Boyfriend Wants To Stop..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The fact that he is pushing to stop condoms-tells me something about HIM. He's not taking your well being into consideration, OP.

Most people stop using a barrier method when they become exclusive. If he was refusing to get tested you might have a point. But one of the main benefits of monogamy is losing the condoms.

-woman

Err, I don’t what planet you are living on but many non married monogamous couples continue to use condoms, due to birth control, stds, or both. My friends and I who are single all still use condoms.

Op, you should not let him pressure you into not using a condom if you are not comfortabke with that. Have you had a discussion about how you would ha doe what happened if you got pregnant and if so are you on the same page?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The fact that he is pushing to stop condoms-tells me something about HIM. He's not taking your well being into consideration, OP.

Most people stop using a barrier method when they become exclusive. If he was refusing to get tested you might have a point. But one of the main benefits of monogamy is losing the condoms.

-woman

Err, I don’t what planet you are living on but many non married monogamous couples continue to use condoms, due to birth control, stds, or both. My friends and I who are single all still use condoms.

Op, you should not let him pressure you into not using a condom if you are not comfortabke with that. Have you had a discussion about how you would ha doe what happened if you got pregnant and if so are you on the same page?

OP has an IUD, which is one of the most effective birth controls available, and has said she has no concerns about STDs. Read the thread.

OP should not do anything she's not comfortable doing. But people in this thread need to stop acting like this guy is a budding date rapist for preferring sex without condoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The fact that he is pushing to stop condoms-tells me something about HIM. He's not taking your well being into consideration, OP.

Most people stop using a barrier method when they become exclusive. If he was refusing to get tested you might have a point. But one of the main benefits of monogamy is losing the condoms.

-woman

Err, I don’t what planet you are living on but many non married monogamous couples continue to use condoms, due to birth control, stds, or both. My friends and I who are single all still use condoms.

Op, you should not let him pressure you into not using a condom if you are not comfortabke with that. Have you had a discussion about how you would ha doe what happened if you got pregnant and if so are you on the same page?

OP has an IUD, which is one of the most effective birth controls available, and has said she has no concerns about STDs. Read the thread.

OP should not do anything she's not comfortable doing. But people in this thread need to stop acting like this guy is a budding date rapist for preferring sex without condoms.

I have read the thread. Men cannot get tested for HPV. So he could very well have an std and not know it. He could also cheat on her and give her an std. she wants to keep using condoms - it is her body that would get pregnant. If he is not ready to marry her and have a baby with her, he should be fine with using a condom. It’s reaonabke to date for a year or so before getting engaged. That’s o it six mo the away. If he is so eager to have sex without a co dim, he can put a ring on it and take the risk of having a baby with his wife.

[Anonymous]

This is one of those threads that makes it clear that it would be very useful to know how fertile you actually are. For every person getting pregnant from pre-cum, there are 10 who can't get pregnant unless they have sex on the day of ovulation.

I'm not clear on what the purpose of an IUD is, if not to prevent pregnancy... Are you always this risk-averse in all your other choices?

[Anonymous]

Seems to me that your bigger problem is this weird hedging about possible husband this, future husband that’s. Time’s a tickin’.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The fact that he is pushing to stop condoms-tells me something about HIM. He's not taking your well being into consideration, OP.

Most people stop using a barrier method when they become exclusive. If he was refusing to get tested you might have a point. But one of the main benefits of monogamy is losing the condoms.

-woman

Err, I don’t what planet you are living on but many non married monogamous couples continue to use condoms, due to birth control, stds, or both. My friends and I who are single all still use condoms.

Op, you should not let him pressure you into not using a condom if you are not comfortabke with that. Have you had a discussion about how you would ha doe what happened if you got pregnant and if so are you on the same page?

OP has an IUD, which is one of the most effective birth controls available, and has said she has no concerns about STDs. Read the thread.

OP should not do anything she's not comfortable doing. But people in this thread need to stop acting like this guy is a budding date rapist for preferring sex without condoms.

I have read the thread. Men cannot get tested for HPV. So he could very well have an std and not know it. He could also cheat on her and give her an std. she wants to keep using condoms - it is her body that would get pregnant. If he is not ready to marry her and have a baby with her, he should be fine with using a condom. It’s reaonabke to date for a year or so before getting engaged. That’s o it six mo the away. If he is so eager to have sex without a co dim, he can put a ring on it and take the risk of having a baby with his wife.

Well, you seem pretty emotional over this, so I'm not sure it's worth engaging further. But I think it's worth pointing out that nowhere, and I mean NOWHERE, does OP indicate she wants to marry this guy. So I think your idea to use his no condoms preference to pressure him into an engagement is significantly stranger than a person liking the feeling of sex without a barrier method.

[Anonymous]

Well, it doesn't matter who's right who's wrong. If he continues using condom, he will resent you. If he doesn't, you resent him. Something got to give.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The fact that he is pushing to stop condoms-tells me something about HIM. He's not taking your well being into consideration, OP.

Yeah. I don’t like it either. Especially your comment about not wanting him to be unhappy about your sex life. That’s jerky of him if he is uniting that. You seem to want to keep using condoms for now and that’s fine.

+1. Six months isn't all that long, either. You don't really know each other yet.

+100 Men generally do not like using condoms, true, but if neither of you is ready for children, he needs to understand that *your* enjoyment of sex will be affected by feeling unprotected. If he's serious about you, he'll understand that until you are married, you will both take responsibility for birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is one of those threads that makes it clear that it would be very useful to know how fertile you actually are. For every person getting pregnant from pre-cum, there are 10 who can't get pregnant unless they have sex on the day of ovulation.

I'm not clear on what the purpose of an IUD is, if not to prevent pregnancy... Are you always this risk-averse in all your other choices?

I can't believe the number of people who seemingly have no trust in a birth control method that has a success rate on par with having your tubes tied. Listen, most of these pregnancies on the IUD are due to user error. Check your strings, make sure it is in place, particularly the first few months you have it. If you have weird cramping and think it could have slid out of place, go to your doctor. Anecdotally, almost every one of my female friends used an IUD for years, with no problems. The one person I know who did get pregnant with one (a doctor!) admits that it had probably slid out of place and she wasn't good about checking. She had it removed and miscarried, which is the most common ending.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I wouldn't stop using condoms unless marriage to him was imminent- from both a pregnancy and std point of view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is one of those threads that makes it clear that it would be very useful to know how fertile you actually are. For every person getting pregnant from pre-cum, there are 10 who can't get pregnant unless they have sex on the day of ovulation.

I'm not clear on what the purpose of an IUD is, if not to prevent pregnancy... Are you always this risk-averse in all your other choices?

I can't believe the number of people who seemingly have no trust in a birth control method that has a success rate on par with having your tubes tied. Listen, most of these pregnancies on the IUD are due to user error. Check your strings, make sure it is in place, particularly the first few months you have it. If you have weird cramping and think it could have slid out of place, go to your doctor. Anecdotally, almost every one of my female friends used an IUD for years, with no problems. The one person I know who did get pregnant with one (a doctor!) admits that it had probably slid out of place and she wasn't good about checking. She had it removed and miscarried, which is the most common ending.

See OP? That's all. Let him blast away.


/s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's definitely not sponge-worthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The fact that he is pushing to stop condoms-tells me something about HIM. He's not taking your well being into consideration, OP.

Most people stop using a barrier method when they become exclusive. If he was refusing to get tested you might have a point. But one of the main benefits of monogamy is losing the condoms.

-woman

Err, I don’t what planet you are living on but many non married monogamous couples continue to use condoms, due to birth control, stds, or both. My friends and I who are single all still use condoms.

Op, you should not let him pressure you into not using a condom if you are not comfortabke with that. Have you had a discussion about how you would ha doe what happened if you got pregnant and if so are you on the same page?

I know alot of married couples who use condoms. Seems like no one wants to be on the pill (or get an IUD that will have to come out in a couple years when they want another kid, I guess)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: The fact that he is pushing to stop condoms-tells me something about HIM. He's not taking your well being into consideration, OP.

Most people stop using a barrier method when they become exclusive. If he was refusing to get tested you might have a point. But one of the main benefits of monogamy is losing the condoms.

-woman

Err, I don’t what planet you are living on but many non married monogamous couples continue to use condoms, due to birth control, stds, or both. My friends and I who are single all still use condoms.

Op, you should not let him pressure you into not using a condom if you are not comfortabke with that. Have you had a discussion about how you would ha doe what happened if you got pregnant and if so are you on the same page?

OP has an IUD, which is one of the most effective birth controls available, and has said she has no concerns about STDs. Read the thread.

OP should not do anything she's not comfortable doing. But people in this thread need to stop acting like this guy is a budding date rapist for preferring sex without condoms.

I have read the thread. Men cannot get tested for HPV. So he could very well have an std and not know it. He could also cheat on her and give her an std. she wants to keep using condoms - it is her body that would get pregnant. If he is not ready to marry her and have a baby with her, he should be fine with using a condom. It’s reaonabke to date for a year or so before getting engaged. That’s o it six mo the away. If he is so eager to have sex without a co dim, he can put a ring on it and take the risk of having a baby with his wife.

Well, you seem pretty emotional over this, so I'm not sure it's worth engaging further. But I think it's worth pointing out that nowhere, and I mean NOWHERE, does OP indicate she wants to marry this guy. So I think your idea to use his no condoms preference to pressure him into an engagement is significantly stranger than a person liking the feeling of sex without a barrier method.

"We are both dating for marriage and feel it's headed in that direction."

[Anonymous]

OP here. We are dating for marriage and plan to get engaged at some point. He is the one already bringing up getting engaged, but I want to wait until the 1 year mark to get engaged. Nothing to do with him - it's me.

We have both been STD tested. He has not been pressuring me. He brought it up once and would be fine continuing to use condoms. I was curious when others have stopped.

I know I'm in my 30's ( 31) but I still want to wait until I'm around 33/34 to start trying. We both want 2 kids.