11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm not mad at my DS, he did nothing wrong. I'm mad at these twins and their entitled parents.I haven't cleaned up the mess because we were busy on saturday, visited family on sunday, and I had to work today. I'm also not using the parents, I just want their kids to apologize. I already know they were raised by wolves and won't pay for the damages, I gave up on that. Oh, and one Bird Survived. It's a hummingbird with a nest.

You are just as entitled. You had them over to play with your kid so you didn't have to and ignored what they were doing and neglected to supervise them. You are equally to fault.

You think an 11yo boy wants to play fort nite with his mom instead of his friends? Are you the same one posting about bolting shelves to the wall to childproof for 11 year olds and how they were probably so scared by the loud noise? Lol

[Anonymous]

Lord, OP.

Best of luck to you, you'll need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope not on OP. 11 year olds should not require constant supervision, or locks on doors.

Most 11 year olds still make bad choices. OP regardless should have had that bookshelf secured to the wall years before. It was a disaster waiting to happen. You still need to check on them every so often.

[Anonymous]

NP and the DCUM consensus on this thread is pretty much what's wrong with society and parenting today.

If the other parent had taken ANY responsibility or been the least bit apologetic without trying to blame the victim here, I think I (and OP) would be inclined to be more gracious about her precious little sons who can apparently do no wrong. But this is ridiculous.

How this *should* have gone:
OP to mom: I'm calling b/c I need you to come pick up Larlo and Lurlo. Unfortunately, while they were in Jack's room, they were carelessly fighting over a game controller, and the two of them ran into my study where they know they are not allowed to be, and while they were running around the study and fighting over the controller, they managed to knock over an entire glass bookshelf along with all of its contents. There is glass everywhere, and several precious items have been destroyed in the mess.

Mom of Larlo and Lurlo: Oh my goodness...I'm so sorry! I'll be there right away to pick the boys up.

Upon arrival--the mom sternly lectures her own sons Larlo and Lurlo in front of OP about respecting other people's home/property...demands apology. And waits while they sheepishly apologize to OP. Then turns to OP and says "Again, I'm so so sorry for the damage my boys have caused. We will be discussing what they can do to work off the money to repay you for the damage they caused. What can I do to help clean up the mess?"

****
Instead, the reaction was (shrug) "Boys will be boys. Guess you should have locked the door!"

Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sad the generation we are raising. I would have expected you to beat my ass with a belt regardless of who I was. My parents would have made me clean it up and of course apologize. But then again I would have never done anything like that.

DP This is sad. Physical violence should never be an answer. Of course, the kids shouldn't have broken your things, op but, a beating is not going to change anything.

How about 11 minutes of time out for each 11 year old? Or 11 minutes less time playing favorite video games?

I don't know you, PP, but I love you. This is just the right amount of snark for the ridiculous nut-jobs that are passing themselves off as parents on this thread. smdh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP and the DCUM consensus on this thread is pretty much what's wrong with society and parenting today.

If the other parent had taken ANY responsibility or been the least bit apologetic without trying to blame the victim here, I think I (and OP) would be inclined to be more gracious about her precious little sons who can apparently do no wrong. But this is ridiculous.

How this *should* have gone:
OP to mom: I'm calling b/c I need you to come pick up Larlo and Lurlo. Unfortunately, while they were in Jack's room, they were carelessly fighting over a game controller, and the two of them ran into my study where they know they are not allowed to be, and while they were running around the study and fighting over the controller, they managed to knock over an entire glass bookshelf along with all of its contents. There is glass everywhere, and several precious items have been destroyed in the mess.

Mom of Larlo and Lurlo: Oh my goodness...I'm so sorry! I'll be there right away to pick the boys up.

Upon arrival--the mom sternly lectures her own sons Larlo and Lurlo in front of OP about respecting other people's home/property...demands apology. And waits while they sheepishly apologize to OP. Then turns to OP and says "Again, I'm so so sorry for the damage my boys have caused. We will be discussing what they can do to work off the money to repay you for the damage they caused. What can I do to help clean up the mess?"

****
Instead, the reaction was (shrug) "Boys will be boys. Guess you should have locked the door!"

Unbelievable.

+1

Kids these days are screwed. Actual parenting is such a rare thing now. It's sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP and the DCUM consensus on this thread is pretty much what's wrong with society and parenting today.

If the other parent had taken ANY responsibility or been the least bit apologetic without trying to blame the victim here, I think I (and OP) would be inclined to be more gracious about her precious little sons who can apparently do no wrong. But this is ridiculous.

How this *should* have gone:
OP to mom: I'm calling b/c I need you to come pick up Larlo and Lurlo. Unfortunately, while they were in Jack's room, they were carelessly fighting over a game controller, and the two of them ran into my study where they know they are not allowed to be, and while they were running around the study and fighting over the controller, they managed to knock over an entire glass bookshelf along with all of its contents. There is glass everywhere, and several precious items have been destroyed in the mess.

Mom of Larlo and Lurlo: Oh my goodness...I'm so sorry! I'll be there right away to pick the boys up.

Upon arrival--the mom sternly lectures her own sons Larlo and Lurlo in front of OP about respecting other people's home/property...demands apology. And waits while they sheepishly apologize to OP. Then turns to OP and says "Again, I'm so so sorry for the damage my boys have caused. We will be discussing what they can do to work off the money to repay you for the damage they caused. What can I do to help clean up the mess?"

****
Instead, the reaction was (shrug) "Boys will be boys. Guess you should have locked the door!"

Unbelievable.

+1

Kids these days are screwed. Actual parenting is such a rare thing now. It's sad.

Or, for all we know OP kid knocked it down and blamed the other kids. She wasn't paying attention at all to the kids and had a glass shelf not secured to the wall with glass on it. Anyone with common sense and younger kids should know to secure it to the wall. OP needs to take a good chunk of the blame. She took responsibility for those kids and let them behave like that. You are right actual parenting is such a rare thing and OP is a good example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

Maybe it will alarm them into being respectful and following rules in someone else's home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

+1, mine is 10 now and we still don't do a lot of glass or anything breakable. I want a kid friendly house where they can be comfortable. And, anything big or tall or heavy is secured to the wall. Even good kids or adults can easily accidentally tip things over. Glass is a disaster waiting to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

Maybe it will alarm them into being respectful and following rules in someone else's home.

There are no rules in that house. OP used the kids to entertain hers while she did what ever she wanted and ignored them. If there were rules, OP did not enforce the rules, which is a parenting issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

Well, but you're sort of side-stepping the point of the story, aren't you? And that is that the glass shelving full of Tchotckes (whether you are "against" them or not) should not have been falling to begin with because the 11-year-old boys should know better than to run through someone else's home into an off-limits room while recklessly fighting over a video game controller to the point of knocking over the fragile shelf!

Was it an accident that they knocked over the shelf? Sure...to a degree, of course it was! They didn't go into the room with the intent to pull the shelf to the ground and destroy OPs things. But should they be held responsible for their bad judgment (fighting/struggling over possession of an object with their sibling and running through the house, entering a room they weren't supposed to be in and carelessly jostling each other over control of the remote such that they slammed into shelf and created this mess)--YES!!!

Haven't you ever seen old re-runs of the Brady Bunch? "Mom always says, 'Don't play ball in the house!'" You break it, you buy it! They *should* feel a little traumatized that their rough-housing in someone else's home caused damage! And they should be mortified/embarrassed and feel ashamed enough to offer to pay off the damage. And if they don't feel it...then at the very least their PARENT should feel some sense of remorse on their behalf.

[Anonymous]

+1 yes, THIS!

But the way this thread has gone, I fear the next one we'll be reading is about the kids who hit a baseball through the neighbor's window...with DCUM responding "Well what do you expect when you live near kids!!" and "Should have put bars on your windows to protect the glass panes!" and "Kids can't be expected not to play baseball...it was bound to happen, so I hope your insurance covers it!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

Well, but you're sort of side-stepping the point of the story, aren't you? And that is that the glass shelving full of Tchotckes (whether you are "against" them or not) should not have been falling to begin with because the 11-year-old boys should know better than to run through someone else's home into an off-limits room while recklessly fighting over a video game controller to the point of knocking over the fragile shelf!

Was it an accident that they knocked over the shelf? Sure...to a degree, of course it was! They didn't go into the room with the intent to pull the shelf to the ground and destroy OPs things. But should they be held responsible for their bad judgment (fighting/struggling over possession of an object with their sibling and running through the house, entering a room they weren't supposed to be in and carelessly jostling each other over control of the remote such that they slammed into shelf and created this mess)--YES!!!

Haven't you ever seen old re-runs of the Brady Bunch? "Mom always says, 'Don't play ball in the house!'" You break it, you buy it! They *should* feel a little traumatized that their rough-housing in someone else's home caused damage! And they should be mortified/embarrassed and feel ashamed enough to offer to pay off the damage. And if they don't feel it...then at the very least their PARENT should feel some sense of remorse on their behalf.

If the shelf had been bolted to the wall, it would not have crashed down. The stuff on it, maybe but not the entire shelf. The kids did not go in intending to break it. And, if the shelf was bolted down or OP was watching the kids it probably would never have happened. If they were fighting over a controller, she should have stepped in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP and the DCUM consensus on this thread is pretty much what's wrong with society and parenting today.

If the other parent had taken ANY responsibility or been the least bit apologetic without trying to blame the victim here, I think I (and OP) would be inclined to be more gracious about her precious little sons who can apparently do no wrong. But this is ridiculous.

How this *should* have gone:
OP to mom: I'm calling b/c I need you to come pick up Larlo and Lurlo. Unfortunately, while they were in Jack's room, they were carelessly fighting over a game controller, and the two of them ran into my study where they know they are not allowed to be, and while they were running around the study and fighting over the controller, they managed to knock over an entire glass bookshelf along with all of its contents. There is glass everywhere, and several precious items have been destroyed in the mess.

Mom of Larlo and Lurlo: Oh my goodness...I'm so sorry! I'll be there right away to pick the boys up.

Upon arrival--the mom sternly lectures her own sons Larlo and Lurlo in front of OP about respecting other people's home/property...demands apology. And waits while they sheepishly apologize to OP. Then turns to OP and says "Again, I'm so so sorry for the damage my boys have caused. We will be discussing what they can do to work off the money to repay you for the damage they caused. What can I do to help clean up the mess?"

****
Instead, the reaction was (shrug) "Boys will be boys. Guess you should have locked the door!"

Unbelievable.

+1

Kids these days are screwed. Actual parenting is such a rare thing now. It's sad.

Or, for all we know OP kid knocked it down and blamed the other kids. She wasn't paying attention at all to the kids and had a glass shelf not secured to the wall with glass on it. Anyone with common sense and younger kids should know to secure it to the wall. OP needs to take a good chunk of the blame. She took responsibility for those kids and let them behave like that. You are right actual parenting is such a rare thing and OP is a good example.

You are truly insufferable.
At what point in your world are 11-year-old boys allowed to play video games in the sons room without the mom hovering over them to make sure they don't go into the room that they all knew they were not to go into? Is taking a bathroom break okay for her? Or do you have playdates where your 11-year-olds all hold hands with you and sit at the kitchen table while you make dinner??? You are literally insane.

At some point, you will need to hold your child responsible for his choices (yes...even the "childhood mistakes" that result in unintended, yet very undesirable outcomes--like knocking over glass shelving!) It may surprise you to learn this, but children even as "young" as 11 can be told "don't do this" (such as "don't go in this room" or "don't run in the house" or "don't fight with your brother") and be expected NOT to do it without constant supervision. And if they make a mistake and do those things anyway (and sometimes they will!), then if it causes damage, they also need to be held responsible for results of those actions. That is how you create responsibility and accountability in young humans.