Families who can afford private but go public, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:- We really want a neighborhood school and school friends who are close by / involved in other nearby activities. This is the most important factor.

- A big diverse school has more opportunities to find your "niche" which helps protect against suicide, drug use, etc.

- Nearby private school options not very impressive.

- I went to private K-12 and saw many weaknesses. Other than my high school being single sex (which was positive) I have little good to say and don't think I got a great education.

+1 to the first three factors

[Anonymous]

Because I can’t stand the elitism associated with the schools. Because I prefer the opportunity to socialize in a larger group of kids. Because the quality of academics is frankly just not that superior. Because I love my kids going to school in their neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

We are turned off by the drug abuse at privates. Also FCPS are better in many aspects. Easy choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would I send my kids to w WCAC school when they aren't Catholic, and can get a better education at several public schools in Arlington and Fairfax.

Fairfax maybe, but not Arlington

Are we talking O’Connell or Paul VI (certainly no better than APS) or Potomac, GDS, St. Albans or Sidwell (clearly superior to any area publics except TJ)?

Not superior to Mclean, Langley, etc. No way.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Thanks for your replies and constructive conversation, all. The social factor (going to school with kids in the neighborhood and being around kids of somewhat different means) was one of our reasons for going public, and I'm heartened to know that was a reason for other families, too.

I didn't realize that science & math was so much better in public schools -- though perhaps people are just referring to TJ? (We are in North Arlington.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Thanks for your replies and constructive conversation, all. The social factor (going to school with kids in the neighborhood and being around kids of somewhat different means) was one of our reasons for going public, and I'm heartened to know that was a reason for other families, too.

I didn't realize that science & math was so much better in public schools -- though perhaps people are just referring to TJ? (We are in North Arlington.)

I expect the people referring to math & science were largely in FCPS. Yes, there is TJ, but there are many other schools where kids didn’t apply to or get into TJ do very well in advanced math & science courses. Not saying that’s not also the case in APS but STEM is more of a buzzword in FCPS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where I’m from private school is for kids who can’t handle public. The stigma it carries is something you can’t over come. You can’t get any job if people know you went to private school. It basically means you don’t have any hope for your child of ever having a career or even going to college. It’s for extremely slow learners and extremely violent children who get kicked out of public.

Couldn’t they just move away from this ridiculous town?

[Anonymous]

Private for 4 years and finally made the switch because....

1. Privates are ill-equipped to help kids at either end of the learning spectrum. They don't have the specialists and resources on staff and smaller class size doesn't matter if one student needs all the attention.

2. Privates are not as good as dealing with bullying issues, especially when it involves big donors, POC, or kids of staff. Public's aren't perfect here either but MUCH better.

3. Kids can walk which makes an environmental impact and saves time too.

4. Neighborhood friends.

5. A lot more rigor, especially if you can get into AAP or TAG, and especially in math. Our privates (we went to four as we moved quite a bit) were almost all a year behind in curriculum.

6. Public schools have better teachers on the whole. Private school teachers tend to be less gifted in classroom management. Though I've seen the reverse too. Just a trend I've noticed.

Do I miss the extras? Beautiful campus, crazy awesome playground, music/art twice a week, language. Yeah, kind of. But they don't add up to more than 1-6 above. Plus, public is free and you automatically become a larger part of your own community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your family can afford private school but you opt-in to public school, why?

As you can guess from the question, we can afford private but for a variety of complicated reasons decided to go public. A big one of which was that we went to public school ourselves and turned out fine. I now find myself continually second-guessing myself with a bit of a “grass is greener” perspective. I feel like if I can afford private I should, and that I need to justify the decision to myself to continue to go public.

Would be helpful to hear from other people in a similar situation.

(I hope this question doesn’t come off the wrong way. I know these boards get hella judgy and hopefully you didn’t read the title and get mad thinking someone was judging people who choose to go to public school. I also recognize we are in a good situation to be able to have the choice, and that my consternation about it is a luxury problem.)

Because I received a good eduction in private school, but I was a bit disconnected from my neighborhood and don’t feel as if we had a home base. Also, private school lack the economic diversity that is helpful in understanding the world.

Usually the people that ask me or tell me that it is a shame I am “forced” to send our children to private school actually went to public school themselves and can now afford private school for their own children.

We carefully chose a home zoned to schools that we felt could academically prepare our children but also had some measure of racial and economic diversity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your family can afford private school but you opt-in to public school, why?

As you can guess from the question, we can afford private but for a variety of complicated reasons decided to go public. A big one of which was that we went to public school ourselves and turned out fine. I now find myself continually second-guessing myself with a bit of a “grass is greener” perspective. I feel like if I can afford private I should, and that I need to justify the decision to myself to continue to go public.

Would be helpful to hear from other people in a similar situation.

(I hope this question doesn’t come off the wrong way. I know these boards get hella judgy and hopefully you didn’t read the title and get mad thinking someone was judging people who choose to go to public school. I also recognize we are in a good situation to be able to have the choice, and that my consternation about it is a luxury problem.)

Because I received a good eduction in private school, but I was a bit disconnected from my neighborhood and don’t feel as if we had a home base. Also, private school lacks the economic diversity that is helpful in understanding the world.

Usually the people that ask me or tell me that it is a shame I am “forced” to send our children to public school actually went to public school themselves and can now afford private school for their own children.

We carefully chose a home zoned to schools that we felt could academically prepare our children but also had some measure of racial and economic diversity.

. Sorry edited above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it made me want to vomit sending my kid to a school that was not available to all. Financial aid only goes so far and all private schools are bubbles. I do have complaints about our public, I know just as many private school friends who’ve had complaints as well and they’re paying $$$. I would rather invest $ snd energy into making public schools better.

Meh. Not all public schools are, either. Like...many of the schools around here are only available to the kids whose parents make really high incomes and can afford to buy a $$$$ house in the school zone. Private has financial aid. There isn’t really financial aid for a mortgage or rent in N Arlington or McLean.

[Anonymous]

I don't want my children surrounded by only rich kids. And while not all the families are snobby or materialistic, far too many are and I don't want my children to think that's normal or okay. While only about 5% of families in our school are like this, it seems like fully half in private are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Thanks for your replies and constructive conversation, all. The social factor (going to school with kids in the neighborhood and being around kids of somewhat different means) was one of our reasons for going public, and I'm heartened to know that was a reason for other families, too.

I didn't realize that science & math was so much better in public schools -- though perhaps people are just referring to TJ? (We are in North Arlington.)

Nothing to do with TJ, better in public schools.

[Anonymous]

The good news is that your child will likely be okay either way, and you can switch along the way if that changes.

For us but you need to understand it's just one data point: We had the same thought for elementary and public middle, but switched to private for high school in part because of how little our child was learning as far as writing and English. So, we made both choices, I suppose.

One of the things I don't see talked about on DCUM much is the writing component of STEM in private at the HS level. My son did well in math at private but struggled with science at first because of the rigorous writing and analysis component of the lab classes in private. My DH and I, who work in STEM, differentiate between science versus math in our comparison. Another factor to consider for us: the local public high school had a greater variety of STEM classes.

Despite what DCUM says, this all varies by specific schools and specific child. I would beware of anyone who says across the board that one is better than the other for your own child. There are plenty of bright STEM kids doing very well in private and plenty of good writers in public. For my kid, the huge class sizes for writing and lack of teacher interaction wasn't working for him for analysis and writing. He was floating along, doing "fine," but not what I would call "fine." But there are plenty of kids who are genuinely "fine" with public writing classes.

The other thing to consider is that admissions at private HS from public can be very difficult, again depending on the child. There were several bright, terrific kids in DS's public 8th grade that didn't get into any private schools. DS was lucky (and there is an element of luck in admissions).

Socially the kids were great at both schools. It was great to have neighborhood friends in public, and it was great to befriend kids from all over in private. I don't buy all these wildly dramatic posters who castigate private or public kids as a group, depending on their bias. That's just a bunch of hyperbolic nonsense.

Good luck. Don't question yourself so much. It will be okay. If your child is thriving, I would stay the course. Just make sure to trust your gut if the school tells you he or she is "fine" but you don't think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it made me want to vomit sending my kid to a school that was not available to all. Financial aid only goes so far and all private schools are bubbles. I do have complaints about our public, I know just as many private school friends who’ve had complaints as well and they’re paying $$$. I would rather invest $ snd energy into making public schools better.

Meh. Not all public schools are, either. Like...many of the schools around here are only available to the kids whose parents make really high incomes and can afford to buy a $$$$ house in the school zone. Private has financial aid. There isn’t really financial aid for a mortgage or rent in N Arlington or McLean.

I laughed at that post too.

I digress, but "everyone can't get it" is a terrible reason to reject something for your child. Every kid can't have a stable home environment and hundreds of books but that's no reason to deprive my own children.

Different schools can be a great fit for the varying personalities and needs of children, and that's wonderful.