Why can't kids take the bus ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your youngest is a junior... that ship has sailed.

Why are you picking a fight?

THIS

[Anonymous]

^^^ don't agree, still 1 1/2 yrs left - worth the discussion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had great talks with my dad when he'd drive me to school. He taught me more about periods than my mom ever did. He gave me work advice. I listened to music I liked.

I arrived at school calm and confident.

Hopefully my dad appreciated the time he spent with me also.

OP here. Thank you for this as I do realize it is about my perspective and that with a different perspective I would be enjoying our time together. Part of it is my 16 old DD and our level of engagement as she is playing on her phone with eardbuds in while I drive which further increaes my frustration. Perhaps the new deal is if you want me to drive you we have to engage, i.e. no phone and earbuds.

I am glad that you enjoyed your time with your Dad.

When my kid does this I stop the car and say I am not a taxi and she can take the bus. She has stopped doing that and now we talk. I learn a lot with these drives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH here.

My wife has always insisted on driving our kids to school. Last one is a junior in high school. On the days that my wife works it is expected that I will drive my DD to school often ironically behind the school bus that drove past our house that would have picked up my DD to take her to school.

I will admit part of my frustration comes down to values and equal treatment. My DW will look at me and tell me to get over it if I complain about my extended commute or any other frustrating aspect of adult life but we can't teach our kids grit and resilience by taking the bus. My DW does not get that my frustration is about values - how can we teach them the value of the work when Dad is supposed to interrupt work to take them to school behind the very bus that we pay to drive them. I try and tell my wife that we need to raise resilient kids instead we cater to every whim. I realize I sound whiny and perhaps self indulgent but heck I took two city buses to school and two home.


And I'm not the only one - there's a cop directing traffic at the school drop off zone as no one takes the bus ?

I don't get it but I don't think as parents we are helping.

How does taking the bus teach them "the value of work"? They're sitting on the bus. And, frankly, it's absurd we live 5 miles from our MS and the kids have a 40 min. bus ride (we are toward the end of the route). Kids further up (by a mile or 2) are on the bus nearly an hour. At 620 in the morning! And all b/c the county cannot prioritize transportation needs.

To be clear, my daughter takes the bus b/c she likes being with her friends. But, I have offered to drive her for these very reasons. I don't think your wife is wrong or off base. You just don't want to be inconvenienced. You have a spouse issue, thus, not a "kids these days aren't resilient" issue.

All they do is sit on their butts on the bus, btw. Not some great teaching moment.

[Anonymous]

Have you asked DC why she doesn't want to take the bus? My dd takes the bus every day except band day because she is embarassed/uncomfortable carrying her big instrument down the aisle (apparently, it bumps everyone's knees). She does take it home, though, because my patience only goes so far. My other dd went through a stint not wanting to take the bus and I realized much later that she was being bullied.

Maybe it's just a habit (probably because it allows her to sleep 10 mins later) but maybe there's a real reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^ don't agree, still 1 1/2 yrs left - worth the discussion

You fall asleep at the wheel for 16 years and want to make a quick course correction.... you will run the car right into a tree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had great talks with my dad when he'd drive me to school. He taught me more about periods than my mom ever did. He gave me work advice. I listened to music I liked.

I arrived at school calm and confident.

Hopefully my dad appreciated the time he spent with me also.

OP here. Thank you for this as I do realize it is about my perspective and that with a different perspective I would be enjoying our time together. Part of it is my 16 old DD and our level of engagement as she is playing on her phone with eardbuds in while I drive which further increaes my frustration. Perhaps the new deal is if you want me to drive you we have to engage, i.e. no phone and earbuds.

I am glad that you enjoyed your time with your Dad.

When my kid does this I stop the car and say I am not a taxi and she can take the bus. She has stopped doing that and now we talk. I learn a lot with these drives.

OMG! who are these bipolar people and why are they off their meds.

You can just ask nicely btw.

[Anonymous]

My kid started taking the city bus at age 11. Mostly with friends. Sometimes alone. He's learned how to deal with situations. It's also given him independence.
Take the bus.

[Anonymous]

Put your foot down.
Kid should/can take the bus to school.
It’s part of growing up.

Tell your wife to stop being a “concierge parent”, worse than a helicopter parents.
Kids need to grow up
-working mom of 4 who have been taking the bus since 1st grade

[Anonymous]

“Hey kids, I’ve been able to drive you so far, but work is busy and this takes too much time. I’m sorry, but you have to take the bus sometimes. I’ll make sure you know before you go to bed so you won’t have to rush in the AM.”

It isn’t hard.

Those of you going off on this man’s parenting failures really need to get out more.

As for your wife — she needs a purpose, or a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH here.

My wife has always insisted on driving our kids to school. Last one is a junior in high school. On the days that my wife works it is expected that I will drive my DD to school often ironically behind the school bus that drove past our house that would have picked up my DD to take her to school.

I will admit part of my frustration comes down to values and equal treatment. My DW will look at me and tell me to get over it if I complain about my extended commute or any other frustrating aspect of adult life but we can't teach our kids grit and resilience by taking the bus. My DW does not get that my frustration is about values - how can we teach them the value of the work when Dad is supposed to interrupt work to take them to school behind the very bus that we pay to drive them. I try and tell my wife that we need to raise resilient kids instead we cater to every whim. I realize I sound whiny and perhaps self indulgent but heck I took two city buses to school and two home.


And I'm not the only one - there's a cop directing traffic at the school drop off zone as no one takes the bus ?

I don't get it but I don't think as parents we are helping.

I remember those days well, OP.

It's shocking to me when I see how scared some parents can be, because if you live in NYC and attend public school, you start taking the subway ALONE starting in middle school (11 years old).

That's right, every kid in public school starts taking the subway by themselves in 6th grade.
The NYC school system has no school buses (unless you're counting public mass transit as school buses, lol) and while every student in elementary school can easily walk to and from school from home (the elementary's are always just a few blocks from each student's home) middle school are most definitely NOT.

Taking the subway starting at 11 years old was a great learning experience, it made me tough, perceptive & made me very intuitive. It was a great way to learn street smarts (plus the train is filled with a couple of hundred other kids going to middle school at the same time, so there was never any real danger).

By the time I was 12 or 13, I was confident that I could handle almost any situation that was thrown at me, or at least act like I could (which is half the battle). I also knew what to do, how to act and more importantly how to react so I would never, ever become a target.

My kids? Not so much, lol.

[Anonymous]

My kids have late sports practice a few times a week, as in not getting off the field until 9:45pm. Home, shower, snack pushes bedtime very late. The morning after those practices I drive to give them 25 more min of sleep they would have missed if they had to catch the bus. School is a 10 min drive—but bus comes almost an hour before start time.

[Anonymous]

We live in the suburbs of MoCo. My HS daughter gets a ride to school from a friend but takes the bus (public) home. She also takes the bus to the mall and other places. I grew up in Europe, so it is perfectly normal to me but she tells me that most of her friends and their parents would never consider the bus as an option to get around. Metro yes, but buses no. Almost like it is "for the poors" in the suburbs. How are we ever going to solve traffic issues, carbon emissions etc if folks don't embrace public transport of all sorts? I wouldn't mind, for all school age kids the buses in MoCo are free 24/7!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had great talks with my dad when he'd drive me to school. He taught me more about periods than my mom ever did. He gave me work advice. I listened to music I liked.

I arrived at school calm and confident.

Hopefully my dad appreciated the time he spent with me also.

Your dad talked to you about your periods?

I was dying to know if anyone besides me read this and thought it was wierd!!!

It's part of parenting. It's a normal function of the female body and it is not weird for a parent to guide their child through it, mom or dad. People need to be less uptight about menstruation. Single dads can't talk to their DDs about a normal bodily function if a female adult isn't in their lives? Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Start with one day a week. Soon kids will feel like they would rather do bus.