Does anyone else have a lock on their pantry? Can you recommend one?

[Anonymous]

This needs evaluation as disordered eating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Over-stuffing is a symptom.
Are they on pharmaceuticals?

+1. You are trying to address the issue backwards

I’m chiming in as an adult with ADHD who massively binged at that age exactly — my experience may be helpful, or it may not, FWIW.

The overeating was absolutely a symptom of my depression/anxiety compounded by boredom. There was healthy fruit available but it didn’t provide immediate gratification the way carbs did. My parents put a lock on the pantry, but I still figured out how to unlock it. I learned to be smarter about hiding food wrappers; I took to taking the empty packages into the woods behind our house, but always got caught in the end.

Locking up food has some residual impacts on me. I inhale carb foods quickly, like there’s a subconscious fear it’s going to be taken away. I feel like I have to sneak occasional bites of junk food away from my spouse, even though he wouldn’t ever judge me. But as an adult, I no longer binged junk food regularly, just occasionally like after a breakup, extreme boredom, etc.

If this is something your kids need, I’d suggest a few things: tell them this isn’t about the food, but rather about helping them. Don’t make this about their physical health, don’t require “exercise.” That’s ripe for developing self-image issues. Scheduling more activities and distractions are good, but don’t do it because they need to make up for the junk food. They’ll just grow up viewing physical activity as punishment.

And I would check in on the possibility of the binging as a symptom.

Yep. I put on a little weight pre-puberty and that, combined with impulsive eating/perceived overeating due to anxiety and poor executive family, provoked a less-than-helpful response from adults in my life. The more restrictions there were on eating, the more I felt the compulsion to eat. The more attention there was on my eating, the more I felt the compulsion to eat. It's a vicious, vicious spiral with lifelong implications. I slimmed down in adolescence, but my relationship with food and body image never recovered.

Locking the cabinets, confrontations, etc. can lead to a lifetime of disordered eating. The more you and DH try to exercise "control" (I realize your intentions are good, but it probably feels controlling to your kids) over their eating, the worse the behavior will get. They could learn to hide it from you by bingeing in secret, for example. In high school, I had a friend with severe bulimia who used to drive thru fast food restaurants and/or stop at the convenience store and binge in her car. When she was done, she disposed of the evidence (the car trash, and later the food itself by purging) so her mom (who watched what she ate) wouldn't know.

This type of eating is a symptom. They call it "eating your feelings" for a reason. The only way to healthily address it is to address the underlying issue. That kind of eating doesn't feel good after the impulse has passed. It brings on guilt and shame, or defiance.

This is a job for a good therapist.

The decision to try medication is deeply personal, but I can tell you in my experience, medication has helped with my impulsivity, anxiety, and executive function, all of which have helped me make better lifestyle choice. I do not take stimulants for a variety of reasons. An important note about stimulants, as PPs have mentioned, is that stimulants can cause appetite suppression during the day that ends in ravenous eating at night when the medication has worn off.

Please know I'm not flaming you at all. I have a kid with alarming eating habits and I struggle with it as well. I feel like I'm being forced to deal with my own baggage in order to parent DC. You just want your kids to be healthy. Sending you love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Over-stuffing is a symptom.
Are they on pharmaceuticals?

+1. You are trying to address the issue backwards

I’m chiming in as an adult with ADHD who massively binged at that age exactly — my experience may be helpful, or it may not, FWIW.

The overeating was absolutely a symptom of my depression/anxiety compounded by boredom. There was healthy fruit available but it didn’t provide immediate gratification the way carbs did. My parents put a lock on the pantry, but I still figured out how to unlock it. I learned to be smarter about hiding food wrappers; I took to taking the empty packages into the woods behind our house, but always got caught in the end.

Locking up food has some residual impacts on me. I inhale carb foods quickly, like there’s a subconscious fear it’s going to be taken away. I feel like I have to sneak occasional bites of junk food away from my spouse, even though he wouldn’t ever judge me. But as an adult, I no longer binged junk food regularly, just occasionally like after a breakup, extreme boredom, etc.

If this is something your kids need, I’d suggest a few things: tell them this isn’t about the food, but rather about helping them. Don’t make this about their physical health, don’t require “exercise.” That’s ripe for developing self-image issues. Scheduling more activities and distractions are good, but don’t do it because they need to make up for the junk food. They’ll just grow up viewing physical activity as punishment.

And I would check in on the possibility of the binging as a symptom.

Yep. I put on a little weight pre-puberty and that, combined with impulsive eating/perceived overeating due to anxiety and poor executive family, provoked a less-than-helpful response from adults in my life. The more restrictions there were on eating, the more I felt the compulsion to eat. The more attention there was on my eating, the more I felt the compulsion to eat. It's a vicious, vicious spiral with lifelong implications. I slimmed down in adolescence, but my relationship with food and body image never recovered.

Locking the cabinets, confrontations, etc. can lead to a lifetime of disordered eating. The more you and DH try to exercise "control" (I realize your intentions are good, but it probably feels controlling to your kids) over their eating, the worse the behavior will get. They could learn to hide it from you by bingeing in secret, for example. In high school, I had a friend with severe bulimia who used to drive thru fast food restaurants and/or stop at the convenience store and binge in her car. When she was done, she disposed of the evidence (the car trash, and later the food itself by purging) so her mom (who watched what she ate) wouldn't know.

This type of eating is a symptom. They call it "eating your feelings" for a reason. The only way to healthily address it is to address the underlying issue. That kind of eating doesn't feel good after the impulse has passed. It brings on guilt and shame, or defiance.

This is a job for a good therapist.

The decision to try medication is deeply personal, but I can tell you in my experience, medication has helped with my impulsivity, anxiety, and executive function, all of which have helped me make better lifestyle choice. I do not take stimulants for a variety of reasons. An important note about stimulants, as PPs have mentioned, is that stimulants can cause appetite suppression during the day that ends in ravenous eating at night when the medication has worn off.

Please know I'm not flaming you at all. I have a kid with alarming eating habits and I struggle with it as well. I feel like I'm being forced to deal with my own baggage in order to parent DC. You just want your kids to be healthy. Sending you love.

PP here. Poor executive function, not family. LOL.

[Anonymous]

We have this installed for one cabinet and it’s quite effective and I think that if you took the remotes then it would lock.

https://www.amazon.com/Safety-1st-Adhesive-Magnetic-System/dp/B076QN2V4Q/ref=pd_sbs_75_1/142-9907423-6507421?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B076QN2V4Q&pd_rd_r=f270f402-80b7-11e9-aff7-7b8b27abc5ce&pd_rd_w=csmf9&pd_rd_wg=TV6XA&pf_rd_p=588939de-d3f8-42f1-a3d8-d556eae5797d&pf_rd_r=G6ZXANS5RDSV3KSGNGT5&psc=1&refRID=G6ZXANS5RDSV3KSGNGT5

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No meds. Just supplements like focus factor and one was taking Vayarin which is just intensified omegas. I do sometimes give them Benedryl or melatonin per pediatrician suggestion. But they are not on anything prescription.

Intensified omegas (or even just omegas/fish oil) can rev up the system, and focus factor probably has something psychoactive. OK just looked it up. DHA and B vitamins, both of which can be very stimulating. These may be making it harder to sleep and maybe causing hunger. I would reduce and then discontinue for a while to see if things improve and reevaluate their needs with a professional. I would do this before considering eating disorder or even getting a lock. Do you use melatonin for sleep? That could be considered with professional help. I agree with healthy protein snack like PBJ and milk or cheese or yogurt before bed. Do you have a psychiatrist or developmental pediatrician involved?

[Anonymous]

p.s. I say this because my son who is sensitive to medications tried B vitamins and omegas and both made him revved up so we had to discontinue. Melatonin has helped with sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Over-stuffing is a symptom.
Are they on pharmaceuticals?

+1. You are trying to address the issue backwards

Both of you need to read the thread before you post. OP already addressed this a while back. No "pharmaceuticals."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Over-stuffing is a symptom.
Are they on pharmaceuticals?

+1. You are trying to address the issue backwards

I’m chiming in as an adult with ADHD who massively binged at that age exactly — my experience may be helpful, or it may not, FWIW.

The overeating was absolutely a symptom of my depression/anxiety compounded by boredom. There was healthy fruit available but it didn’t provide immediate gratification the way carbs did. My parents put a lock on the pantry, but I still figured out how to unlock it. I learned to be smarter about hiding food wrappers; I took to taking the empty packages into the woods behind our house, but always got caught in the end.

Locking up food has some residual impacts on me. I inhale carb foods quickly, like there’s a subconscious fear it’s going to be taken away. I feel like I have to sneak occasional bites of junk food away from my spouse, even though he wouldn’t ever judge me. But as an adult, I no longer binged junk food regularly, just occasionally like after a breakup, extreme boredom, etc.

If this is something your kids need, I’d suggest a few things: tell them this isn’t about the food, but rather about helping them. Don’t make this about their physical health, don’t require “exercise.” That’s ripe for developing self-image issues. Scheduling more activities and distractions are good, but don’t do it because they need to make up for the junk food. They’ll just grow up viewing physical activity as punishment.

And I would check in on the possibility of the binging as a symptom.

Yep. I put on a little weight pre-puberty and that, combined with impulsive eating/perceived overeating due to anxiety and poor executive family, provoked a less-than-helpful response from adults in my life. The more restrictions there were on eating, the more I felt the compulsion to eat. The more attention there was on my eating, the more I felt the compulsion to eat. It's a vicious, vicious spiral with lifelong implications. I slimmed down in adolescence, but my relationship with food and body image never recovered.

Locking the cabinets, confrontations, etc. can lead to a lifetime of disordered eating. The more you and DH try to exercise "control" (I realize your intentions are good, but it probably feels controlling to your kids) over their eating, the worse the behavior will get. They could learn to hide it from you by bingeing in secret, for example. In high school, I had a friend with severe bulimia who used to drive thru fast food restaurants and/or stop at the convenience store and binge in her car. When she was done, she disposed of the evidence (the car trash, and later the food itself by purging) so her mom (who watched what she ate) wouldn't know.

This type of eating is a symptom. They call it "eating your feelings" for a reason. The only way to healthily address it is to address the underlying issue. That kind of eating doesn't feel good after the impulse has passed. It brings on guilt and shame, or defiance.

This is a job for a good therapist.

The decision to try medication is deeply personal, but I can tell you in my experience, medication has helped with my impulsivity, anxiety, and executive function, all of which have helped me make better lifestyle choice. I do not take stimulants for a variety of reasons. An important note about stimulants, as PPs have mentioned, is that stimulants can cause appetite suppression during the day that ends in ravenous eating at night when the medication has worn off.

Please know I'm not flaming you at all. I have a kid with alarming eating habits and I struggle with it as well. I feel like I'm being forced to deal with my own baggage in order to parent DC. You just want your kids to be healthy. Sending you love.

Not OP but this is all very helpful. We've been struggling with how to approach this for years and PPs posts are the reasons why. We don't want to cause more problems down the road.

We have to figure out the underlying issue but my DS is 7 and I'm not sure how therapy would work with a 7 year old. He absolutely has an emotional response that he's trying to control by eating, whether he's bored, tired, anxious, angry, etc.

[Anonymous]

We have a snack cabinet we started locking up when DS hit middle school. He gained so much weight suddenly he had stretch marks! It was an old cabinet in the basement we added a combination padlock to.

So all the things he likes to binge on are locked away. Individual portions are put out daily -- so he eats 3 cookies, not a whole box.

His weight is under control now.

[Anonymous]

Getting a handy man has been VERY hard for us too. But, if you find one, it would be worth investing on a pre-fab cabinet with locks. Good luck. I’m in the same boat re food.

[Anonymous]

OP here. We decided to bite the bullet and put on a lock with a keypad. Kids not happy and were trying obsessively to figure out the code.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 15 y o with ADHD was like this. Wed wake up and have no food left to pack for lunch. So, what happens if you “close the kitchen”? At 9 pm our kitchen is closed and no one is allow to cook, open the cabinets, etc for anything except water. I pit a post it on the fridge & pantry “closed til 6 am”, It’s a hard rule, and it worked for her.

I also have a shelf with snack food that is labeled “lunch boxes only”. That way no one eats the lunch stuff. A drawer in the fridge labeled” for snacking” has fruit and cheese sticks in it.

If this hadn’t worked I would have locked it all up but maybe you don’t need to go that far.

My mom was a control freak like this. And now her kids have weird body issues.

You need to teach them moderation. She’s going to move out one day and it’ll be OK to have a cookie at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Over-stuffing is a symptom.
Are they on pharmaceuticals?

+1. You are trying to address the issue backwards

Both of you need to read the thread before you post. OP already addressed this a while back. No "pharmaceuticals."

The supplements are psychoactive and can have side effects just like pharmaceuticals.

[Anonymous]

I do and I am not ashamed to say that yes, I lock food away from my 10 yo child. At 10 yo he weights 150 lbs. Yes, 150 lbs. Without the lock and learning to self-regulate, he would've ballooned even further. Here is the lock we use. He has full access to apples, bananas, berries. We don't have bread in the house and sweets are limited to fiber bars. ANd if he wants ice cream, he has to bike for it.

https://www.amazon.com/Refrigerator-Drawer-Freezer-Cabinet-REZIPO/dp/B07JBYM53N/ref=asc_df_B07JBYM53N/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=242029067247&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5277249714090130381&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9008148&hvtargid=pla-744292502392&psc=1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do and I am not ashamed to say that yes, I lock food away from my 10 yo child. At 10 yo he weights 150 lbs. Yes, 150 lbs. Without the lock and learning to self-regulate, he would've ballooned even further. Here is the lock we use. He has full access to apples, bananas, berries. We don't have bread in the house and sweets are limited to fiber bars. ANd if he wants ice cream, he has to bike for it.

https://www.amazon.com/Refrigerator-Drawer-Freezer-Cabinet-REZIPO/dp/B07JBYM53N/ref=asc_df_B07JBYM53N/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=242029067247&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5277249714090130381&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9008148&hvtargid=pla-744292502392&psc=1

He's not learning to "self" regulate. He's learning food = control.