How to address: employee went over my head to my boss for a promotion

[Anonymous]

Are you woman?

Is your boss a man? The employee?

I feel like if this is the scenario it sets up a subtle dynamic to undermine you. I wouldn’t push for raises for this employee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound controlling. I would tell you to shake it off but it’s clear you’re not going to be able to because you’re choosing to take her actions (which are in no way an attack on you) personally.

No. I’m not controlling. And nothing in my post implied that I thought I was attacked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you woman?

Is your boss a man? The employee?

I feel like if this is the scenario it sets up a subtle dynamic to undermine you. I wouldn’t push for raises for this employee.

We are all women.

[Anonymous]

Get over yourself and stop being so insecure. Why are you so threatened by your employee talking to your boss?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see this as her going over you. She’s just trying to advocate for herself. My boss’s boss has it known that she has an open door policy to those on my level.

But why purposefully hide it? My boss also has open door. That is why she took the meeting.

Did you expect her to come to you and say 'hey, I know you and the boss boss already talked, but I want to hear it for myself and I'm going to have a meeting with him". Why does she have to involve you regarding a meeting between her and your superior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see this as her going over you. She’s just trying to advocate for herself. My boss’s boss has it known that she has an open door policy to those on my level.

But why purposefully hide it? My boss also has open door. That is why she took the meeting.

Did you expect her to come to you and say 'hey, I know you and the boss boss already talked, but I want to hear it for myself and I'm going to have a meeting with him". Why does she have to involve you regarding a meeting between her and your superior?

Because she’s controlling and wants to look good to boss boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get over yourself and stop being so insecure. Why are you so threatened by your employee talking to your boss?

+1

[Anonymous]

You say it was a mutual decision but it wasn’t. You went to your boos and asked for the promotion for your employee. Your boss talked you out of it and made you think it was a mutual decision. You did not advocate strongly enough if you thought she deserved a promotion.

You don’t get to make the decisions and your employee knows that.

FYI - similar happened to me. Boss advocated for promotion but his boss declined. My boss told me the truth that he tried and failed. Six months later and I have a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see this as her going over you. She’s just trying to advocate for herself. My boss’s boss has it known that she has an open door policy to those on my level.

But why purposefully hide it? My boss also has open door. That is why she took the meeting.

Did you expect her to come to you and say 'hey, I know you and the boss boss already talked, but I want to hear it for myself and I'm going to have a meeting with him". Why does she have to involve you regarding a meeting between her and your superior?

Because she’s controlling and wants to look good to boss boss.

What's wrong with this? She's building her brand and is in charge of her career. You sound insecure.

[Anonymous]

Heh. Someone does that with me and my boss and they're in for a rude awakening. I'm much much nicer and more reasonable than he is and advocate for my employees and try to get them the promotions and raises carefully or he'll stomp all over the place. If they go around me it's on their own head. People have been fired by him for a lot less. No idea why he's still in his job (I'm not his only report).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see this as her going over you. She’s just trying to advocate for herself. My boss’s boss has it known that she has an open door policy to those on my level.

But why purposefully hide it? My boss also has open door. That is why she took the meeting.

Did you expect her to come to you and say 'hey, I know you and the boss boss already talked, but I want to hear it for myself and I'm going to have a meeting with him". Why does she have to involve you regarding a meeting between her and your superior?

Because she’s controlling and wants to look good to boss boss.

Sounds like the only controlling one is YOU, op. Your subordinate is advocating for herself where you failed to.

[Anonymous]

No one comes out of this looking good. You look insecure and controlling, and your employee looks desperate. Just move on. If employee thinks she deserves a raise/promotion and you didn’t get her one, or at least a path forward beyond “we’ll maybe visit this again in 6 months,” chances are she’ll find a new job fairly soon anyway.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see the issue. She should be able to speak to your boss whenever she pleases.

[Anonymous]

On the flip side my boss is always telling me no. She tells me it’s her boss to blame. I finally spoke to my boss’s boss and they said my boss had never spoken to him. My boss was lying all along.

[Anonymous]

OP, she owes you no particular loyalty, not to a degree she owes her loyalty to a higher boss (your boss) and the organization.

He accepted her request for a meeting. If it was going to be completely of her, her request should not have been granted.

Mostly you are being way too prickly about this -- and showing your vulnerability. If you're strong enough to be her boss, you're strong enough to weather this without blowing it out of proportion.