11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember in preschool my kid was invited to a mansion for a playdate and they wanted me to do drop off. As soon as I saw all the expensive breakables EVERYWHERE I stayed. To be honest that same kid is now 12 and I would not leave him there. He is polite and respectful, but clumsy and it is NOT a kid friendly house.

I think kids should respect boundaries, but if you have a fancy pants room with fancy things you may want to go over the rules at the beginning and lock the door.

You think telling an 11 year old the rule isn't sufficient? Why would OP need to also lock the door? The kids were told the room was off limits, at 11 that should have been enough.

[Anonymous]

Sorry op. If you have that breakable of things in your home you need to do a better job of protecting them. It sounds like they bumped into the shelf. They didn’t pick up your birds and throw them. They bumped into a shelf. Why would you have such a precarious set up in the first place? I understand that room is off limits but it also sounds like your ds chased the boys into the room. Sorry, I don’t believe your precious ds is innocent. And since you can’t prove your version of the story I’ll Continue to think your ds chasing them is possible.

If a parent called me and asked for money? I’d seriously hang up and laugh, and share the story with dh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember in preschool my kid was invited to a mansion for a playdate and they wanted me to do drop off. As soon as I saw all the expensive breakables EVERYWHERE I stayed. To be honest that same kid is now 12 and I would not leave him there. He is polite and respectful, but clumsy and it is NOT a kid friendly house.

I think kids should respect boundaries, but if you have a fancy pants room with fancy things you may want to go over the rules at the beginning and lock the door.

There is a huge difference between having breakables everywhere, and having designated places for certain kinds of play, and designated places that are kept very separate (e.g. by a door) that are off limits, or only entered with close supervision.

[Anonymous]

I would never have called the twins’ parents. That’s crazy town in my book. I would never have mentioned it. I would also punish my ds for not controlling his playmates by not invited those boys over again and maybe limiting guests to one at a time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Again. Thanks for all the feedback. I warned all of the other parents to watch out for people like this. My son decided himself to never invite those kids again, and I'm also in the process of getting my broken camera shipped so it can be replaced. Thank God for the warranty I purchased. I'm going to try to find some glue tomorrow to start repairing as many glass birds as I can. Once again, thanks for the help.

Umm . . . what now?

See, OP, you had been reasonable (other than your weird obsession with glass birds, but hey, everyone has their thing). But not you're traveling to crazytown, it appears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry op. If you have that breakable of things in your home you need to do a better job of protecting them. It sounds like they bumped into the shelf. They didn’t pick up your birds and throw them. They bumped into a shelf. Why would you have such a precarious set up in the first place? I understand that room is off limits but it also sounds like your ds chased the boys into the room. Sorry, I don’t believe your precious ds is innocent. And since you can’t prove your version of the story I’ll Continue to think your ds chasing them is possible.

If a parent called me and asked for money? I’d seriously hang up and laugh, and share the story with dh.

You'd hang up and laugh if someone called you to say your pre-teen had destroyed over a thousand dollars worth of stuff in my home and I wanted them to help pay for it? You sound pleasant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Again. Thanks for all the feedback. I warned all of the other parents to watch out for people like this. My son decided himself to never invite those kids again, and I'm also in the process of getting my broken camera shipped so it can be replaced. Thank God for the warranty I purchased. I'm going to try to find some glue tomorrow to start repairing as many glass birds as I can. Once again, thanks for the help.

Umm . . . what now?

See, OP, you had been reasonable (other than your weird obsession with glass birds, but hey, everyone has their thing). But not you're traveling to crazytown, it appears.

You did catch that those were inherited from her grandmother and had sentimental value, right? I'd be sad, too, if someone broke an heirloom from my grandmother.

[Anonymous]

The breakables were in OP's study that was off limits, not all over the house. Frickin whackadoos trying to blame OP for these crappy twins' behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never have called the twins’ parents. That’s crazy town in my book. I would never have mentioned it. I would also punish my ds for not controlling his playmates by not invited those boys over again and maybe limiting guests to one at a time.

Perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let it go and don't invite the children over again. Explain to your son that the number of guests he has over at once needs to decline, and brainstorm with him how he would have handled the situation if he had broken items belonging to a host (i.e. use this as a learning experience).

You need to clean up the mess. Leaving it there is only going to inflame you further. Personally even if they had offered, I wouldn't let 11 year olds clean an area filled with shattered glass anyway.

This. I am very worried about how your son is responding to all of this. It sounds like he was trying to do the right thing but his guests were out of control and then you went out of control, too. He is 11. He must be very scared if you totally lost it. You may need to spend some time rebuilding his trust in you.

Use the suggestions above and also recognize that perhaps you should have been monitoring the children a little bit better. If they were in a room they weren't supposed to be in, and you didn't know, that is a pretty big sign that they needed to be more closely monitored.

I agree that it doesn't sound safe to have an 11 year old boy cleaning up broken shards and shattered glass.

You must have toddlers or preschoolers. You think 11 year olds need to be monitored to the point that you know what room they are in at all times? My 7 year old does not need that type of monitoring. 11 year olds can stay home by themselves! And what evidence do you have that OP's son is somehow traumatized. Why do people keep saying OP totally lost control? This thread is crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never have called the twins’ parents. That’s crazy town in my book. I would never have mentioned it. I would also punish my ds for not controlling his playmates by not invited those boys over again and maybe limiting guests to one at a time.

And here is why kids are so entitled. No consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All you can do is make sure that ALL of the other parents know exactly what happened - those twins went into a private area of the house that they knew was strictly off-limits and did a thousand dollars of damage by being stupid in there. And the parent's response - that they expected that their kids can't behave and that OP should have expected it too, and locked the door.

I'm guessing the twins won't be allowed anywhere for a while. And obviously never back to your house.

And your son can only have 1 friend at a time now since he obviously can't control his guests.

This is a good response.
If it were my kids I would offer to pay but different people have different financial circumstances and I wouldn't it further. Maybe she would have liked to pay but she's embarrassed she can't and reacted in a defensive way. This stinks, OP, but I would drop it right now.
It's 1/3 the fault of the 2 boys who hit the shelf, 1/3 your fault for not locking the door, 1/3 your child's fault for not being able to control his friends. If you think 11 year olds should have known better your child should have known better than to invite so many kids over. It is 0% the other mother's fault.

[Anonymous]

Did you go nuts when you called the other mom? Something off about this.

[Anonymous]

I have a 7yo and think that telling kids that a room is off limits is more than sufficient. I'd be really angry that they were in there, and angrier still that they broke things.

I doubt I'd ask the parents to pay for it, but I would absolutely let the parents know what had happened (they were in an off limits area and broke both expensive and sentimental items).

I'd also be annoyed that my kid didn't alert me ASAP that things were out of control. Again, that's what I expect of my 7yo. But the blame is squarely on the bratty twins. They would not be welcome in my house again.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t pay. Op sounds nuts and who knows what actually happened.