11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP Again. Thanks for all the feedback. I warned all of the other parents to watch out for people like this. My son decided himself to never invite those kids again, and I'm also in the process of getting my broken camera shipped so it can be replaced. Thank God for the warranty I purchased. I'm going to try to find some glue tomorrow to start repairing as many glass birds as I can. Once again, thanks for the help.

What does this mean? You called a bunch of other parents and told them this story? You sent a mass email? What does "people like this" mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry op. If you have that breakable of things in your home you need to do a better job of protecting them. It sounds like they bumped into the shelf. They didn’t pick up your birds and throw them. They bumped into a shelf. Why would you have such a precarious set up in the first place? I understand that room is off limits but it also sounds like your ds chased the boys into the room. Sorry, I don’t believe your precious ds is innocent. And since you can’t prove your version of the story I’ll Continue to think your ds chasing them is possible.

If a parent called me and asked for money? I’d seriously hang up and laugh, and share the story with dh.

You'd hang up and laugh if someone called you to say your pre-teen had destroyed over a thousand dollars worth of stuff in my home and I wanted them to help pay for it? You sound pleasant

Parent of the year right there. I feel bad for their kids.

[Anonymous]

I feel for OP, but also don't think she handled the situation very well.

I have an 11 year old, and would trust one 11 year old completely, two 11 year olds with most things, but group mentality takes over and things get out of hand quickly with groups of three or more. When having groups of kids at my home, my responsibility and level of supervision definitely increases.

I don't think OP needed to supervise closely, as in the same room, but I am concerned that she was "on the other side of the house" and couldn't hear kids running through the house to get to the office area. I'd expect the lead up to the destruction she described to be quite loud. Given the fact the boys started off with some conflict over the number of controllers, I definitely would have checked in again after a few minutes (casually walking by w/laundry or something) to ensure the issue was solved before going to the other side of the house.

Also, not that it excuses the behavior or the lack of apology/remorse, I wonder if OP explicitly stated the office was off limits on this occasion (or even to this particular group of kids).

My DC knows there are certain places off limits when friends are over, for example, the small in home gym that I don't want to be responsible for monitoring, I make it a point of double checking that the door is closed (not locked) and reminding the kids that they are not to use the gym.

However, even given that I feel OP could have done many things differently to avoid the situation and how it was handled, the twins were definitely out of line and should have shown some remorse, apologized and offered to help clean up if not pay for some of the damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

Oh, good grief. The room was OFF LIMITS. The kids were not allowed in there! Of course, OP can have a glass shelf. Are you also the person who said she should be playing w/ her kid instead of making other kids entertain him? These kids are 11. They are old enough to respect boundaries (especially when it is a separate room). Some time w/ parents is great, but most 11 year olds spend most of their play time with friends.

Some of these people are ridiculous. Including the boys' parents. Maybe these people who keep saying that OP should have locked the door or bolted the shelf or whatever are the twins' parents posting. This is nuts. These kids are brats. They should apologize and make restitution. Hope you are out there reading, Twin Offender Parents!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think when you have glass shelves, it’s just kind of risky, anyone could trip and fall and things would shatter and hurt people. Just doesn’t seem sensible. I feel bad for those boys for being blamed for an innocent childhood mistake. I bet they wish they’d never set foot in your house. I agree that your concern is mostly for your objects, not with the safety of the children or whether they might be feeling traumatized p. I’m sure that was very loud!

Let me guess, your kids are toddlers?

Nope, my oldest is 10. I’m just against glass shelves of tschotkies I guess. I’ve heard a cupboard full of glassware crashing, and it’s quite alarming.

Oh, good grief. The room was OFF LIMITS. The kids were not allowed in there! Of course, OP can have a glass shelf. Are you also the person who said she should be playing w/ her kid instead of making other kids entertain him? These kids are 11. They are old enough to respect boundaries (especially when it is a separate room). Some time w/ parents is great, but most 11 year olds spend most of their play time with friends.

Some of these people are ridiculous. Including the boys' parents. Maybe these people who keep saying that OP should have locked the door or bolted the shelf or whatever are the twins' parents posting. This is nuts. These kids are brats. They should apologize and make restitution. Hope you are out there reading, Twin Offender Parents!

I agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Again. Thanks for all the feedback. I warned all of the other parents to watch out for people like this. My son decided himself to never invite those kids again, and I'm also in the process of getting my broken camera shipped so it can be replaced. Thank God for the warranty I purchased. I'm going to try to find some glue tomorrow to start repairing as many glass birds as I can. Once again, thanks for the help.

Umm . . . what now?

See, OP, you had been reasonable (other than your weird obsession with glass birds, but hey, everyone has their thing). But not you're traveling to crazytown, it appears.

You did catch that those were inherited from her grandmother and had sentimental value, right? I'd be sad, too, if someone broke an heirloom from my grandmother.

Me too. And, I love glass girds -- so pretty.

Fair game to OP to warn other parents. It wasn't an accident. The kids disobeyed the rule and caused damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Again. Thanks for all the feedback. I warned all of the other parents to watch out for people like this. My son decided himself to never invite those kids again, and I'm also in the process of getting my broken camera shipped so it can be replaced. Thank God for the warranty I purchased. I'm going to try to find some glue tomorrow to start repairing as many glass birds as I can. Once again, thanks for the help.

What does this mean? You called a bunch of other parents and told them this story? You sent a mass email? What does "people like this" mean?

Oh no - OP, please tell me you didn’t send a thinly-veiled, accusatory email to a group as a “warning” about this family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP and the DCUM consensus on this thread is pretty much what's wrong with society and parenting today.

If the other parent had taken ANY responsibility or been the least bit apologetic without trying to blame the victim here, I think I (and OP) would be inclined to be more gracious about her precious little sons who can apparently do no wrong. But this is ridiculous.

How this *should* have gone:
OP to mom: I'm calling b/c I need you to come pick up Larlo and Lurlo. Unfortunately, while they were in Jack's room, they were carelessly fighting over a game controller, and the two of them ran into my study where they know they are not allowed to be, and while they were running around the study and fighting over the controller, they managed to knock over an entire glass bookshelf along with all of its contents. There is glass everywhere, and several precious items have been destroyed in the mess.

Mom of Larlo and Lurlo: Oh my goodness...I'm so sorry! I'll be there right away to pick the boys up.

Upon arrival--the mom sternly lectures her own sons Larlo and Lurlo in front of OP about respecting other people's home/property...demands apology. And waits while they sheepishly apologize to OP. Then turns to OP and says "Again, I'm so so sorry for the damage my boys have caused. We will be discussing what they can do to work off the money to repay you for the damage they caused. What can I do to help clean up the mess?"

****
Instead, the reaction was (shrug) "Boys will be boys. Guess you should have locked the door!"

Unbelievable.

+++ Exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP and the DCUM consensus on this thread is pretty much what's wrong with society and parenting today.

If the other parent had taken ANY responsibility or been the least bit apologetic without trying to blame the victim here, I think I (and OP) would be inclined to be more gracious about her precious little sons who can apparently do no wrong. But this is ridiculous.

How this *should* have gone:
OP to mom: I'm calling b/c I need you to come pick up Larlo and Lurlo. Unfortunately, while they were in Jack's room, they were carelessly fighting over a game controller, and the two of them ran into my study where they know they are not allowed to be, and while they were running around the study and fighting over the controller, they managed to knock over an entire glass bookshelf along with all of its contents. There is glass everywhere, and several precious items have been destroyed in the mess.

Mom of Larlo and Lurlo: Oh my goodness...I'm so sorry! I'll be there right away to pick the boys up.

Upon arrival--the mom sternly lectures her own sons Larlo and Lurlo in front of OP about respecting other people's home/property...demands apology. And waits while they sheepishly apologize to OP. Then turns to OP and says "Again, I'm so so sorry for the damage my boys have caused. We will be discussing what they can do to work off the money to repay you for the damage they caused. What can I do to help clean up the mess?"

****
Instead, the reaction was (shrug) "Boys will be boys. Guess you should have locked the door!"

Unbelievable.

Such pantomime. Yeah, I’d say all that. But I’m thinking in my head: WTF, OP? You can’t control a bunch of kids in your house? Please stop inviting so many to your home without supervision. And I’d never let my child over there again. I’d also be thankful my kid wasn’t hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP and the DCUM consensus on this thread is pretty much what's wrong with society and parenting today.

If the other parent had taken ANY responsibility or been the least bit apologetic without trying to blame the victim here, I think I (and OP) would be inclined to be more gracious about her precious little sons who can apparently do no wrong. But this is ridiculous.

How this *should* have gone:
OP to mom: I'm calling b/c I need you to come pick up Larlo and Lurlo. Unfortunately, while they were in Jack's room, they were carelessly fighting over a game controller, and the two of them ran into my study where they know they are not allowed to be, and while they were running around the study and fighting over the controller, they managed to knock over an entire glass bookshelf along with all of its contents. There is glass everywhere, and several precious items have been destroyed in the mess.

Mom of Larlo and Lurlo: Oh my goodness...I'm so sorry! I'll be there right away to pick the boys up.

Upon arrival--the mom sternly lectures her own sons Larlo and Lurlo in front of OP about respecting other people's home/property...demands apology. And waits while they sheepishly apologize to OP. Then turns to OP and says "Again, I'm so so sorry for the damage my boys have caused. We will be discussing what they can do to work off the money to repay you for the damage they caused. What can I do to help clean up the mess?"

****
Instead, the reaction was (shrug) "Boys will be boys. Guess you should have locked the door!"

Unbelievable.

Such pantomime. Yeah, I’d say all that. But I’m thinking in my head: WTF, OP? You can’t control a bunch of kids in your house? Please stop inviting so many to your home without supervision. And I’d never let my child over there again. I’d also be thankful my kid wasn’t hurt.

You live in Lala land. Truly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP and the DCUM consensus on this thread is pretty much what's wrong with society and parenting today.

If the other parent had taken ANY responsibility or been the least bit apologetic without trying to blame the victim here, I think I (and OP) would be inclined to be more gracious about her precious little sons who can apparently do no wrong. But this is ridiculous.

How this *should* have gone:
OP to mom: I'm calling b/c I need you to come pick up Larlo and Lurlo. Unfortunately, while they were in Jack's room, they were carelessly fighting over a game controller, and the two of them ran into my study where they know they are not allowed to be, and while they were running around the study and fighting over the controller, they managed to knock over an entire glass bookshelf along with all of its contents. There is glass everywhere, and several precious items have been destroyed in the mess.

Mom of Larlo and Lurlo: Oh my goodness...I'm so sorry! I'll be there right away to pick the boys up.

Upon arrival--the mom sternly lectures her own sons Larlo and Lurlo in front of OP about respecting other people's home/property...demands apology. And waits while they sheepishly apologize to OP. Then turns to OP and says "Again, I'm so so sorry for the damage my boys have caused. We will be discussing what they can do to work off the money to repay you for the damage they caused. What can I do to help clean up the mess?"

****
Instead, the reaction was (shrug) "Boys will be boys. Guess you should have locked the door!"

Unbelievable.

Such pantomime. Yeah, I’d say all that. But I’m thinking in my head: WTF, OP? You can’t control a bunch of kids in your house? Please stop inviting so many to your home without supervision. And I’d never let my child over there again. I’d also be thankful my kid wasn’t hurt.

What do you expect OP to do? Stand in the room every minute that a group of 11 year old boys play video games?

[Anonymous]

The boys have no concept of the value of the items destroyed. Please don't be mad at your son for this unintentional act. Young boys get very wound-up when together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The boys have no concept of the value of the items destroyed. Please don't be mad at your son for this unintentional act. Young boys get very wound-up when together.

This is irrelevant. Doesn’t matter if what they destroyed was worth $2 or $200. An apology was owed to OP, and an offer to make things right by the boys’ parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry op. If you have that breakable of things in your home you need to do a better job of protecting them. It sounds like they bumped into the shelf. They didn’t pick up your birds and throw them. They bumped into a shelf. Why would you have such a precarious set up in the first place? I understand that room is off limits but it also sounds like your ds chased the boys into the room. Sorry, I don’t believe your precious ds is innocent. And since you can’t prove your version of the story I’ll Continue to think your ds chasing them is possible.

If a parent called me and asked for money? I’d seriously hang up and laugh, and share the story with dh.

Wow.
OP, twins' mom finally showed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP and the DCUM consensus on this thread is pretty much what's wrong with society and parenting today.

If the other parent had taken ANY responsibility or been the least bit apologetic without trying to blame the victim here, I think I (and OP) would be inclined to be more gracious about her precious little sons who can apparently do no wrong. But this is ridiculous.

How this *should* have gone:
OP to mom: I'm calling b/c I need you to come pick up Larlo and Lurlo. Unfortunately, while they were in Jack's room, they were carelessly fighting over a game controller, and the two of them ran into my study where they know they are not allowed to be, and while they were running around the study and fighting over the controller, they managed to knock over an entire glass bookshelf along with all of its contents. There is glass everywhere, and several precious items have been destroyed in the mess.

Mom of Larlo and Lurlo: Oh my goodness...I'm so sorry! I'll be there right away to pick the boys up.

Upon arrival--the mom sternly lectures her own sons Larlo and Lurlo in front of OP about respecting other people's home/property...demands apology. And waits while they sheepishly apologize to OP. Then turns to OP and says "Again, I'm so so sorry for the damage my boys have caused. We will be discussing what they can do to work off the money to repay you for the damage they caused. What can I do to help clean up the mess?"

****
Instead, the reaction was (shrug) "Boys will be boys. Guess you should have locked the door!"

Unbelievable.

+++ Exactly

Yes. OP handled it badly. But so did the twin boys' parents. Those twins were probably smirking the whole way home about how they once again got away with something with zero consequences.