How to address: employee went over my head to my boss for a promotion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off you must offer said employee M&Ms when they return the office after they secretly met with your boss, but told you they had a dental appointment.

Once they accept the M&Ms, then you know what your boss told you is true. They are after your job.

Next you pretend that you just got fired, and that the employee has been promoted to your position.

Your employee will act sad momentarily, then immediately begin to move into your office.

Once employee has moved in and has had approximately 30 minutes of thinking they are the boss, then you reveal your position. Ask them to give you one good reason not to fire them right then and there.

They will beg at your feet for forgiveness. Employee will offer to do your laundry for a year as punishment.

When it appears that you are on the verge of firing your employee, insists that they "hug it out, bitch." Employee will quickly return to being your loyal right-hand man, but you will still be resentful, then it is time to force the employee to stand atop a box in the middle of the office, wearing a sign that says "LIAR".

This is the only answer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see this as her going over you. She’s just trying to advocate for herself. My boss’s boss has it known that she has an open door policy to those on my level.

My last employer was like this. However, when I went to her about something, she just reiterated what my direct supervisor already told me. Frankly, it taught me to be more discerning about when to go to her. And that was ok. Op, maybe now your employee knows that going over your head won't get her what she wants. Don't take any action now. Let her learn from the experience.

And you, OP, also learned a lesson that she is not someone you want to advocate for in the future. If the employee had told you ahead of time that she was going in to see the Boss then I would have a different response. The fact that she hid it kill the deal for me. There is a lotta learning going around in your office! Fortunately you can be pretty confident that she'll be moving on so now you can take the lessons learned here and apply them with her replacement.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s disrespectful of the employee. It’s the workplace equivalent of going to “dad” when “mom” said no to something. It shows that employee did not respect your authority and/or thought she was more able of convincing your boss than you were, or that you never even tried but told her you did.

Where I work this would not fly. Employee would be told by big boss “I’m not sure why you’re bringing this to me. Your direct supervisor and I discussed it, and I understood she was going to communicate the results of that discussion to you. Did that not take place?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You didn't advocate for your employee when she needed you. So you impacted your relationship at the outset.

Exactly. I did smth similar when I knew my project manager and senior colleague would go out of their way to NOT let it happen. I did get the promotion though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s disrespectful of the employee. It’s the workplace equivalent of going to “dad” when “mom” said no to something. It shows that employee did not respect your authority and/or thought she was more able of convincing your boss than you were, or that you never even tried but told her you did.

Where I work this would not fly. Employee would be told by big boss “I’m not sure why you’re bringing this to me. Your direct supervisor and I discussed it, and I understood she was going to communicate the results of that discussion to you. Did that not take place?”

depends. a discerning big boss would find out what the deal is and why they don't trust their direct boss. I would want to know that about my subordinate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm surprised by all of the answers on this thread. The manager did nothing wrong, the employee handled the situation badly.

Personally, I wouldn't say anything, but I probably wouldn't be in a hurry to push the employees case again any time soon.

The employee lost an ally in you.

+1

Well what would you advise an employee who just gets told over and over that they aren’t getting a raise? It’s been 5 years for me.

I went over my boss’s head and easily got a raise. I was going to leave if that hadn’t worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over yourself and stop being so insecure. Why are you so threatened by your employee talking to your boss?

+1

+2. Your boss backed up what you told her. It's not a bad thing for your employee to have a positive relationship with your boss. I don't see this as being a big deal. Don't hold this against her unless it's part of a broader pattern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm surprised by all of the answers on this thread. The manager did nothing wrong, the employee handled the situation badly.

Personally, I wouldn't say anything, but I probably wouldn't be in a hurry to push the employees case again any time soon.

The employee lost an ally in you.

+1

Well what would you advise an employee who just gets told over and over that they aren’t getting a raise? It’s been 5 years for me.

I went over my boss’s head and easily got a raise. I was going to leave if that hadn’t worked.

I feel in much the same position. My boss is not a great advocate for me, or at least that’s how it seems considering he doesn’t get anything accomplished for me. I have thought about going over his head but I’ve held off. But I think it’s a fair thing to do if you’re ready to basically quit otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm surprised by all of the answers on this thread. The manager did nothing wrong, the employee handled the situation badly.

Personally, I wouldn't say anything, but I probably wouldn't be in a hurry to push the employees case again any time soon.

The employee lost an ally in you.

+1

Well what would you advise an employee who just gets told over and over that they aren’t getting a raise? It’s been 5 years for me.

I went over my boss’s head and easily got a raise. I was going to leave if that hadn’t worked.

I would not have waited 5 years. I know it sounds easy for me to say but it is true. I would not have waited 5 years.

[Anonymous]

This is why I hate working for women. And I am a woman.

You feel threatened and upset that another woman was willing to step up and do something you weren’t and are afraid to do

She doesn’t need to tell you anything so no she didn’t hide anything. That’s pathetic woman thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d like address this but need advice. Employee is seeking a raise and promotion. After discussing this my boss, we made a joint decision that it wasn’t able happen at the time the employee made the request, but we agreed to short time frame to reconsider (6 months). The employee is valued and we wanted to see how some of decision-making factors might look different. I communicated all of this to the employee about a month ago.

She made an appointment to talk with my boss about career advancement. She went out of her way to hide this from me.

My boss reiterated the exact same message that we had agreed to prior.

It’s not the request for a conversation that is the problem. It’s the fact that she purposefully hid it from me.

WWYD? I definitely feel that our relationship is impacted.

I wouldn't think anything. You must not have told her you and boss person discussed and in 6 mos it will be possible, you both need to see XYZ for a promotion, let's put something on the calendar for in 6 months, budget works like this, etc.

If you said a whole lot of nothing, she can certainly get more color from someone else. Who else is she supposed to talk with?

How will YOU look when she comes in with a stellar job offer and quits citing ZERO CAREER PATH from her manager?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
What’s interesting to me is that the employee thought she would get somewhere. OP, sorry if I missed it, but did you let her know both bosses made the decision?

Regardless, I would feel annoyed, so I get it. That said, the real problem is that the employee doesn’t trust you for some reason. You need to figure out why that is, consider whether it’s isolated to just this employee, and then address it.

This is what stood out for me. That and the fact that the boss didn't cave in, and in fact stood by the joint decision. This shows good leadership by the boss because it validates the manager's (OP) role and apparent decision making.

The employee action is concerning. It is a lot like when a kid doesn't like the answer from mom so goes to dad, or vice versa. It show a lack of maturity on the employee's part.

I think that at this point OP needs to begin planning on finding a replacement for the employee. Not because OP wants to fire the employee but because the employee has backed him/herself into a corner for next steps. At this point the employee has three options: step up and do what needs to be done to earn the promotion, wail about the injustice and muck around causing turmoil for other staff, or quit in a huff. Dollars to donuts that this employee chooses doors number 2 or 3.

Alternatively, the employee just wants to know where s/he stands in the company. Right now it sounds like s/he stands pretty low on the list of Maybe Promotions, Maybe in 6 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To play devils advocate, what if the employee was literally just talking with the grand boss about career advancement opportunities? Maybe employee just wanted to get some confirmation/closure as to why they didn't get the promotion.

True. Maybe there are some lateral positions that look appealing. You never go to your direct boss on that as step 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm surprised by all of the answers on this thread. The manager did nothing wrong, the employee handled the situation badly.

Personally, I wouldn't say anything, but I probably wouldn't be in a hurry to push the employees case again any time soon.

The employee lost an ally in you.

+1

Well what would you advise an employee who just gets told over and over that they aren’t getting a raise? It’s been 5 years for me.

I went over my boss’s head and easily got a raise. I was going to leave if that hadn’t worked.

I would not have waited 5 years. I know it sounds easy for me to say but it is true. I would not have waited 5 years.

Ok but would you go over your bosss head?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over yourself and stop being so insecure. Why are you so threatened by your employee talking to your boss?

+1

+2. Your boss backed up what you told her. It's not a bad thing for your employee to have a positive relationship with your boss. I don't see this as being a big deal. Don't hold this against her unless it's part of a broader pattern.

Don't take this personally. Don't retaliate and start mis-treating her. Don't deny her a promotion for good work for years because of it. Grow up.