Families who can afford private but go public, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The good news is that your child will likely be okay either way, and you can switch along the way if that changes.

For us but you need to understand it's just one data point: We had the same thought for elementary and public middle, but switched to private for high school in part because of how little our child was learning as far as writing and English. So, we made both choices, I suppose.

One of the things I don't see talked about on DCUM much is the writing component of STEM in private at the HS level. My son did well in math at private but struggled with science at first because of the rigorous writing and analysis component of the lab classes in private. My DH and I, who work in STEM, differentiate between science versus math in our comparison. Another factor to consider for us: the local public high school had a greater variety of STEM classes.

Despite what DCUM says, this all varies by specific schools and specific child. I would beware of anyone who says across the board that one is better than the other for your own child. There are plenty of bright STEM kids doing very well in private and plenty of good writers in public. For my kid, the huge class sizes for writing and lack of teacher interaction wasn't working for him for analysis and writing. He was floating along, doing "fine," but not what I would call "fine." But there are plenty of kids who are genuinely "fine" with public writing classes.

The other thing to consider is that admissions at private HS from public can be very difficult, again depending on the child. There were several bright, terrific kids in DS's public 8th grade that didn't get into any private schools. DS was lucky (and there is an element of luck in admissions).

Socially the kids were great at both schools. It was great to have neighborhood friends in public, and it was great to befriend kids from all over in private. I don't buy all these wildly dramatic posters who castigate private or public kids as a group, depending on their bias. That's just a bunch of hyperbolic nonsense.

Good luck. Don't question yourself so much. It will be okay. If your child is thriving, I would stay the course. Just make sure to trust your gut if the school tells you he or she is "fine" but you don't think so.

This, 100%!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would I send my kids to w WCAC school when they aren't Catholic, and can get a better education at several public schools in Arlington and Fairfax.

Fairfax maybe, but not Arlington

Are we talking O’Connell or Paul VI (certainly no better than APS) or Potomac, GDS, St. Albans or Sidwell (clearly superior to any area publics except TJ)?

Not superior to Mclean, Langley, etc. No way.

Langley and Mclean are better than Sidwell?

Ok!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it made me want to vomit sending my kid to a school that was not available to all. Financial aid only goes so far and all private schools are bubbles. I do have complaints about our public, I know just as many private school friends who’ve had complaints as well and they’re paying $$$. I would rather invest $ snd energy into making public schools better.

Meh. Not all public schools are, either. Like...many of the schools around here are only available to the kids whose parents make really high incomes and can afford to buy a $$$$ house in the school zone. Private has financial aid. There isn’t really financial aid for a mortgage or rent in N Arlington or McLean.

I laughed at that post too.

I digress, but "everyone can't get it" is a terrible reason to reject something for your child. Every kid can't have a stable home environment and hundreds of books but that's no reason to deprive my own children.

Different schools can be a great fit for the varying personalities and needs of children, and that's wonderful.

I'm not that poster, but give me a break. Either you're intentionally creating a false dichotomy or you're not very bright.

Public schools, regardless of their neighborhood, are required to educate every student. Some of us - even those who went to fancy privates, like I did - don't want an environment where a bunch of snooty holier-than-thou elitists pick and choose which families may sit at their table. Elitism is ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it made me want to vomit sending my kid to a school that was not available to all. Financial aid only goes so far and all private schools are bubbles. I do have complaints about our public, I know just as many private school friends who’ve had complaints as well and they’re paying $$$. I would rather invest $ snd energy into making public schools better.

Meh. Not all public schools are, either. Like...many of the schools around here are only available to the kids whose parents make really high incomes and can afford to buy a $$$$ house in the school zone. Private has financial aid. There isn’t really financial aid for a mortgage or rent in N Arlington or McLean.

I laughed at that post too.

I digress, but "everyone can't get it" is a terrible reason to reject something for your child. Every kid can't have a stable home environment and hundreds of books but that's no reason to deprive my own children.

Different schools can be a great fit for the varying personalities and needs of children, and that's wonderful.

I'm not that poster, but give me a break. Either you're intentionally creating a false dichotomy or you're not very bright.

Public schools, regardless of their neighborhood, are required to educate every student. Some of us - even those who went to fancy privates, like I did - don't want an environment where a bunch of snooty holier-than-thou elitists pick and choose which families may sit at their table. Elitism is ugly.

Lol! Might I direct you to the Arlington boundary threads? Phrases such as “peer group” or FARMs kids?

[Anonymous]

I'm going to answer before I read the other posts. We did public for elementary and middle school, private for high school.

Why we chose public:
1.) Having chosen a town with a good reputation for schools, we wanted to use them.
2.) We were impressed with the resources. We knew that if any of our kids had needs, they would be met in the building. The local Catholic elementary school doesn't have much in the way of enrichment, music, etc.
3.) Some snobbishness from local Catholic school families.
4.) We liked the energy at the public school. We went to visit and it felt like a great, happy place.

Why we chose private later:
1.) Public system was very large. Wanted a smaller environment.
2.) Some behavior issues at public middle. Would have been the same kids feeding into public high school.
3.) Public school seemed to rest on past laurels and didn't really respond to falling test scores and other issues.

I'm happy we did some of both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:, but give me a break. Either you're intentionally creating a false dichotomy or you're not very bright.

Public schools, regardless of their neighborhood, are required to educate every student. Some of us - even those who went to fancy privates, like I did - don't want an environment where a bunch of snooty holier-than-thou elitists pick and choose which families may sit at their table. Elitism is ugly.

Well, when a public school actually does what it’s required to do, call me at my elitist bubble. Because they are not doing what their required to do if they have less than 90% kids achieve grade level in reading, math and science. And how many schools do you know that have 90% kids test on grade level?

I can’t blame the schools for this either. Because you can’t fix the culture or family failures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The good news is that your child will likely be okay either way, and you can switch along the way if that changes.

For us but you need to understand it's just one data point: We had the same thought for elementary and public middle, but switched to private for high school in part because of how little our child was learning as far as writing and English. So, we made both choices, I suppose.

One of the things I don't see talked about on DCUM much is the writing component of STEM in private at the HS level. My son did well in math at private but struggled with science at first because of the rigorous writing and analysis component of the lab classes in private. My DH and I, who work in STEM, differentiate between science versus math in our comparison. Another factor to consider for us: the local public high school had a greater variety of STEM classes.

Despite what DCUM says, this all varies by specific schools and specific child. I would beware of anyone who says across the board that one is better than the other for your own child. There are plenty of bright STEM kids doing very well in private and plenty of good writers in public. For my kid, the huge class sizes for writing and lack of teacher interaction wasn't working for him for analysis and writing. He was floating along, doing "fine," but not what I would call "fine." But there are plenty of kids who are genuinely "fine" with public writing classes.

The other thing to consider is that admissions at private HS from public can be very difficult, again depending on the child. There were several bright, terrific kids in DS's public 8th grade that didn't get into any private schools. DS was lucky (and there is an element of luck in admissions).

Socially the kids were great at both schools. It was great to have neighborhood friends in public, and it was great to befriend kids from all over in private. I don't buy all these wildly dramatic posters who castigate private or public kids as a group, depending on their bias. That's just a bunch of hyperbolic nonsense.

Good luck. Don't question yourself so much. It will be okay. If your child is thriving, I would stay the course. Just make sure to trust your gut if the school tells you he or she is "fine" but you don't think so.

This, 100%!

I'm the 15:14 poster, but I also agree with this. By middle school, we were hearing a lot of, "They're FINE!" but we saw lots of signs that they were not. And writing instruction was non-existent in public.

[Anonymous]

We toured the privates and weren’t terribly impressed with them. We toured when our HHI was only 500k so back then, it would have taken a big hit to our lifestyle to pay for private school tuition. We now have a seven figure income and can easily afford it but decided to stick with public.

We moved to Mclean for better schools. Our kids have a solid peer group and our AAP center has plenty of academic extracurricular opportunities to keep them challenged. I am all about convenience. I have no desire to drive my kids into DC or MD where the better private schools are located. My kids have play dates often with kids within 1-2 miles of our house. It is easy to carpool and get together last minute.

I don’t want my kids to go to school with only rich kids. I know people think everyone in Langley pyramid is rich but they are not. There are many middle class families who prioritize education to live here.

[Anonymous]

SPORTS in High School is another reason to consider private.

Sure, it is unrealistic for most kids to be awarded sports scholarships to private schools but several of my upper/middle class (federal govt) colleagues have/had kids attending privates in DMV on partial or full scholarships... basketball and football. And several now with full or partial sports scholarships to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:, but give me a break. Either you're intentionally creating a false dichotomy or you're not very bright.

Public schools, regardless of their neighborhood, are required to educate every student. Some of us - even those who went to fancy privates, like I did - don't want an environment where a bunch of snooty holier-than-thou elitists pick and choose which families may sit at their table. Elitism is ugly.

Well, when a public school actually does what it’s required to do, call me at my elitist bubble. Because they are not doing what their required to do if they have less than 90% kids achieve grade level in reading, math and science. And how many schools do you know that have 90% kids test on grade level?

I can’t blame the schools for this either. Because you can’t fix the culture or family failures.

Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:, but give me a break. Either you're intentionally creating a false dichotomy or you're not very bright.

Public schools, regardless of their neighborhood, are required to educate every student. Some of us - even those who went to fancy privates, like I did - don't want an environment where a bunch of snooty holier-than-thou elitists pick and choose which families may sit at their table. Elitism is ugly.

Well, when a public school actually does what it’s required to do, call me at my elitist bubble. Because they are not doing what their required to do if they have less than 90% kids achieve grade level in reading, math and science. And how many schools do you know that have 90% kids test on grade level?

I can’t blame the schools for this either. Because you can’t fix the culture or family failures.

I don't know, our school is in the middle of the pack in Fairfax County (Great Schools score of 7) and SOL scores usually hover right around 90%, give or take a few percentages. It's not so rare. We're not even in one of the top pyramids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:, but give me a break. Either you're intentionally creating a false dichotomy or you're not very bright.

Public schools, regardless of their neighborhood, are required to educate every student. Some of us - even those who went to fancy privates, like I did - don't want an environment where a bunch of snooty holier-than-thou elitists pick and choose which families may sit at their table. Elitism is ugly.

Well, when a public school actually does what it’s required to do, call me at my elitist bubble. Because they are not doing what their required to do if they have less than 90% kids achieve grade level in reading, math and science. And how many schools do you know that have 90% kids test on grade level?

I can’t blame the schools for this either. Because you can’t fix the culture or family failures.

Wow.

Wow what? It's true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it made me want to vomit sending my kid to a school that was not available to all. Financial aid only goes so far and all private schools are bubbles. I do have complaints about our public, I know just as many private school friends who’ve had complaints as well and they’re paying $$$. I would rather invest $ snd energy into making public schools better.

Meh. Not all public schools are, either. Like...many of the schools around here are only available to the kids whose parents make really high incomes and can afford to buy a $$$$ house in the school zone. Private has financial aid. There isn’t really financial aid for a mortgage or rent in N Arlington or McLean.

I laughed at that post too.

I digress, but "everyone can't get it" is a terrible reason to reject something for your child. Every kid can't have a stable home environment and hundreds of books but that's no reason to deprive my own children.

Different schools can be a great fit for the varying personalities and needs of children, and that's wonderful.

I'm not that poster, but give me a break. Either you're intentionally creating a false dichotomy or you're not very bright.

Public schools, regardless of their neighborhood, are required to educate every student. Some of us - even those who went to fancy privates, like I did - don't want an environment where a bunch of snooty holier-than-thou elitists pick and choose which families may sit at their table. Elitism is ugly.

Flint is entitled to public water too. I suppose you think your children would have been fine drinking and bathing in it. Everything publicly funded and government-managed is the same, everywhere. You are so down to earth!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where I’m from private school is for kids who can’t handle public. The stigma it carries is something you can’t over come. You can’t get any job if people know you went to private school. It basically means you don’t have any hope for your child of ever having a career or even going to college. It’s for extremely slow learners and extremely violent children who get kicked out of public.

Oh wow. Hopefully this is not Hyde School...

[Anonymous]

We are immigrants and non-White, non-Christian minority.we felt that the quality of education was not better in private. Everything else that private schools offer did not pertain to us.