Husband of 11 years suddenly watching porn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All men watch some porn. Honestly I thought most women do too.

Woman here. I used to, but porn has become way too perverted these days. I know this may sound odd, but I’ve noticed a change in the content, and it’s a turnoff.

It’s not odd, it’s real. And it’s a problem. Porn is so readily available on smartphones, that men viewing it get used to the soft stuff and need porn that is more and more perverse to have a reaction. And porn producers are supplying it. https://amgreatness.com/2019/12/15/a-science-based-case-for-ending-the-porn-epidemic/

I went to a porn site and clicked on “most popular”. I was disgusted to see a lot of it was incest/step child. It’s horrible.

For the record, it’s almost always not incest/stepchild but rather themed that way and commonly produced by mainstream porn studios. I really find it disturbing and insensitive to real life victims of such abuse, and I’m surprised by how much of it out there, especially at tube sites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All men watch some porn. Honestly I thought most women do too.

Woman here. I used to, but porn has become way too perverted these days. I know this may sound odd, but I’ve noticed a change in the content, and it’s a turnoff.

It’s not odd, it’s real. And it’s a problem. Porn is so readily available on smartphones, that men viewing it get used to the soft stuff and need porn that is more and more perverse to have a reaction. And porn producers are supplying it. https://amgreatness.com/2019/12/15/a-science-based-case-for-ending-the-porn-epidemic/

Interesting article. I have not read scientific data behind porn addiction and this article is a good review.

People may have trouble with pornography, but it's not an "addiction." A 2015 study published in Biological Psychology shows that porn doesn't affect the brain in the same way that addictive substances to, prompting the author to state: "While we do not doubt that some people struggle with their sexual behaviors, these data show that the nature of the problem is unlikely to be addictive.”

Another sex researcher suggested, "In light of such findings, it would seem advisable to drop the “addiction” label when talking about people who are having issues regulating their porn use because it does not appear to be accurate. Ultimately, this terminology change may be helpful to patients with such problems who are seeking help because if treated through the lens of an addiction model, the therapy may not have the desired effect and could potentially be harmful to the extent that it gives patients false hope."

See: https://www.lehmiller.com/blog/2015/7/10/why-we-should-stop-calling-porn-addiction-an-addiction

[Anonymous]

^ thanks for providing the link. I don’t know enough about addiction pathways to know whether there are multiple addiction pathways or just the one mentioned in the article.

Honestly, I’m not that interested in the sex addiction label but more interested in the changes that habitual use of pornography can induce. I think there are biological and potentially behavioral (expectation of porn type sex in a relationship) implications.

Also, previous link included links to multiple studies and so can be considered a review whereas the Lehmiller link only includes one article. I’ve not previously liked much of lehmiller’s posts on his blog. I don’t find it to be very informative but that’s just a single person’s perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please please list some female friendly porn sites that won’t infect my phone or iPad? Asking for a friend.

Thanks.

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone please please list some female friendly porn sites that won’t infect my phone or iPad? Asking for a friend.

Thanks.

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just google 'porn for women'. This is not hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ thanks for providing the link. I don’t know enough about addiction pathways to know whether there are multiple addiction pathways or just the one mentioned in the article.

Honestly, I’m not that interested in the sex addiction label but more interested in the changes that habitual use of pornography can induce. I think there are biological and potentially behavioral (expectation of porn type sex in a relationship) implications.

Also, previous link included links to multiple studies and so can be considered a review whereas the Lehmiller link only includes one article. I’ve not previously liked much of lehmiller’s posts on his blog. I don’t find it to be very informative but that’s just a single person’s perspective.

I think that's fair. I get a little chippy when "addiction" gets thrown around. Some people use the term in good faith. But in the porn context, it's been polluted by moral scolds who don't really care about whether it's addiction or not; they like that it's a scary term that will make people more reluctant to use term. It's a fear-based argument masquerading as science. (I don't at all think that's where you're coming from, PP.)

I always wonder what "porn-type sex" means to various people. For me, it's not that my partner is some kind of zero body fat, surgically enhanced model or engaging in improbable acrobatics. It's the unabashed enthusiasm for sex that I find attractive.

[Anonymous]

^ I think porn type sex could mean something as simple as showing enthusiasm in a way that might be different than how your partner shows it to sex acts that sometimes may not realistic as shown in the clips.

The prior article also indicated that not all people would become “addicted” but some may be more prone to it. I can believe that and is important to understand if true. More importantly, how does this impact teens who are maturing and watching porn during these formative years? Is their view of what sex should be like based on porn? If so, that would be unhealthy. Just some quick thoughts based on what was in the article.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ thanks for providing the link. I don’t know enough about addiction pathways to know whether there are multiple addiction pathways or just the one mentioned in the article.

Honestly, I’m not that interested in the sex addiction label but more interested in the changes that habitual use of pornography can induce. I think there are biological and potentially behavioral (expectation of porn type sex in a relationship) implications.

Also, previous link included links to multiple studies and so can be considered a review whereas the Lehmiller link only includes one article. I’ve not previously liked much of lehmiller’s posts on his blog. I don’t find it to be very informative but that’s just a single person’s perspective.

I think you just want to believe what you want to believe.

[Anonymous]

Jeesh, just google “hot sex with husband” from Pornhub and are what happens. Maybe that will get your mojo going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ thanks for providing the link. I don’t know enough about addiction pathways to know whether there are multiple addiction pathways or just the one mentioned in the article.

Honestly, I’m not that interested in the sex addiction label but more interested in the changes that habitual use of pornography can induce. I think there are biological and potentially behavioral (expectation of porn type sex in a relationship) implications.

Also, previous link included links to multiple studies and so can be considered a review whereas the Lehmiller link only includes one article. I’ve not previously liked much of lehmiller’s posts on his blog. I don’t find it to be very informative but that’s just a single person’s perspective.

I think you just want to believe what you want to believe.

No I think you want to believe what you want to believe. I just told you my rationale that there seems to be more data supporting that there are changes to watch out for. What data have you provided?