How to address: employee went over my head to my boss for a promotion

[Anonymous]

It’s simple.

If you knew about meeting you would have told them not to have it. It’s just the most likely scenario - and very clear by OPs reaction anyway.

If you didn’t know about meeting, employee had a chance to tell the head honcho how they felt and why they wanted a promotion.

It’s also clear you aren’t the decision maker here and it’s your boss who is. So your employee understands that and recognizes she has to make a plea at that level or at a minimum hear it from that level and then asses how much smoke is being blowed up her arse.

[Anonymous]

What’s interesting to me is that the employee thought she would get somewhere. OP, sorry if I missed it, but did you let her know both bosses made the decision?

Regardless, I would feel annoyed, so I get it. That said, the real problem is that the employee doesn’t trust you for some reason. You need to figure out why that is, consider whether it’s isolated to just this employee, and then address it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What’s interesting to me is that the employee thought she would get somewhere. OP, sorry if I missed it, but did you let her know both bosses made the decision?

Regardless, I would feel annoyed, so I get it. That said, the real problem is that the employee doesn’t trust you for some reason. You need to figure out why that is, consider whether it’s isolated to just this employee, and then address it.

This is what stood out for me. That and the fact that the boss didn't cave in, and in fact stood by the joint decision. This shows good leadership by the boss because it validates the manager's (OP) role and apparent decision making.

The employee action is concerning. It is a lot like when a kid doesn't like the answer from mom so goes to dad, or vice versa. It show a lack of maturity on the employee's part.

I think that at this point OP needs to begin planning on finding a replacement for the employee. Not because OP wants to fire the employee but because the employee has backed him/herself into a corner for next steps. At this point the employee has three options: step up and do what needs to be done to earn the promotion, wail about the injustice and muck around causing turmoil for other staff, or quit in a huff. Dollars to donuts that this employee chooses doors number 2 or 3.

[Anonymous]

I agree that OP is coming across really insecure and threatened here and would benefit from some introspection about why that is.

Your boss backed you up. This happened exactly how it should have and now employee has presumably heard twice that they are valued and it’s a short timeline. That’s a good thing.

Out of their way to hide it may again merit a look in the mirror for OP. My directs would say “is it ok if I reach out to <my boss> to get their take/advice” and I would encourage it.

[Anonymous]

She’s allowed to plead her case. If she didn’t meet with your boss directly, maybe she thinks she’s more persuasive than you are. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

I don't think you can do or say anything to the employee, but I don't blame you for feeling slighted that she did an end run around you.
I think it's fine for you boss to have an open door, but she should also let the employees know that "this particular conversation is one that needs to include your supervisor".

I'd ask your boss to do a better job backing you up in this regard. And live and learn, you can only trust the employee as far as you can trust her.

[Anonymous]

I think it reflects more poorly on the employee than the OP because it does sound like they didn't get the right answer from one person and decided to try another (like promotions don't tend to go up to the next level). Grandboss handled it consistently, and I wouldn't bother addressing the meeting with the employee. I've had employees do this to me on occasion, and all they heard was the same thing twice.

[Anonymous]

First off you must offer said employee M&Ms when they return the office after they secretly met with your boss, but told you they had a dental appointment.

Once they accept the M&Ms, then you know what your boss told you is true. They are after your job.

Next you pretend that you just got fired, and that the employee has been promoted to your position.

Your employee will act sad momentarily, then immediately begin to move into your office.

Once employee has moved in and has had approximately 30 minutes of thinking they are the boss, then you reveal your position. Ask them to give you one good reason not to fire them right then and there.

They will beg at your feet for forgiveness. Employee will offer to do your laundry for a year as punishment.

When it appears that you are on the verge of firing your employee, insists that they "hug it out, bitch." Employee will quickly return to being your loyal right-hand man, but you will still be resentful, then it is time to force the employee to stand atop a box in the middle of the office, wearing a sign that says "LIAR".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over yourself and stop being so insecure. Why are you so threatened by your employee talking to your boss?

+1

+100

This should not be such a huge deal. Your employee didn't trust you. That's on YOU not on your employee. Why didn't she trust what you were saying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s allowed to plead her case. If she didn’t meet with your boss directly, maybe she thinks she’s more persuasive than you are. Who cares?

I agree. Self-advocacy here is warranted.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised by all of the answers on this thread. The manager did nothing wrong, the employee handled the situation badly.

Personally, I wouldn't say anything, but I probably wouldn't be in a hurry to push the employees case again any time soon.

The employee lost an ally in you.

[Anonymous]

Well, now the employee knows that the decision did not come from you, but came from your boss. They are aware you are not at fault.

So don't seek to retaliate, please. The employee just wanted to make sure. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised by all of the answers on this thread. The manager did nothing wrong, the employee handled the situation badly.

Personally, I wouldn't say anything, but I probably wouldn't be in a hurry to push the employees case again any time soon.

The employee lost an ally in you.

The employee didn't have a good ally in the first place. It sounds like there was no good reason for denying the promotion, and that the employee was left confused about her actual prospects and the basis for the decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s allowed to plead her case. If she didn’t meet with your boss directly, maybe she thinks she’s more persuasive than you are. Who cares?

I agree. Self-advocacy here is warranted.

Agree. I might feel differently if there had been a more concrete reason for denying the promotion -- that the employee needed to put in more time as a matter of company practice; that they lacked certain skills; even that the company didn't have the funds at the moment. But it sounds all very vague and like they think they can just string the employee along indefinitely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see this as her going over you. She’s just trying to advocate for herself. My boss’s boss has it known that she has an open door policy to those on my level.

My last employer was like this. However, when I went to her about something, she just reiterated what my direct supervisor already told me. Frankly, it taught me to be more discerning about when to go to her. And that was ok. Op, maybe now your employee knows that going over your head won't get her what she wants. Don't take any action now. Let her learn from the experience.