My son thinks he is emotionally abused

[Anonymous]

RE: "And boy scouts have no right to lecture anyone on abuse. That organization is about to go bankrupt after covering it up for years."

The BSA got its act together on these issues in the early 1980s, long before schools, churches and many other organizations did. The pamphlet is part of its Youth Protection Program. There is no "lecturing" going on. Rather, the kind of attention to abuse issues reflected in this post is precisely the function of that pamphlet and the many other similar publications of other organizations that have followed. And yes, later this year the BSA is expected to file for financial reorganization under the bankruptcy code so it can establish a fund to make payments to those abused in the early 80's and before. I do not find anything lecturing or irresponsible about the BSA's actions here.

[Anonymous]

Yelling isn’t the healthiest way to express anger/frustration... but it isn’t “emotionally abusive”. The “get your shoes on!!!” Scenario is NOT the problem the Boy Scouts are trying to address. It’s important that the kid understand the difference between normal expressions of anger and frustration and abuse or, sigh, he’ll grow up thinking that if someone expresses anger/frustration at him... he is being abused!!! That’s equally unhealthy and bordering narcissism.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t understand what emotional abuse is.

Seriously. It minimizes real abuse when any situation a kid doesn’t like can be classified as abuse. It’s not helping anyone, let alone the kid.

Give him words for what he’s feeling. Frustration, anger, unfairness, etc. Help him verbalize what he doesn’t like about his family dynamic. You can also come up with actions you can take to improve the dynamic. However, it’s ridiculous to validate that “he’s emotionally abused” because he misunderstood what that means.

My mom was borderline emotionally abusive. Op does set off some red flags that she might be too.

Different poster and same.

The fact that she admits to yelling at her kid regularly but doesn’t think it’s an issue, the fact that she is jumping to “he’s being oversensitive.” Definitely some red flags.

+1

Regular yelling at your kids is not normal or healthy.

Well I'm not sure it isn't "normal" but would agree that it isn't healthy.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for posting this op. I could have written this exact thing except it’s my dd age 10.

She says I yell in the morning but I only raise my voice a bit louder and say “it’s time to go. Let’s go!” This is only after asking her 5 times before to focus and letting her know every 5 minutes how much time she has left and not to play with toys in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for posting this op. I could have written this exact thing except it’s my dd age 10.

She says I yell in the morning but I only raise my voice a bit louder and say “it’s time to go. Let’s go!” This is only after asking her 5 times before to focus and letting her know every 5 minutes how much time she has left and not to play with toys in the morning.

That is my son. He will tell me he does not like it when I raise my voice or if I interrupt him. Like the 8th time he says that he wishes he cold read another chapter of his book with us at 9 PM when he should be sleeping and I interrupt him mid sentence. He will tell me it makes him sad that I am not listening to him.

On the plus side, he is good with telling me when he is upset. On the bad side, he hasn't figured out why it is that my voice goes up a bit or I am interrupting him.

He also know when I am frustrated or upset and will tell me that he is sad because I am angry. This has happened once. I explained why I was angry, again, and told him that I loved him but it takes a bit of time to get over being angry and that is ok. Hugs and kisses and snuggles followed.

I am glad the OPs kid was able to take something from the conversation and say how he was feeling. While it is not emotional abuse, and the OP told him that, it did bring to light that the boy was feeling left out or not fairly treated. And that is a good outcome. The OP has acknowledged that and is adjusting their parenting style a bit and I think that the boy sees that. All that sends a signal that if I say something to my parent, my parent will listen and take me seriously. In the future, that can prevent something far worse because the child knows the parents is listening.