assumed that we would continue in private schools once we moved here. However, we chose public for the following reasons. 1.) our kids are 10, 12 and we wanted their friend base to be as close as possible. I did not want to negotiate 'play dates" in multiple zip codes. related to this- i want them to be able to walk or ride bikes to friends houses- to have some independence and a sense of community. we have most definitely found this. frankly- we were in a very white bubble in their previous school and we really wanted to get out of that and into a diverse community- our kids are going to school with students from all of the world which has been wonderful. their curriculum and academic rigor is comparable to their previous school. both of my kids have benefitted tremendously from having a much bigger population of kids to negotiate- and have finally really started to find their people in a way that they could not in their private school. we still have some private high school options on the radar- but for now- our move to public school has only stretched and enriched them.

I gotta say that you have located the most pain-free way for your children to experience diversity by placing them into a school with students from all over the world but of sufficient family income and education level to afford McLean. That is, your "all over the world" version will be more like children of Nigerian surgeons or Bulgarian World Bankers than children of drywall hangers from El Salvador.

So where are the "painfully" diverse schools?

And why would a painful approach be better, other than a feeling of moral superiority.

Isn’t that what you’re getting now, the moral superiority of attending a racially diverse school, instead a white bubble, but one where everyone is rich so the needs of poor kids don’t compete with those of your privileged kids? Diversity without class diversity isn’t diversity.

My goodness the guidelines keep changing.

And what do you mean by the needs of the poor competing with the needs of privileged kids? Have any examples?

[Anonymous]

I went to a segregated private school and hated it; I don't want to force my children to go to a private as well.

[Anonymous]

OP, our kids are still ES and nearing MS level, and we feel the public schools in our area (McLean) provide a comparable or better educational and social environment than the private options. Might feel different if our child had exceptional needs on some dimension and we found a private that was geared towards those needs.

TBD on HS, still a few years out... it's possible we'd consider an elite private (Sidwell, etc.), but one of ours likely will be applying to TJ unless their current trend/interests change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:having recently moved to the area (central mclean)- we had previously been in private schools and loved it and assumed that we would continue in private schools once we moved here. However, we chose public for the following reasons. 1.) our kids are 10, 12 and we wanted their friend base to be as close as possible. I did not want to negotiate 'play dates" in multiple zip codes. related to this- i want them to be able to walk or ride bikes to friends houses- to have some independence and a sense of community. we have most definitely found this. frankly- we were in a very white bubble in their previous school and we really wanted to get out of that and into a diverse community- our kids are going to school with students from all of the world which has been wonderful. their curriculum and academic rigor is comparable to their previous school. both of my kids have benefitted tremendously from having a much bigger population of kids to negotiate- and have finally really started to find their people in a way that they could not in their private school. we still have some private high school options on the radar- but for now- our move to public school has only stretched and enriched them.

I gotta say that you have located the most pain-free way for your children to experience diversity by placing them into a school with students from all over the world but of sufficient family income and education level to afford McLean. That is, your "all over the world" version will be more like children of Nigerian surgeons or Bulgarian World Bankers than children of drywall hangers from El Salvador.

So where are the "painfully" diverse schools?

And why would a painful approach be better, other than a feeling of moral superiority.

Isn’t that what you’re getting now, the moral superiority of attending a racially diverse school, instead a white bubble, but one where everyone is rich so the needs of poor kids don’t compete with those of your privileged kids? Diversity without class diversity isn’t diversity.

What a crock of shit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:having recently moved to the area (central mclean)- we had previously been in private schools and loved it and assumed that we would continue in private schools once we moved here. However, we chose public for the following reasons. 1.) our kids are 10, 12 and we wanted their friend base to be as close as possible. I did not want to negotiate 'play dates" in multiple zip codes. related to this- i want them to be able to walk or ride bikes to friends houses- to have some independence and a sense of community. we have most definitely found this. frankly- we were in a very white bubble in their previous school and we really wanted to get out of that and into a diverse community- our kids are going to school with students from all of the world which has been wonderful. their curriculum and academic rigor is comparable to their previous school. both of my kids have benefitted tremendously from having a much bigger population of kids to negotiate- and have finally really started to find their people in a way that they could not in their private school. we still have some private high school options on the radar- but for now- our move to public school has only stretched and enriched them.

I gotta say that you have located the most pain-free way for your children to experience diversity by placing them into a school with students from all over the world but of sufficient family income and education level to afford McLean. That is, your "all over the world" version will be more like children of Nigerian surgeons or Bulgarian World Bankers than children of drywall hangers from El Salvador.

So where are the "painfully" diverse schools?

And why would a painful approach be better, other than a feeling of moral superiority.

Isn’t that what you’re getting now, the moral superiority of attending a racially diverse school, instead a white bubble, but one where everyone is rich so the needs of poor kids don’t compete with those of your privileged kids? Diversity without class diversity isn’t diversity.

What a crock of shit

It’s the truth - no one cares what you look like if your money is green and you have enough of it. It’s not some accident that schools have wildly different FRL rates. It’s because parents who can avoid sending their kids to schools with rates they deem “too high” do so. It’s 2020. It’s about class, not race. And class composition does matter. Any school naturally focuses its efforts on the majority. That’s why majority FRL schools have extensive social services offerings, and why rich ones are focused on college admissions. It’s difficult to do more than a few things well. I’m not telling you anything everyone doesn’t know. Why are you objecting? It’s like saying the sky is blue or that water is wet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:having recently moved to the area (central mclean)- we had previously been in private schools and loved it and assumed that we would continue in private schools once we moved here. However, we chose public for the following reasons. 1.) our kids are 10, 12 and we wanted their friend base to be as close as possible. I did not want to negotiate 'play dates" in multiple zip codes. related to this- i want them to be able to walk or ride bikes to friends houses- to have some independence and a sense of community. we have most definitely found this. frankly- we were in a very white bubble in their previous school and we really wanted to get out of that and into a diverse community- our kids are going to school with students from all of the world which has been wonderful. their curriculum and academic rigor is comparable to their previous school. both of my kids have benefitted tremendously from having a much bigger population of kids to negotiate- and have finally really started to find their people in a way that they could not in their private school. we still have some private high school options on the radar- but for now- our move to public school has only stretched and enriched them.

I gotta say that you have located the most pain-free way for your children to experience diversity by placing them into a school with students from all over the world but of sufficient family income and education level to afford McLean. That is, your "all over the world" version will be more like children of Nigerian surgeons or Bulgarian World Bankers than children of drywall hangers from El Salvador.

So where are the "painfully" diverse schools?

And why would a painful approach be better, other than a feeling of moral superiority.

Isn’t that what you’re getting now, the moral superiority of attending a racially diverse school, instead a white bubble, but one where everyone is rich so the needs of poor kids don’t compete with those of your privileged kids? Diversity without class diversity isn’t diversity.

NP here. We are not white and used to be at a very diverse school with both racial and economic diversity. I can confidently say that the kids who came from the poorest families did not help my child in any way. There was a year when my well behaved was ignored the entire year because of a few kids who just immigrated to the US. I'm fairly certain this one child had never been to school. The teacher had to spend so much time on that one kid and my kid sat at his desk ignored the entire year. I remember being concerned that my child could not read in 1st grade and the teacher and reading specialist said my kid was fine. Sure, he wasn't the worst in the class so he was deemed fine.

We have since moved to a deemed better school district with low FARMS and much racial diversity. Not everyone is rich but very few kids live in poverty. My child has plenty of friends who live in modest homes. These kids do not have unlimited resources but they are not worrying about food on the table. Parents very involved at the school and school has significantly better academic programs. Peer group is night and day.