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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do and I am not ashamed to say that yes, I lock food away from my 10 yo child. At 10 yo he weights 150 lbs. Yes, 150 lbs. Without the lock and learning to self-regulate, he would've ballooned even further. Here is the lock we use.  He has full access to apples, bananas, berries. We don't have bread in the house and sweets are limited to fiber bars. ANd if he wants ice cream, he has to bike for it.

https://www.amazon.com/Refrigerator-Drawer-Freezer-Cabinet-REZIPO/dp/B07JBYM53N/ref=asc_df_B07JBYM53N/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=242029067247&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5277249714090130381&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9008148&hvtargid=pla-744292502392&psc=1[/quote]

He's not learning to "self" regulate. He's learning food = control.

[/quote]

NP here. What's the answer then? Her son weighs 150 pounds. If she lets him to go into obesity as a child, which may be a life long condition, is that preferable?

Not having cookies isn't a health problem. Being obese is a health problem. What's a parent to do?[/quote]

I'm the quoted PP. A recurring theme of this thread appears to be a disconnect between food relationships in childhood/adolescence and food relationships in adulthood.

OP and the parent with the 150 pound 10 year old may dodge the dreaded obesity (which, let's be honest, is often code for "I don't want my child to be fat" as much or more than it is "I don't want my child to have health issues"). None of us want our children to struggle with weight. Aside from the obvious health concerns, life is harder as an overweight person. We don't want our kids to endure that. But we have to be very careful that we don't inadvertently send a message to our kids that fat = less lovable.

You asked "what's a parent to do?" In the case of OP, I'd go the psych route. There's got to be an underlying psych component there. It could be the supplements to help with ADHD; it could be anxiety combined with impulsivity of ADHD, or something along those lines. In the case of PP with the 150 pound ten year old, I'd talk to ped and possibly seek consultation with an endocrinologist. If a physiological reason is ruled out, then back to the psych route. ALL of this assumes people have the financial resources to pursue these options and most people don't because good mental health care in this country is unacceptably inaccessible. Not to knock pediatricians, but most of them are ill-equipped for this type of problem. "Just don't buy those foods" isn't the answer here. If only it were that simple!

At the very least, I'd read. I have a friend who is an eating disorder specialist. I'll ask if she has any book recommendations for parents and report back. There are a lot of hacks out there peddling "health advice" that is anything but healthy.

I am, as an adult, finally untangling my food and body issues. It's hard. I have a frustratingly picky child who only wants to eat carbohydrates. I had these visions of raising a child who ate healthy, well-balanced meals willingly, whom I would raise to make great food choices so he wouldn't grow up to struggle with his weight. I think we're probably going to succeed at raising a healthy child with a healthy weight and a healthy relationship with food. But it's taking a lot of damn work. I am not sitting on some lofty perch offering advice about something I know nothing about. I live this, and have lived it, for decades. I am working with my own doctors and therapists on this, as well as DC's providers for him.

I think it's normal for parents to assert control when they see their child doing something that could lead them to harm. We'd snatch their hands back from a hot stove, right? This particular hot stove, though, is complicated and has long-term implications that aren't necessarily obvious.

But I hope people will see and take to heart the warnings from the PPs who are living with the repercussions of food control.[/quote]

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