Husband of 11 years suddenly watching porn

[Anonymous]

So? Next thing you are going to ask is if he dreams about other women (ofcourse he does) and then act all upset when he lies. He eats, he sleeps, he watches porn. Why ask something even I know he does.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t watch porn during our relationship until our sex life collapsed. I understand 2 kids and working. But she made time to go out with friends and not me. Otherwise marriage was good. I filled gap with porn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t watch porn during our relationship until our sex life collapsed. I understand 2 kids and working. But she made time to go out with friends and not me. Otherwise marriage was good. I filled gap with porn.

OP here.

We have sex anytime that he wants to. I am up later than him because our baby has a crazy schedule right now and he uses him being tired as an excuse to not have sex lately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Been there. I felt like I was missing something from DW. Porn was a weak substitute.

Did you end up divorcing or cheating?

[Anonymous]

It's not a problem IMO unless it starts to impact you sex life. If you have sex on a regular basis (whatever that means to you - frequency varies) you are fine. If there's a change then its worth discussing.

[Anonymous]

Woman here. I do not watch porn. Ever. It makes me uncomfortable, and yes, DH and I have avery healthy and satisfying sex life. After reading the responses, I asked my DH if he ever watched porn, and he said no. I believe him. We have an open, honest, healthy relationship. Not judging those who do watch/like it, just correcting the posters who believe that everybody does ir.

[Anonymous]

There are 2 types of men - those who watch porn, and those who lie about not watching porn.

Why don't you guys watch together? There is plenty of good stuff out there, fantasies can help enliven the bedroom life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t watch porn during our relationship until our sex life collapsed. I understand 2 kids and working. But she made time to go out with friends and not me. Otherwise marriage was good. I filled gap with porn.

OP here.

We have sex anytime that he wants to. I am up later than him because our baby has a crazy schedule right now and he uses him being tired as an excuse to not have sex lately.

So, that's interesting ... you aren't having much sex?

[Anonymous]

Nearly every single man watches porn. Most women do too--or do some equivalent activity (I write smut, just for myself). As long as it isn't taking away from your sex life, I don't see it as a problem. There shouldn't be an expectation that 100% of your sexual thoughts should be about your spouse all the time. We are allowed to have other outlets, so long as your spouse is ok with them.

Now, you say you aren't having as much sex. Do you think that's because of the porn watching?

[Anonymous]

"Suddenly"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t watch porn during our relationship until our sex life collapsed. I understand 2 kids and working. But she made time to go out with friends and not me. Otherwise marriage was good. I filled gap with porn.

OP here.

We have sex anytime that he wants to. I am up later than him because our baby has a crazy schedule right now and he uses him being tired as an excuse to not have sex lately.

It's normal, OP. I'm a guy. Watched some when single; stopped after marriage, and restarted here and there after kids. We're so tired. Wife was with the baby, busy and tired herself. It's hard to find a good time for sex, so sometimes I just took care of myself.

He lied because of his previous attitude about it. Nothing to be ashamed of. People do it all the times. Just don't get addicted. Then you have a problem.
Let him be. Focus on other aspects of marriage besides just kids.

[Anonymous]

Husband needs to learn about private browsing. Non-issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All men watch some porn. Honestly I thought most women do too.

Woman here. I used to, but porn has become way too perverted these days. I know this may sound odd, but I’ve noticed a change in the content, and it’s a turnoff.

Find female-oriented sites. There are more nowadays because of this exact reason.

OP, I'd only be worried if it was extreme stuff because then that causes your real sex life to suffer. It is pretty normal for guys to watch it and it could be good if used as fuel for your fire. However, it can easily become a problem. And make sure to tell him the "moves" that men use in porn are not actually what women like. I had a partner with a porn problem and he was terrible in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woman here. I do not watch porn. Ever. It makes me uncomfortable, and yes, DH and I have avery healthy and satisfying sex life. After reading the responses, I asked my DH if he ever watched porn, and he said no. I believe him. We have an open, honest, healthy relationship. Not judging those who do watch/like it, just correcting the posters who believe that everybody does ir.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are 2 types of men - those who watch porn, and those who lie about not watching porn.

Why don't you guys watch together? There is plenty of good stuff out there, fantasies can help enliven the bedroom life.

And that's why they are so bad in bed.