26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates
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Anonymous
It literally says gift in the thread title. OP is clearly referring to physical gifts. |
Anonymous
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Next year way in advance of Christmas you talk to your DH and remind him that his son is now 27 - not 7 - and he no longer needs a big carnival Christmas. Ask your DH if he at that age was expecting that kind of show from his parents. Don’t say it meanly.
Then suggest smaller token type gifts that you all can exchange with him. Like candy or small gift cards. Just 2 gifts or so. Then also suggest that at 27 he should be buying for his grandparents a small token gift as well since it’s the right thing for an adult to do. As far as the girlfriend, she might genuinely not know. I didn’t know what a hostess gift was until we’ll into college bc my parents didn’t entertain or even go out much so I never knew of the practice. A friend had to tell me about it in college so it’s entirely possible she doesn’t know to bring gifts. |
Anonymous
Yes. The way children learn to buy gifts for others is that someone takes them shopping to do it. No one cared enough to do that for this boys (and you would have been the perfect person, OP, since you place such high value on receiving yourself) and probably even at some point told him "not to worry about it" so they/he wouldn't feel bad. Also, it's clear how much you dislike him from your post, so it must be apparent to everyone else as well. That is probably why your DH is so resistant to your feedback about him...he's not sure what the motivation is. Anyway, as others have said if you can't get over it then next year do a name swap or something. |
Anonymous
Then don't quote two comments that DON'T refer to gifts. |
Anonymous
OK stepMonster (as my dear friend called her stepMumsy), take a breath, have a drink. It’s obvious you are a shi$stirrer. Own it. |
Anonymous
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Every family does gifts differently, so I’m not going to engage in the “well, this is how WE do it” crap. But OP’s family all seem to find it weird that this man-child doesn’t bring gifts. For some reason, nobody ever taught him about the expectation of gift-giving in THIS family. His sister got the message. He’s probably just very self-absorbed and didn’t get the hint. He needs a blatant talk. I don’t agree with how and when OP did it. A pre-Christmas talk from his father would’ve been more appropriate. But it’s done now. See how it goes next year.
Now, he IS a adult and is also free to decide he just doesn’t want to join in this family’s style of gift giving. He may be thinking like many if you, that he shouldn’t have to buy for older relatives, even parents. He’s free to make that decision and his relatives are free to adjust their gift-giving accordingly, or not. Personally I would buy my adult child one gift only, and I absolutely would tell them “Come help me in the kitchen” when I need help. |
Anonymous
It's weird unless he is raised you. |
Anonymous
No, we don't know that. So you just judged the SM by attributing all kinds of actions/emotions to her without knowing background FACTS. Maybe you are also a stepchild and are projecting. |
Anonymous
Except she is not an expert on correct behavior, she was actually very rude. She needs to learn her.place. |
Anonymous
| StepMom keeps posting and opining on this thread. What a grinch. |
Anonymous
| Seriously, you guys don’t think this is a troll? |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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You live in his house not the other way around.
No wonder he moved back into his moms house. |
Anonymous
No. Step moms are the worst. They are interlopers on a family units trying to put their options all over a family event. She is not related to anybody in the story, she is the outsider. |
Anonymous
I don’t. My mom is exactly like this. My step brother and sisters can’t stand her. |