Why can't kids take the bus ?

[Anonymous]

Parenting isn’t an either or situation. You can drive your child to school and still raise a young adult who is independent and resourceful. Everyone calm down. OP your DD will probably be gone in 18 months. Why not just enjoy the time you have with her? I promise once she starts driving herself you will rarely see her.

[Anonymous]

Because there is no supervision. I dont want my kid assaulted on the bus or seeing other kids giving/receiving blow jobs.

[Anonymous]

Is there any reason she can’t take the bus on the days you are supposed to drive. We don’t have that option, so maybe there’s some logistical issue I’m not getting. But, I’ve always said I don’t pack lunches for kids that are old enough to pack their own. My husband enjoys packing lunches. When he goes out of town for work, our 10 year old packs her own lunch. It’s not a problem at all.

I don’t bother with a philosophical debate on the merits of packing ones own lunch vs the loving gesture of doing it for your kid. We both work full time, we both do a ton for our kid. And we are allowed to be different!

[Anonymous]

Haven't read all the comments so maybe this has been said. The kids should take the bus just because it probably seems scarier to them to take the bus than it really is, since they've not had to do it. It's hard for teens to adapt to new situations and they might feel intimidated by the school bus. They need to know they can do it. This will help them build the confidence to know that they can manage this on their own.

[Anonymous]

The cop may be county or state or maybe even federal mandated, kind of like Braille on a drive-through. Your wife, nor do the other adults have any control over that.

Onto you, if you don't want to or can't drive your kid to school, then don't. It is perfectly acceptable to say "I need to be at work" and then be at work. Leave the house if you need to, as unfair as that may seem. I do better when my husband is not at the house when he's working. When he was working from home, I often couldn't tell when he was working v. when I could tell him something "Hey, look at this video" "Want to hear a joke" "What did you think of that last chapter of the book you were reading" from "I'm coming upstairs to go potty and then I truly do need to get downstairs".
If you need to be at work, then go to work, literally. Starbucks counts as "going to work".

When you complain, are you grumpy? Nothing kills my sympathy more then a grumpy husband. Talking about what you experienced as a kid is fine, talking about what you wish is fine, being a grump is not. I've noticed tv shows often show the grumpy husband coming home and his loving wife waiting with sympathy, but that's like romance novels where the rich boyfriend never seems to be at the office. It doesn't work that way.

Finally, don't compare your experience with the city bus to the school-bus. You had much more freedom with a city bus then you do with a school-bus. I'm also not sure how the school-bus teaches resiliency. The school-bus is like being on a commercial airplane, you go where it goes, you deal with the people around you, and if you miss the bus coming or going, someone has to rescue you.
I'd think about if resilience is what you want to teach, and if so better ways to teach it. I'd also leave your wife's treatment of you out of how you treat your kids. That seems to be what is bothering you, your wife is loving to your kids while being dismissive of you. I'd address that head-on and leave the kids out of it. Your point that she is loving to the kids proves she is capable of being loving, and that you'd like some of that loving directed at you is worth discussing with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: The cop may be county or state or maybe even federal mandated, kind of like Braille on a drive-through. Your wife, nor do the other adults have any control over that.

Onto you, if you don't want to or can't drive your kid to school, then don't. It is perfectly acceptable to say "I need to be at work" and then be at work. Leave the house if you need to, as unfair as that may seem. I do better when my husband is not at the house when he's working. When he was working from home, I often couldn't tell when he was working v. when I could tell him something "Hey, look at this video" "Want to hear a joke" "What did you think of that last chapter of the book you were reading" from "I'm coming upstairs to go potty and then I truly do need to get downstairs".
If you need to be at work, then go to work, literally. Starbucks counts as "going to work".

When you complain, are you grumpy? Nothing kills my sympathy more then a grumpy husband. Talking about what you experienced as a kid is fine, talking about what you wish is fine, being a grump is not. I've noticed tv shows often show the grumpy husband coming home and his loving wife waiting with sympathy, but that's like romance novels where the rich boyfriend never seems to be at the office. It doesn't work that way.

Finally, don't compare your experience with the city bus to the school-bus. You had much more freedom with a city bus then you do with a school-bus. I'm also not sure how the school-bus teaches resiliency. The school-bus is like being on a commercial airplane, you go where it goes, you deal with the people around you, and if you miss the bus coming or going, someone has to rescue you.
I'd think about if resilience is what you want to teach, and if so better ways to teach it. I'd also leave your wife's treatment of you out of how you treat your kids. That seems to be what is bothering you, your wife is loving to your kids while being dismissive of you. I'd address that head-on and leave the kids out of it. Your point that she is loving to the kids proves she is capable of being loving, and that you'd like some of that loving directed at you is worth discussing with her.

This is so true. I was fine taking city buses everywhere (and subways, and street cars) because I was an anonymous teen on them. I refused to take the school bus because it was mentally and emotionally exhausting due to being with other kids from my junior high and high school. It was like school but without any kind of supervision. It was awful. I would have rather walked an hour to school each way than to ride the school bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had great talks with my dad when he'd drive me to school. He taught me more about periods than my mom ever did. He gave me work advice. I listened to music I liked.

I arrived at school calm and confident.

Hopefully my dad appreciated the time he spent with me also.

OP here. Thank you for this as I do realize it is about my perspective and that with a different perspective I would be enjoying our time together. Part of it is my 16 old DD and our level of engagement as she is playing on her phone with eardbuds in while I drive which further increaes my frustration. Perhaps the new deal is if you want me to drive you we have to engage, i.e. no phone and earbuds.

I am glad that you enjoyed your time with your Dad.

This is the rule in my car. I'm not an Uber. And it usually works out that I enjoy the extra few minutes I get to be around my kids! Is that the motivation behind your wife's desire to not have her take the bus?