Does anyone else have a lock on their pantry? Can you recommend one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do and I am not ashamed to say that yes, I lock food away from my 10 yo child. At 10 yo he weights 150 lbs. Yes, 150 lbs. Without the lock and learning to self-regulate, he would've ballooned even further. Here is the lock we use. He has full access to apples, bananas, berries. We don't have bread in the house and sweets are limited to fiber bars. ANd if he wants ice cream, he has to bike for it.

https://www.amazon.com/Refrigerator-Drawer-Freezer-Cabinet-REZIPO/dp/B07JBYM53N/ref=asc_df_B07JBYM53N/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=242029067247&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5277249714090130381&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9008148&hvtargid=pla-744292502392&psc=1

He's not learning to "self" regulate. He's learning food = control.

NP here. What's the answer then? Her son weighs 150 pounds. If she lets him to go into obesity as a child, which may be a life long condition, is that preferable?

Not having cookies isn't a health problem. Being obese is a health problem. What's a parent to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried a substantial snack before bedtime? Maybe something like pbj sandwich?

I would try that along with a lock. It doesn’t sound like they’re picky about what they’re eating, so I don’t think the “don’t buy it” advice would work anyway.

This, try a snack before bed. I would also limit what I buy.

OP, just realize that the lock on the pantry is a short-term solution to the binging, but is not going to solve the underlying problem.

Unless it is learned behavior from parents with eating issues, the most common causes of childhood binging are stress, anxiety, depression or medical issues. The two PP above have good ideas if the children were happy, healthy, non-stressed and have no underlying problems like anxiety or depression. But in your situation, it doesn't read like this is the case and as you've already found out, these won't work for you.

So, while the lock is a short-term solution, do NOT just put the lock on and then go on about your life as if that will fix everything. If you only do that, it will only make things worse. If you don't figure out WHY they are binging, you will just encourage them to find other outlets. You might find them shoplifting snacks or stealing money from you or others to buy snacks.

First, it sounds like this is a progressive problem, e.g. it started small and has steadily gotten worse. If that's not the case, then you need to figure out what changed. New stresses like a new baby, a new school, a bully that has suddenly targeted them, a teacher that doesn't accommodate them, etc can all cause such problems. If it is a sudden change, look to see what else change in their life and see if you can fix that problem,

If it isn't a sudden change, but a progressive one, then you need to see if you can find a longer term problem or get professional help for your children. My next thought is that due to their learning disabilities and ADHD, they are having problems at school where they are not getting the help that they need to learn in a supportive environment. Whether it is a teacher who is not following their IEP/504, or peers who are bullying them, the school environment is a common place for such stresses to affect children like this. If you cannot figure out what is causing the issues in your children's lives, you need to get professional help for them to help figure out what is causing the binge/stress eating. Without that, this could be the first step to major eating issues, weight issues, or other health issues in their adult life. Problems like this don't get better without addressing the root cause, they get worse and the longer it goes unaddressed, the harder it will be to fix.

Help your children find the answer to their underlying problems and do no just put the lock on the cabinet and let it go. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 15 y o with ADHD was like this. Wed wake up and have no food left to pack for lunch. So, what happens if you “close the kitchen”? At 9 pm our kitchen is closed and no one is allow to cook, open the cabinets, etc for anything except water. I pit a post it on the fridge & pantry “closed til 6 am”, It’s a hard rule, and it worked for her.

I also have a shelf with snack food that is labeled “lunch boxes only”. That way no one eats the lunch stuff. A drawer in the fridge labeled” for snacking” has fruit and cheese sticks in it.

If this hadn’t worked I would have locked it all up but maybe you don’t need to go that far.

My mom was a control freak like this. And now her kids have weird body issues.

You need to teach them moderation. She’s going to move out one day and it’ll be OK to have a cookie at night.

18:47 from page 3 here. I'm all ears - please tell me how to teach moderation to my 16 yo in this area.

[Anonymous]

My 16 year old twins eat like this. My son has ADHD but I don’t think it has much to do with the late eating. They are teenagers and get hungry at different times. They are also athletes and in good physical shape. So, I amused to coming to the kitchen in the morning and see half the deli meat, cheese and bread is gone. A carton of ice cream for milk shakes or pasta — gone. OP, your kids are younger and my kids didn’t eat like yours until they were teenagers and I may have missed a response about their physical condition or weight or that they play a lot sports. You may want to consult your pediatrician. This does not sound usual for 8 - 10 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 16 year old twins eat like this. My son has ADHD but I don’t think it has much to do with the late eating. They are teenagers and get hungry at different times. They are also athletes and in good physical shape. So, I amused to coming to the kitchen in the morning and see half the deli meat, cheese and bread is gone. A carton of ice cream for milk shakes or pasta — gone. OP, your kids are younger and my kids didn’t eat like yours until they were teenagers and I may have missed a response about their physical condition or weight or that they play a lot sports. You may want to consult your pediatrician. This does not sound usual for 8 - 10 year olds.

OMG, I think we all know it's not usual. Hence this whole thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 15 y o with ADHD was like this. Wed wake up and have no food left to pack for lunch. So, what happens if you “close the kitchen”? At 9 pm our kitchen is closed and no one is allow to cook, open the cabinets, etc for anything except water. I pit a post it on the fridge & pantry “closed til 6 am”, It’s a hard rule, and it worked for her.

I also have a shelf with snack food that is labeled “lunch boxes only”. That way no one eats the lunch stuff. A drawer in the fridge labeled” for snacking” has fruit and cheese sticks in it.

If this hadn’t worked I would have locked it all up but maybe you don’t need to go that far.

My mom was a control freak like this. And now her kids have weird body issues.

You need to teach them moderation. She’s going to move out one day and it’ll be OK to have a cookie at night.

18:47 from page 3 here. I'm all ears - please tell me how to teach moderation to my 16 yo in this area.

How about not keeping cookies in the house? When you go out to lunch, you can have one cookie for dessert? Or, at the grocery store, we buy one cookie from the bakery section as a treat?

You can’t have a bunch of junk food in the house, anxious/poor impulse control kids, and then put a lock on the pantry door.

This type of shit comes up in therapy years later... my mom was a control freak, and bought tons of cookies, but wouldn’t let me eat the cookies, and then shamed me when I ate the cookies, and then I used my babysitting money to buy cookies and hide them from her...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried a substantial snack before bedtime? Maybe something like pbj sandwich?

I would try that along with a lock. It doesn’t sound like they’re picky about what they’re eating, so I don’t think the “don’t buy it” advice would work anyway.

This, try a snack before bed. I would also limit what I buy.

OP, just realize that the lock on the pantry is a short-term solution to the binging, but is not going to solve the underlying problem.

Unless it is learned behavior from parents with eating issues, the most common causes of childhood binging are stress, anxiety, depression or medical issues. The two PP above have good ideas if the children were happy, healthy, non-stressed and have no underlying problems like anxiety or depression. But in your situation, it doesn't read like this is the case and as you've already found out, these won't work for you.

So, while the lock is a short-term solution, do NOT just put the lock on and then go on about your life as if that will fix everything. If you only do that, it will only make things worse. If you don't figure out WHY they are binging, you will just encourage them to find other outlets. You might find them shoplifting snacks or stealing money from you or others to buy snacks.

First, it sounds like this is a progressive problem, e.g. it started small and has steadily gotten worse. If that's not the case, then you need to figure out what changed. New stresses like a new baby, a new school, a bully that has suddenly targeted them, a teacher that doesn't accommodate them, etc can all cause such problems. If it is a sudden change, look to see what else change in their life and see if you can fix that problem,

If it isn't a sudden change, but a progressive one, then you need to see if you can find a longer term problem or get professional help for your children. My next thought is that due to their learning disabilities and ADHD, they are having problems at school where they are not getting the help that they need to learn in a supportive environment. Whether it is a teacher who is not following their IEP/504, or peers who are bullying them, the school environment is a common place for such stresses to affect children like this. If you cannot figure out what is causing the issues in your children's lives, you need to get professional help for them to help figure out what is causing the binge/stress eating. Without that, this could be the first step to major eating issues, weight issues, or other health issues in their adult life. Problems like this don't get better without addressing the root cause, they get worse and the longer it goes unaddressed, the harder it will be to fix.

Help your children find the answer to their underlying problems and do no just put the lock on the cabinet and let it go. Good luck.

Not OP but this is one of my big concerns. I don't think not buying cookies now will encourage him to find other outlets but I am concerned that he will, in fact, find other outlets naturally as he grows older. Drugs/alcohol being my biggest concern. Binging on dry Cheerios while hiding under the kitchen table might be a prelude for things to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do and I am not ashamed to say that yes, I lock food away from my 10 yo child. At 10 yo he weights 150 lbs. Yes, 150 lbs. Without the lock and learning to self-regulate, he would've ballooned even further. Here is the lock we use. He has full access to apples, bananas, berries. We don't have bread in the house and sweets are limited to fiber bars. ANd if he wants ice cream, he has to bike for it.

https://www.amazon.com/Refrigerator-Drawer-Freezer-Cabinet-REZIPO/dp/B07JBYM53N/ref=asc_df_B07JBYM53N/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=242029067247&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5277249714090130381&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9008148&hvtargid=pla-744292502392&psc=1

He's not learning to "self" regulate. He's learning food = control.

NP here. What's the answer then? Her son weighs 150 pounds. If she lets him to go into obesity as a child, which may be a life long condition, is that preferable?

Not having cookies isn't a health problem. Being obese is a health problem. What's a parent to do?

I'm the quoted PP. A recurring theme of this thread appears to be a disconnect between food relationships in childhood/adolescence and food relationships in adulthood.

OP and the parent with the 150 pound 10 year old may dodge the dreaded obesity (which, let's be honest, is often code for "I don't want my child to be fat" as much or more than it is "I don't want my child to have health issues"). None of us want our children to struggle with weight. Aside from the obvious health concerns, life is harder as an overweight person. We don't want our kids to endure that. But we have to be very careful that we don't inadvertently send a message to our kids that fat = less lovable.

You asked "what's a parent to do?" In the case of OP, I'd go the psych route. There's got to be an underlying psych component there. It could be the supplements to help with ADHD; it could be anxiety combined with impulsivity of ADHD, or something along those lines. In the case of PP with the 150 pound ten year old, I'd talk to ped and possibly seek consultation with an endocrinologist. If a physiological reason is ruled out, then back to the psych route. ALL of this assumes people have the financial resources to pursue these options and most people don't because good mental health care in this country is unacceptably inaccessible. Not to knock pediatricians, but most of them are ill-equipped for this type of problem. "Just don't buy those foods" isn't the answer here. If only it were that simple!

At the very least, I'd read. I have a friend who is an eating disorder specialist. I'll ask if she has any book recommendations for parents and report back. There are a lot of hacks out there peddling "health advice" that is anything but healthy.

I am, as an adult, finally untangling my food and body issues. It's hard. I have a frustratingly picky child who only wants to eat carbohydrates. I had these visions of raising a child who ate healthy, well-balanced meals willingly, whom I would raise to make great food choices so he wouldn't grow up to struggle with his weight. I think we're probably going to succeed at raising a healthy child with a healthy weight and a healthy relationship with food. But it's taking a lot of damn work. I am not sitting on some lofty perch offering advice about something I know nothing about. I live this, and have lived it, for decades. I am working with my own doctors and therapists on this, as well as DC's providers for him.

I think it's normal for parents to assert control when they see their child doing something that could lead them to harm. We'd snatch their hands back from a hot stove, right? This particular hot stove, though, is complicated and has long-term implications that aren't necessarily obvious.

But I hope people will see and take to heart the warnings from the PPs who are living with the repercussions of food control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 15 y o with ADHD was like this. Wed wake up and have no food left to pack for lunch. So, what happens if you “close the kitchen”? At 9 pm our kitchen is closed and no one is allow to cook, open the cabinets, etc for anything except water. I pit a post it on the fridge & pantry “closed til 6 am”, It’s a hard rule, and it worked for her.

I also have a shelf with snack food that is labeled “lunch boxes only”. That way no one eats the lunch stuff. A drawer in the fridge labeled” for snacking” has fruit and cheese sticks in it.

If this hadn’t worked I would have locked it all up but maybe you don’t need to go that far.

My mom was a control freak like this. And now her kids have weird body issues.

You need to teach them moderation. She’s going to move out one day and it’ll be OK to have a cookie at night.

18:47 from page 3 here. I'm all ears - please tell me how to teach moderation to my 16 yo in this area.

How about not keeping cookies in the house? When you go out to lunch, you can have one cookie for dessert? Or, at the grocery store, we buy one cookie from the bakery section as a treat?

You can’t have a bunch of junk food in the house, anxious/poor impulse control kids, and then put a lock on the pantry door.

This type of shit comes up in therapy years later... my mom was a control freak, and bought tons of cookies, but wouldn’t let me eat the cookies, and then shamed me when I ate the cookies, and then I used my babysitting money to buy cookies and hide them from her...

Clearly, you didn't read my post. I don't have cookies in the house (and even if I did, rationing 'one cookie for dessert'? Talk about 'control issues'). It's 'highly desirable' items that he cannot self-regulate with and it's not just food items.

So, to get back to your advice to 'teach moderation', how do you suggest moderation be taught - other than not buying cookies? What about other kids in the house who are able to self-regulate? Why shouldn't theybe allowed to have Goldfish and boxed chocolate milk just because their older brother can't regulate himself? What kind of issues do you think they'll grow up to have because their food choices were determined by their older brother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 15 y o with ADHD was like this. Wed wake up and have no food left to pack for lunch. So, what happens if you “close the kitchen”? At 9 pm our kitchen is closed and no one is allow to cook, open the cabinets, etc for anything except water. I pit a post it on the fridge & pantry “closed til 6 am”, It’s a hard rule, and it worked for her.

I also have a shelf with snack food that is labeled “lunch boxes only”. That way no one eats the lunch stuff. A drawer in the fridge labeled” for snacking” has fruit and cheese sticks in it.

If this hadn’t worked I would have locked it all up but maybe you don’t need to go that far.

My mom was a control freak like this. And now her kids have weird body issues.

You need to teach them moderation. She’s going to move out one day and it’ll be OK to have a cookie at night.

18:47 from page 3 here. I'm all ears - please tell me how to teach moderation to my 16 yo in this area.

How about not keeping cookies in the house? When you go out to lunch, you can have one cookie for dessert? Or, at the grocery store, we buy one cookie from the bakery section as a treat?

You can’t have a bunch of junk food in the house, anxious/poor impulse control kids, and then put a lock on the pantry door.

This type of shit comes up in therapy years later... my mom was a control freak, and bought tons of cookies, but wouldn’t let me eat the cookies, and then shamed me when I ate the cookies, and then I used my babysitting money to buy cookies and hide them from her...

Clearly, you didn't read my post. I don't have cookies in the house (and even if I did, rationing 'one cookie for dessert'? Talk about 'control issues'). It's 'highly desirable' items that he cannot self-regulate with and it's not just food items.

So, to get back to your advice to 'teach moderation', how do you suggest moderation be taught - other than not buying cookies? What about other kids in the house who are able to self-regulate? Why shouldn't theybe allowed to have Goldfish and boxed chocolate milk just because their older brother can't regulate himself? What kind of issues do you think they'll grow up to have because their food choices were determined by their older brother?

Clearly there is nothing you can do except go back to your food locker.

[Anonymous]

..Clearly there is nothing you can do except go back to your food locker.

Deflection fail. You really don't know how to teach 'moderation' so this is all you can say. Don't know why you thought you had anything to contribute.

[Anonymous]

OP are you sure the supplements aren't making them nervous, unable to sleep, or ravenous? Rule that out before trying to solve this from a behavior angle.

[Anonymous]

OMG i am so happy OP posted. I have this problem with my ADHD DD 11 years old. DD is on meds, gets snack after dinner, but will binge eat a box of cereal, etc. What we do to manage is the following: all snacks are put in a blue ikea bag and kept locked in my home office because we don’t have a pantry. I bring out the bag so she can prepare her lunch and then lock it up again. In the mornings I have her select her after school snack and that is what is left out for her. When I am more organized i put the portion in a zip lock bag. For the cereal I do the same thing: put portions in zip lock bags and lock up the rest.

Because baking and wrecking the kitchen is a thing with her too, flour and pancake mixes are also locked away. I recently found a food locker on amazon that can be used in the refrigerator. I will soon use it to lock up referi gera-te d foods too.

[Anonymous]

To the OP and Anonymous " ...My DD age 10 is a binger and late night snacker, and she also has ADHD and anxiety."

Our adult DD has same issues - the not settling down at night could be a sign of Bi-Polar. Highly recommend seeing a therapist who specializes in these areas. You never know how much better our life is now that we have on her correctly assessed and on a monthly injectable (administered by the doctor). Ours has Bi-Polar#2 which is the worst of the worst diseases and she suffers all the same issues as yours however, ours has an IQ of 45. We unfortunately won't get anywhere with counseling as she cannot comprehend the world around her.

We've had a bicycle lock on the fridge/freeze (didn't last long - she figured out how to break it and the fridge) and have resorted to a cabinet in our bedroom for anything she might eat from the pantry. The only thing in the main pantry are "inedible" grab-n-go's like rice, potatoes, seasoning packets, dog/cat food and canned foods. It's really sad, but it's reality - she's 5'8 and just under 300 lbs with sky-high cholesterol. She sneaks food and junk at the daytime program she attends, so the newest strategy for us is to work with the program administrators to only allow her access to her "packed" lunch. Unfortunately, there's no magic solution. Good luck to you both.

[Anonymous]

Put fruit in the cabinet. Then buy a bin to hide the other things until you need. I would be upset to find a lock.