Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We had thanksgiving at our house, about 40 people. It went well but my wife was really stressed that whole week. I helped the entire Thursday and Friday (the event itself, clean up, take down) but my work schedule didn't let me do a lot of the set up, table prep, meal prep, etc. Our kids are still relatively young (6,3, 10 mo) and she works part time but it really was a lot on her. For our youngest firsts birthday she wants to rent a venue. It will add about 400 dollars to the budget. I just think that's crazy for a 1st bday and we have had all the other kids bday parties at the house just fine. She says she's "at her limit" and since it's a January bday Christmas will have "her nerves shot." I think venues are harder because we have to lug all our food and drinks there, then decorate, then have the party, clean up, drive home, etc. She says its worth it not to have her house completely trashed for days with prep, actual event and the clean up. I feel like it's unfair to all the sudden have the last kids party "upgraded" and she thinks "she's 1 and has no freaking idea." We very rarely have disagreements and I have been thinking about it for days. I think a good compromise is I take off the Friday before the party and really help with the prep stuff. She isn't budging. DCUM what's your opinion?
You say you rarely have disagreements, but it seems to me that you have very little sympathy for her, and possibly think she's a liar? She's telling you she's at her limit and cannot handle doing this again at the house, and your reaction is to basically roll your eyes and call her dramatic. Why not take her at her word? She's telling you very clearly that she does not want to do this and it's very stressful for her, and she's bringing you a solution at the same time. Seems to me that's the gold standard for communication in a marriage.
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