Does anyone else have a lock on their pantry? Can you recommend one?
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Anonymous
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I just don’t buy anymore stuff. So, if they eat a full package of cookies over two days, we’ll then there’s no more cookies for ten days (I buy that type of thing every other week). Same with sweet cereals. No kore junk to eat? Then grab those carrots!
I’d have no issue with s locking pantry. I’ve just never thought of it before. My kids are going to aftercare next year do they will need to pack an extra snack, so it will be preportioned. |
Anonymous
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We have this issue with a 7 year old and I'm glad we're not the only ones. We went for years not buying any Cheerios or cereal of any kind because he would binge eat it. We almost stopped buying bread all together. I've tried to the closed kitchen approach and so many many other approaches. One of the therapists we worked with suggested providing the binging food but in tiny pieces because it tricks the mind into thinking you're eating more of it. I don't know. It's ongoing. We haven't locked the pantry yet I've though about it.
We don't have cookies in the house unless a relative or someone sends them to us, which happens more often than you'd think. There is no way we can have granola bars in the house. The binging isn't really even about sweets, it's cucumbers, bread, dry plain Cheerios, plain eggos, unsweetened applesauce, bananas, etc.. If I buy a bunch of bananas, I can put two out that are visible but have to hide the rest. It's just not healthy to eat five bananas in one day. I've found that sometimes small things help. I put a clean washcloth over the bananas and it stops the visible trigger. |
Anonymous
| Wow. Why is your sleep more important than attending to your kids? Why are they up and about while you are sleeping? |
Anonymous
My post is above. We also don't let them eat while watching TV or eat anywhere besides seated at the table. My goal is mindfulness. You're eating that? That's totally fine. But, at least be present and aware when you eat it. |
Anonymous
| PP, I’m going with the same approach re: mindfulness about eating. My DD seems to inhale food while using her laptop. I don’t think she’s even noticing what she eats. |
Anonymous
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Over-stuffing is a symptom.
Are they on pharmaceuticals? |
Anonymous
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I've got 3 kids between 16 and 12. The boys (oldest/youngest kids) have ADHD. it's my 16 yo that can't/won't self-regulate. Just after the new year, I bought a 'food locker' from Walmart. It's a big plastic bin that I've got a combination lock on and put in the highly desirable items - this isn't just food, but it's also things like the Xbox and cell phone. Of course, I've tried everything that folks have suggested: discussions about health, choices, kitchen closed, portioning out things, not fair to others to eat everything, trust issues, etc. Nothing worked and, in desperation and frustration, I got the 'food locker'.
My life has gotten SO much better since the introduction of the food locker and my relationship with DS has also improved. I'm not haranguing him about food that he's eaten (and shouldn't have). His siblings are able to include desirable foods in their lunches. I don't have to try and figure out how he bypassed the X-Box controls, don't have to worry about him being on it or his phone in the middle of the night. It's unfortunate but it's brought us peace of mind. |
Anonymous
+1. You are trying to address the issue backwards |
Anonymous
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I agree that you need to address it as an issue relating to their inability to sleep at night beyond just the snacking.
I would definitely lock the pantry from now and don’t keep any sugary or carb foods on the counter/fridge/freezer. And replace overnight calories with an approved snack before bed/toothbrushing. I would also put bells on their door handles so that you can hear them getting up at night and you and DH take turns being the parent on duty overnight for a few weeks to retrain them out of the habit of wandering the house at night. I agree that you need to work on the evening routine. Make sure they are getting enough exercise daily, make sure there are no screens for at least the last hour and a half before bedtime. For my kids we set them up with a bluetooth speaker and I play audiobooks for them from an old retired phone. I turn the wifi off at night and there are no games on it so all they can do is listen to pre-downloaded audiobooks and songs. I have one for each kid (the oldest one is like an iphone 3). |
Anonymous
It was only a matter of time before the Sanctimommy joined us. Lol! Not OP but I don’t blame her. We working parents in our 40s need decent sleep to function at work and at home and care for our SN kids. Especially if the parents also suffer from anxiety or depression or ADHD also. |
Anonymous
| I have a pantry lock - it's a keypad/combination one that I just bought at Home Depot. |
Anonymous
| I have locks on quite a few doors. Both the pantry and the door to the basement are locked. My toddlers couldn’t stay out and they’d leave the door open and it was unsafe for my crawling baby. Use locks if it makes your life easier. They’re easy to install and use. I used one after I found a toddler sneaking an almond to the baby. |
Anonymous
| My DD age 10 is a binger and late night snacker, and she also has ADHD and anxiety. She can’t self regulate at all, and does exactly what the OP writes about. Entire packages of Girl Scout cookies were disappearing overnight in addition to large bags of tortilla chips, ritz crackers, popcorn. I finally put a lock on the pantry at night. It has a code i need to enter, not a key. At first, for a week, I caught DD every night anxiously trying to punch coded into the lock. For her it’s clearly an anxiety thing. So OP you might want to consider anxiety on top of ADHD. Now that she knows she can’t access it she is still anxiously pacing around at night and can’t settle down for her. Thunder storm phobias, strange noises, spiders, you name it... anything except bed. We need to get her to a therapist and perhaps consider medication. The food binging was clearly masking deeper anxiety issues. |
Anonymous
I’m chiming in as an adult with ADHD who massively binged at that age exactly — my experience may be helpful, or it may not, FWIW. The overeating was absolutely a symptom of my depression/anxiety compounded by boredom. There was healthy fruit available but it didn’t provide immediate gratification the way carbs did. My parents put a lock on the pantry, but I still figured out how to unlock it. I learned to be smarter about hiding food wrappers; I took to taking the empty packages into the woods behind our house, but always got caught in the end. Locking up food has some residual impacts on me. I inhale carb foods quickly, like there’s a subconscious fear it’s going to be taken away. I feel like I have to sneak occasional bites of junk food away from my spouse, even though he wouldn’t ever judge me. But as an adult, I no longer binged junk food regularly, just occasionally like after a breakup, extreme boredom, etc. If this is something your kids need, I’d suggest a few things: tell them this isn’t about the food, but rather about helping them. Don’t make this about their physical health, don’t require “exercise.” That’s ripe for developing self-image issues. Scheduling more activities and distractions are good, but don’t do it because they need to make up for the junk food. They’ll just grow up viewing physical activity as punishment. And I would check in on the possibility of the binging as a symptom. |
Anonymous
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PP again — chiming in again to clarify that I don’t think locking up food taught me anything. I would have grown out of it anyway.
I do think there were other solutions (more involvement and activities to distract me, medication or therapy to address depression), but the need to protect the food supply was very real. |