Beach Week - Any BTDT parents from the area have advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if, for many kids, the week turns out fine, why foster this? Why foster this indulgence?

I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it.

I'm not sure what you mean by fostering an indulgence. I don't know any parents who encouraged or promoted attendance at beach week. I'd guess that almost all parents would prefer that this tradition not exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MCPS kids go to all the beaches you mentioned.

I allowed my children. They are going off to college in the fall and if they are not ready by beach week, well.

But, big but if they have not shown good judgement before going beach week is not required.

My advice is to drive them down and pick them up. Yes, a pain .But should now no risk to drinking and driving.

I liked them having a house in Rehoboth or Bethany vs Ocean City. Less people to deal with, higher chance they will drink at their place than on the boardwalk.

Send lots of snacks. Parents usually divide up. I felt if mine were going they should go to grocery store and plan themselves.

The need to leave the house they rent in the same condition they found it in or it comes out of their monies.

My kids stayed at their friends parents beach houses or ours so no advice there.

Remind them many times the police are going to issue citations for open alcohol and drinking in public. If they are going to drink need to do it at the house.

This is great advice. You need to know that beach week is a bender. It's drinking drinking drinking. Yes, even your kid. If your kid is experienced with drinking, knows their limits, etc. then it's fine. If your kid doesn't have experience with parties, drunk friends, potentially dangerous situations, etc... it's a no go.

If you kid i an experienced drinker before high school graduation, beach week may be "fine" but you're a failure as a parent. (Yes, I know kids drink, I'm not disputing that. But "experienced drinker" is a whole different category.)

I think you are using the term "experienced drinker" in a different way than PP. I imagine PP means someone who is experienced or knowledgeable enough to know that you should never slam vodka or other hard alcohol, shouldn't drink on an empty stomach, shouldn't leave your friends alone with strangers, etc--basically it boils down to whether your kid has a practical understanding of the effects of alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a participant after junior and senior years of high school. I cannot imagine at this point ever letting my kid go. It was total debauchery. I would definitely never sign a lease and no decent place will rent to beach weekers. We stayed at houses of friends parents. I’m we were basically drunk the entire time and I lost my virginity there.

It would have been so much better if you had just waited 3 months and passed out at a frat party and lost it then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a participant after junior and senior years of high school. I cannot imagine at this point ever letting my kid go. It was total debauchery. I would definitely never sign a lease and no decent place will rent to beach weekers. We stayed at houses of friends parents. I’m we were basically drunk the entire time and I lost my virginity there.

It would have been so much better if you had just waited 3 months and passed out at a frat party and lost it then.

Generally, these days, we call that rape.

[Anonymous]

Beach week for me was in 10th, 11th, and 12th grade in the late 70’s. We rented hotel rooms. We drank a bit, but mostly just had a great time. Males and females came. I am female. Some of the best days of my childhood. But, you have to know your own kid. FTR, I drank more my freshman year of college than I ever did during high school. It’s going to happen.

How lame some parents chaperoned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if, for many kids, the week turns out fine, why foster this? Why foster this indulgence?

I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it.

I'm not sure what you mean by fostering an indulgence. I don't know any parents who encouraged or promoted attendance at beach week. I'd guess that almost all parents would prefer that this tradition not exist.

Parents have the ability to say no. It's an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if, for many kids, the week turns out fine, why foster this? Why foster this indulgence?

I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it.

I'm not sure what you mean by fostering an indulgence. I don't know any parents who encouraged or promoted attendance at beach week. I'd guess that almost all parents would prefer that this tradition not exist.

Parents have the ability to say no. It's an option.

Of course. But you (?) used the term “foster” which makes little sense. Perhaps you meant “permit” or something similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a participant after junior and senior years of high school. I cannot imagine at this point ever letting my kid go. It was total debauchery. I would definitely never sign a lease and no decent place will rent to beach weekers. We stayed at houses of friends parents. I’m we were basically drunk the entire time and I lost my virginity there.

It would have been so much better if you had just waited 3 months and passed out at a frat party and lost it then.

Generally, these days, we call that rape.

These days? There was no rape Or sexual assault back in the day. LOL

Passing out will always mean a guy will find you and take you? You are nuts lady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if, for many kids, the week turns out fine, why foster this? Why foster this indulgence?

I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it.

I'm not sure what you mean by fostering an indulgence. I don't know any parents who encouraged or promoted attendance at beach week. I'd guess that almost all parents would prefer that this tradition not exist.

Parents have the ability to say no. It's an option.

Of course. But you (?) used the term “foster” which makes little sense. Perhaps you meant “permit” or something similar.

I'm not the original PP. I'm the one who wrote, "I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it."

We didn't allow either of our kids to go to beach week, because it's a terrible idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if, for many kids, the week turns out fine, why foster this? Why foster this indulgence?

I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it.

I'm not sure what you mean by fostering an indulgence. I don't know any parents who encouraged or promoted attendance at beach week. I'd guess that almost all parents would prefer that this tradition not exist.

Parents have the ability to say no. It's an option.

Of course. But you (?) used the term “foster” which makes little sense. Perhaps you meant “permit” or something similar.

I'm not the original PP. I'm the one who wrote, "I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it."

We didn't allow either of our kids to go to beach week, because it's a terrible idea.

That’s what I would have said if you’d asked me about it when my kids were in MS or younger—both that it’s a terrible idea and that we wouldn’t allow our kids to do it.

But what we now realize is that beach week is what you make of it. My non-partying daughter and her non-partying friends saw their classmates on the beach during the day when most everyone is sober, and then went to movies and out to eat or took turns making dinner at their house. My son who occasionally went to parties in HS and has tons of friends had a fantastic experience playing sports, hanging out on the beach, and going to other friends’ houses at night. There was definitely some drinking in his group, but no drugs, hookups or other risky behaviors. It was all vastly tamer than what you hear about re similar trips in the 79s and 80s. We have no regrets about letting them go, but never would have permitted it if they didn’t have a track record of being very responsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if, for many kids, the week turns out fine, why foster this? Why foster this indulgence?

I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it.

I'm not sure what you mean by fostering an indulgence. I don't know any parents who encouraged or promoted attendance at beach week. I'd guess that almost all parents would prefer that this tradition not exist.

Parents have the ability to say no. It's an option.

Of course. But you (?) used the term “foster” which makes little sense. Perhaps you meant “permit” or something similar.

I'm not the original PP. I'm the one who wrote, "I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it."

We didn't allow either of our kids to go to beach week, because it's a terrible idea.

That’s what I would have said if you’d asked me about it when my kids were in MS or younger—both that it’s a terrible idea and that we wouldn’t allow our kids to do it.

But what we now realize is that beach week is what you make of it. My non-partying daughter and her non-partying friends saw their classmates on the beach during the day when most everyone is sober, and then went to movies and out to eat or took turns making dinner at their house. My son who occasionally went to parties in HS and has tons of friends had a fantastic experience playing sports, hanging out on the beach, and going to other friends’ houses at night. There was definitely some drinking in his group, but no drugs, hookups or other risky behaviors. It was all vastly tamer than what you hear about re similar trips in the 79s and 80s. We have no regrets about letting them go, but never would have permitted it if they didn’t have a track record of being very responsible.

But really would you know if those things had happened?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if, for many kids, the week turns out fine, why foster this? Why foster this indulgence?

I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it.

I'm not sure what you mean by fostering an indulgence. I don't know any parents who encouraged or promoted attendance at beach week. I'd guess that almost all parents would prefer that this tradition not exist.

Parents have the ability to say no. It's an option.

Of course. But you (?) used the term “foster” which makes little sense. Perhaps you meant “permit” or something similar.

I'm not the original PP. I'm the one who wrote, "I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it."

We didn't allow either of our kids to go to beach week, because it's a terrible idea.

That’s what I would have said if you’d asked me about it when my kids were in MS or younger—both that it’s a terrible idea and that we wouldn’t allow our kids to do it.

But what we now realize is that beach week is what you make of it. My non-partying daughter and her non-partying friends saw their classmates on the beach during the day when most everyone is sober, and then went to movies and out to eat or took turns making dinner at their house. My son who occasionally went to parties in HS and has tons of friends had a fantastic experience playing sports, hanging out on the beach, and going to other friends’ houses at night. There was definitely some drinking in his group, but no drugs, hookups or other risky behaviors. It was all vastly tamer than what you hear about re similar trips in the 79s and 80s. We have no regrets about letting them go, but never would have permitted it if they didn’t have a track record of being very responsible.

But really would you know if those things had happened?

For my kid and his immediate housemates, yes. He’s a completely open book. I’m certainly not claiming that the whole event was debauchery-free though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MCPS kids go to all the beaches you mentioned.

I allowed my children. They are going off to college in the fall and if they are not ready by beach week, well.

But, big but if they have not shown good judgement before going beach week is not required.

My advice is to drive them down and pick them up. Yes, a pain .But should now no risk to drinking and driving.

I liked them having a house in Rehoboth or Bethany vs Ocean City. Less people to deal with, higher chance they will drink at their place than on the boardwalk.

Send lots of snacks. Parents usually divide up. I felt if mine were going they should go to grocery store and plan themselves.

The need to leave the house they rent in the same condition they found it in or it comes out of their monies.

My kids stayed at their friends parents beach houses or ours so no advice there.

Remind them many times the police are going to issue citations for open alcohol and drinking in public. If they are going to drink need to do it at the house.

I hope renters are transparent that there is a group of teenagers staying alone in the house. We rent our place to people only 25 year plus

[Anonymous]

I went after HS graduation in the late 1990s and it was in no way scandalous because nothing I did as a teenager was or would have been scandalous. Plus, these kids are going to College soon afterward, where there is drinking and drinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even if, for many kids, the week turns out fine, why foster this? Why foster this indulgence?

I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it.

I'm not sure what you mean by fostering an indulgence. I don't know any parents who encouraged or promoted attendance at beach week. I'd guess that almost all parents would prefer that this tradition not exist.

Parents have the ability to say no. It's an option.

Of course. But you (?) used the term “foster” which makes little sense. Perhaps you meant “permit” or something similar.

I'm not the original PP. I'm the one who wrote, "I agree. It’s just a terrible idea all around and I don’t know why anyone would indulge it."

We didn't allow either of our kids to go to beach week, because it's a terrible idea.

That’s what I would have said if you’d asked me about it when my kids were in MS or younger—both that it’s a terrible idea and that we wouldn’t allow our kids to do it.

But what we now realize is that beach week is what you make of it. My non-partying daughter and her non-partying friends saw their classmates on the beach during the day when most everyone is sober, and then went to movies and out to eat or took turns making dinner at their house. My son who occasionally went to parties in HS and has tons of friends had a fantastic experience playing sports, hanging out on the beach, and going to other friends’ houses at night. There was definitely some drinking in his group, but no drugs, hookups or other risky behaviors. It was all vastly tamer than what you hear about re similar trips in the 79s and 80s. We have no regrets about letting them go, but never would have permitted it if they didn’t have a track record of being very responsible.

Unless you were there, you have no clue what happened. Kids tell you their version.

I certainly didn’t tell my parents what I did or what I observed or what my friends did.

I went to beach week JR and SR year. Had a blast! Didn’t do anything too risky, but some friends did. All in all, everyone survived.