resentment of siblings who don't do anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP: I am done.

I am done asking for help.
I am done suggesting alternative ways to help.
I am done explaining how trying to do it all on my own health, my finances, my career, my DH, and my children.
I am done hearing that I’m a saint.
I am done explaining that no, I was not the favored child nor did I get disproportionate time or money growing up.
I am done hoping they will come around.
I am done hearing that I should just walk away.
I am done hearing that what you allow to continue, you are accepting or however that shitty phrase goes.

I’ll do it, but I am done calling it anything other than what it really is: unfair.

It is unfair.

I feel your pain. This was me, except now my selfish sibling is aging and she clearly expects me to do for her what I did for our mother. I try to help in some ways but I will not devote the last years of my life to being a caregiver for her when I devoted so much of my middle age to caring for our elderly parent. Don't be a martyr. Set up a system to at least be sure your expenses are covered. Keep receipts, etc. to avoid legal troubles related to this as uninvolved siblings will often accuse you of taking too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the "lazy" sibling; sibling let me know she was "in charge" and that I received no input whatsoever. So I stopped.

You are the "loser, selfish" sibling. Shame on you. I hope your kids return the favor to you and I hope you only have one child you get zero care in your time of need! Don't look for a excuse to get out of doing the right things.

[Anonymous]

Many, many siblings and one sibling carried the major load! Sibling became very possessive and refused help and curtailed many visits with Mother. Much help offered, but would NOT accept. Mother pretty went along with it since she had no choice as he moved in with her to help. It totally changed family dynamics and ruined relationships between siblings. All live close by and do not bother with each other since funeral 7 years ago. Everyone thought others should help, but did not want to upset sibling in charge. Everyone had issues and own separate relationships with Mother. She was well loved. Lots of differing opinions and arguments about her care. Sibling resents all of us to this day. Said we could have helped more, but he would not budge. So incredibly sad......Basically, lost Mother and siblings.