Boyfriend Wants To Stop..

[Anonymous]

We are married and have been together for 5 years and still use them. We absolutely don’t want kids and it’s an acceptable way to double-stitch not getting pregnant (I’m also on BC). Neither of us are really keen on surgery right now. I also hate the leakage afterward without them. It’s personal preference and it works for us.

[Anonymous]

When you are married~

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have an IUD then the only concern is STDs. Both of you should get tested and then lose the condoms.

If you like 2 methods to feel safer, he can pull out.

(I'm a woman, BTW.)

I agree with this.

/also a woman

3rd and also a woman. IUD and withdrawal is good enough. Once you’re in your 30s, it’s not as easy to get pregnant as you think!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think both an IUD and condoms is a bit of an overkill. I understand using condoms if you're just hooking up and not really sure if he is sleeping with anyone else. But if you are both committed I don't really see a reason to use both.

People get pregnant even with IUDs. A condom or some other barrier is a good backup. OP is smart to protect herself. It’s only been six months. A whoops baby is for life and even when couples agree on an abortion, there’s often emotional fall out and hidden resentments that later surface.

+1 I had an anti-abortion boyfriend and I was pro-choice. I would personally never get an abortion, but a pregnancy scare made this guy I had been dating exclusively for 9 months tell me I had to get an abortion. That was the last time I had sex with him, even though I was not pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have an IUD then the only concern is STDs. Both of you should get tested and then lose the condoms.

If you like 2 methods to feel safer, he can pull out.

(I'm a woman, BTW.)

I agree with this.

/also a woman

3rd and also a woman. IUD and withdrawal is good enough. Once you’re in your 30s, it’s not as easy to get pregnant as you think!

Plenty of 30 something year old women have proven that to be false. If you are struggling to get pregnant in your 30s, chances are you would have struggled in your 20's. I got pregnant easily twice in my 30's ( 37 and 39) and have about a dozen of family/friends who have done the same. Sure, there is the potential for fertility issues when you get older and the chances of getting pregnant do decrease with age, but most fertility issues have likely been present well before you hit your 30's. Two of the women I know with fertility struggles were in their 20's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are dating for marriage and plan to get engaged at some point. He is the one already bringing up getting engaged, but I want to wait until the 1 year mark to get engaged. Nothing to do with him - it's me.

We have both been STD tested. He has not been pressuring me. He brought it up once and would be fine continuing to use condoms. I was curious when others have stopped.

I know I'm in my 30's ( 31) but I still want to wait until I'm around 33/34 to start trying. We both want 2 kids.

Honestly I would not wait that long. I'm 34, very fertile and I dread the thought of another pregnancy at 36-37. The younger you are the easier it is. If I have it my way I wouldn't be having #2 and #3 this old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are dating for marriage and plan to get engaged at some point. He is the one already bringing up getting engaged, but I want to wait until the 1 year mark to get engaged. Nothing to do with him - it's me.

We have both been STD tested. He has not been pressuring me. He brought it up once and would be fine continuing to use condoms. I was curious when others have stopped.

I know I'm in my 30's ( 31) but I still want to wait until I'm around 33/34 to start trying. We both want 2 kids.

Honestly I would not wait that long. I'm 34, very fertile and I dread the thought of another pregnancy at 36-37. The younger you are the easier it is. If I have it my way I wouldn't be having #2 and #3 this old.

OP here. I know what I want and I prefer kids later. I was a professional nanny for 10 years working with kids from infancy through school age. It was great but very hard work. I want to be 100% ready for children before I have them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have an IUD then the only concern is STDs. Both of you should get tested and then lose the condoms.

If you like 2 methods to feel safer, he can pull out.

(I'm a woman, BTW.)

I agree with this.

/also a woman

3rd and also a woman. IUD and withdrawal is good enough. Once you’re in your 30s, it’s not as easy to get pregnant as you think!

Plenty of 30 something year old women have proven that to be false. If you are struggling to get pregnant in your 30s, chances are you would have struggled in your 20's. I got pregnant easily twice in my 30's ( 37 and 39) and have about a dozen of family/friends who have done the same. Sure, there is the potential for fertility issues when you get older and the chances of getting pregnant do decrease with age, but most fertility issues have likely been present well before you hit your 30's. Two of the women I know with fertility struggles were in their 20's.

WTF are you talking about? We are specifically talking here about a woman who doesn't want to get pregnant and is using birth control that is more effective than tubal ligation. Yes, she'll prob be fine like 99% of of everyone I have known who has yanked an IUD and gotten pregnant in 3 months or less. But this wasn't the question. Her specific thing, that me and the others have responded to, is that if STDs are not AT ALL a concern, you're almost nutty to think an IUD doesn't have your back. Barring user error.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have an IUD then the only concern is STDs. Both of you should get tested and then lose the condoms.

If you like 2 methods to feel safer, he can pull out.

(I'm a woman, BTW.)

I agree with this.

/also a woman

3rd and also a woman. IUD and withdrawal is good enough. Once you’re in your 30s, it’s not as easy to get pregnant as you think!

Plenty of 30 something year old women have proven that to be false. If you are struggling to get pregnant in your 30s, chances are you would have struggled in your 20's. I got pregnant easily twice in my 30's ( 37 and 39) and have about a dozen of family/friends who have done the same. Sure, there is the potential for fertility issues when you get older and the chances of getting pregnant do decrease with age, but most fertility issues have likely been present well before you hit your 30's. Two of the women I know with fertility struggles were in their 20's.

WTF are you talking about? We are specifically talking here about a woman who doesn't want to get pregnant and is using birth control that is more effective than tubal ligation. Yes, she'll prob be fine like 99% of of everyone I have known who has yanked an IUD and gotten pregnant in 3 months or less. But this wasn't the question. Her specific thing, that me and the others have responded to, is that if STDs are not AT ALL a concern, you're almost nutty to think an IUD doesn't have your back. Barring user error.

It was a response to pp who said “ Once you’re in your 30’s, it’s not as easy to get pregnant as you think”. This is incorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have an IUD then the only concern is STDs. Both of you should get tested and then lose the condoms.

If you like 2 methods to feel safer, he can pull out.

(I'm a woman, BTW.)

I agree with this.

/also a woman

3rd and also a woman. IUD and withdrawal is good enough. Once you’re in your 30s, it’s not as easy to get pregnant as you think!

Plenty of 30 something year old women have proven that to be false. If you are struggling to get pregnant in your 30s, chances are you would have struggled in your 20's. I got pregnant easily twice in my 30's ( 37 and 39) and have about a dozen of family/friends who have done the same. Sure, there is the potential for fertility issues when you get older and the chances of getting pregnant do decrease with age, but most fertility issues have likely been present well before you hit your 30's. Two of the women I know with fertility struggles were in their 20's.

+1. Pregnant at 34 despite using diaphragm and spermicide but giving in to my fiance’s wish not to use condom as well. Pregnant again at 38 after having BC free sex 1 night. (This was a planned pregnancy and we only had sex once that month because I was working in a different city.)

Many women get pregnant easily in their 30s and even 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's a story I remember from the news, baby born holding the IUD like a rattle:
https://www.google.com/search?q=baby+born+with+iud+in+hand&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=yhY2MWoNuMYv7M%253A%252CAqFfAnZmptWMEM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kQ89jEut4-3EckXMA4cXsDOaR6JCQ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiPscnI-8HmAhUET98KHZdaCDwQ9QEwAnoECAcQIA#imgrc=yhY2MWoNuMYv7M:

Except that didn’t happen. Read the article. Was placed there after birth as a joke.

[Anonymous]

We use condoms except when trying to conceive. Married 10 years, 2 kids, don’t plan on more. I can’t take hormonal birth control and did not like the copper iud when I tried it. DH can choose between vasectomy or condoms. Thus far he’s chosen the latter. Works fine. And FWIW during the year I had an iud we still used condoms.

[Anonymous]

Keep your IUD. Your body, your right. He's not the one if he can't respect that. Make yourself a priority. If not, who else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have an IUD then the only concern is STDs. Both of you should get tested and then lose the condoms.

If you like 2 methods to feel safer, he can pull out.

(I'm a woman, BTW.)

OP here. We are both STD free. I’m just worried about getting pregnant, ah IUD or both control isn’t 100% effective. I don’t want to get pregnant, but I don’t want my boyfriend ( and possible future husband) to be dissatisfied with our sex life.

Condoms by definition are necessary, but will take some of the satisfaction out of the sex life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have an IUD then the only concern is STDs. Both of you should get tested and then lose the condoms.

If you like 2 methods to feel safer, he can pull out.

(I'm a woman, BTW.)

what we did was pull out and a clean finish with oral. It seemed to be just as good or better!

Pregnancy risk aside I don’t understand people who think finishing PIV is nasty but finishing by mouth isn’t.