26 year old step son happily receives Christmas gifts but NEVER reciprocates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As step-mom, it’s not your place to say anything, especially if you never provided him parental care as a child. MYOB.

B.S. If someone came up to her DH in a store and intentionally hit him with a cart, should she stand off to the side and say nothing? If someone hurts someone I love, I got their back. Watching this selfish guy treat his father, sister and grandparents with disdain is hurtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is the chalk line that infers it's not the OP'S place??? Since this young adult is of age to lead his own life he can also be addressed about his poor manners. Yes , adults DO still openly correct social faux pas that deserve a reset. This young man needs to hear it from someone!

Op ...as an adult myself...please do society a favor and correct this young man on his thoughtlessness.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP I would definitely stop buying presents for the girlfriend. If she doesn't bring anything then just stop. Or if you feel that's too rude, keep it at a small box of chocolates and that's it.

As for her not helping to cook or clean, she probably doesn't feel that it's her place to do so.

As for the SS I would stop buying him presents, his dad and grandparents can give him something if they want to go out and buy it but if I were you, I wouldn't lift a finger for him.

Stop with the passive aggressive remarks. You don't like him but you don't need to make it obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As step-mom, it’s not your place to say anything, especially if you never provided him parental care as a child. MYOB.

B.S. If someone came up to her DH in a store and intentionally hit him with a cart, should she stand off to the side and say nothing? If someone hurts someone I love, I got their back. Watching this selfish guy treat his father, sister and grandparents with disdain is hurtful.

What some of you people don't seem to get is that NOT ALL ADULTS BUY OTHER GROWN-ASS ADULTS PRESENTS FOR CHRISTMAS. If you want to get other adults presents for Christmas, do so, and enjoy. Some of us don't feel like celebrating a religious holiday with secular materialism. Some of us think the Santa side of Christmas really is just for kids, too.

I'll really blow your mind when I let you in on the secret that some of us also think celebrating non-milestone birthdays with lots of gifts, cakes, parties, etc. past the age of about 25 or so is also moronic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is insane.

+1

My thought with every response. All the sexism (why didn’t the girlfriend guide him? Girlfriend doesn’t feel comfortable joining in the kitchen yet). Not to mention all the wasteful consumerism...just buy a whole bunch of crap from CVS that will sit in a landfill for 200 years.

OP, you were incredibly rude to your SS at Christmas. Stay in your lane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is the chalk line that infers it's not the OP'S place??? Since this young adult is of age to lead his own life he can also be addressed about his poor manners. Yes , adults DO still openly correct social faux pas that deserve a reset. This young man needs to hear it from someone!

Op ...as an adult myself...please do society a favor and correct this young man on his thoughtlessness.

Agree! Well done, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I would definitely stop buying presents for the girlfriend. If she doesn't bring anything then just stop. Or if you feel that's too rude, keep it at a small box of chocolates and that's it.

As for her not helping to cook or clean, she probably doesn't feel that it's her place to do so.

As for the SS I would stop buying him presents, his dad and grandparents can give him something if they want to go out and buy it but if I were you, I wouldn't lift a finger for him.

Stop with the passive aggressive remarks. You don't like him but you don't need to make it obvious.

But girlfriend has lady parts...shouldn’t she be in the kitchen with the rest of the women folk?

[Anonymous]

It is obvious you don’t care for him and like to sow discord.

You could handle this at any time before arrival in a kind and subtle way.

Instead you set a trap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get your point, but you went about it the wrong way. Rather than saying something to him in advance of the get-together so he would have an opportunity to go buy something and try to do it right, you set him up by waiting until the event and then shaming him for it when he has no opportunity left to course-correct. You weren’t looking to get a different outcome this year, you just wanted to make him feel like shit. And now that’s what he thinks you are. Congrats.

+1. Discord was the goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is obvious you don’t care for him and like to sow discord.

You could handle this at any time before arrival in a kind and subtle way.

Instead you set a trap.

Agree with this and the post just below saying the same thing. What. A. Bitch you are, OP. Happy holidays, indeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As step-mom, it’s not your place to say anything, especially if you never provided him parental care as a child. MYOB.

B.S. If someone came up to her DH in a store and intentionally hit him with a cart, should she stand off to the side and say nothing? If someone hurts someone I love, I got their back. Watching this selfish guy treat his father, sister and grandparents with disdain is hurtful.

What some of you people don't seem to get is that NOT ALL ADULTS BUY OTHER GROWN-ASS ADULTS PRESENTS FOR CHRISTMAS. If you want to get other adults presents for Christmas, do so, and enjoy. Some of us don't feel like celebrating a religious holiday with secular materialism. Some of us think the Santa side of Christmas really is just for kids, too.

I'll really blow your mind when I let you in on the secret that some of us also think celebrating non-milestone birthdays with lots of gifts, cakes, parties, etc. past the age of about 25 or so is also moronic.

Where did EITHER of these comments mention GIFTS? So jump off your soap box. The whole point is SS is being hurtful to his family. He doesn't have to buy stuff - even if he told grandparents he was taking them out for a movie or for a walk in a park as a gift, they'd be thrilled.

[Anonymous]

It’s great you told him but don’t be angry!

Young adults sometimes do this when they feel like the babies of their families. My cousin and I did this with our aunts and uncles during our 20s, because they treated us like babies.

We woke up at some point

[Anonymous]

It’s flat out weird to expect the girlfriend to do more than the guy. When I was dating I took my cues from my boyfriend - if he wasn’t helping I sure wasn’t going to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s pretty clear that you don’t like him. That said, I agree with you, not about gifts, but about chipping in as a family member. Clean up, bring flowers, etc. how long have you been his stepmom? Did you teach him any of this?

Yes, this would be the issue for me. I don’t expect 20somethings to buy gifts. But I knew from the time I was small to contribute in whatever way I could. Clearing and cleaning to start, later baking something for the family to enjoy. That said, my brothers were never taught this, and remain spoiled rotten much farther into adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As step-mom, it’s not your place to say anything, especially if you never provided him parental care as a child. MYOB.

B.S. If someone came up to her DH in a store and intentionally hit him with a cart, should she stand off to the side and say nothing? If someone hurts someone I love, I got their back. Watching this selfish guy treat his father, sister and grandparents with disdain is hurtful.

What some of you people don't seem to get is that NOT ALL ADULTS BUY OTHER GROWN-ASS ADULTS PRESENTS FOR CHRISTMAS. If you want to get other adults presents for Christmas, do so, and enjoy. Some of us don't feel like celebrating a religious holiday with secular materialism. Some of us think the Santa side of Christmas really is just for kids, too.

I'll really blow your mind when I let you in on the secret that some of us also think celebrating non-milestone birthdays with lots of gifts, cakes, parties, etc. past the age of about 25 or so is also moronic.

Where did EITHER of these comments mention GIFTS? So jump off your soap box. The whole point is SS is being hurtful to his family. He doesn't have to buy stuff - even if he told grandparents he was taking them out for a movie or for a walk in a park as a gift, they'd be thrilled.

We don’t know that Dad or grandparents care. They may be thrilled that grandson calls every week. Or they may know what he was like when he was young and are thrilled at how much he has improved.

All we know is that step-mom is judgy, doesn’t like the son, and wants to start conflict.