11 Year old knocked over shelf, Destroyed belongings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Years ago, while some friends were packing the car to leave, their daughter knocked over a Tiffany lamp and broke it. I didn’t ask for money. It was an accident.

So it was NICE of you not to ask for money for the lamp that their daughter broke, PP. However, you would have been well within reason to ask for it. And more importantly, the parents of the girl should have offered to pay you for it. (And then you could have very kindly declined their offer and waved it off IF YOU WANTED TO DO THAT.)

Just because something is "an accident" doesn't mean one is not responsible for the damage caused. This is true when your teen ACCIDENTALLY hits someone else's car with their own. And it is true when your kid knocks over a friend's Tiffany lamp. The person who caused the damage should take responsibility for causing the damage and make a reasonable attempt to repair it or pay for it to be repaired or replaced. (I can't fathom why this is even a discussion. When did this cease to be common sense and/or behavioral societal norm???)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Years ago, while some friends were packing the car to leave, their daughter knocked over a Tiffany lamp and broke it. I didn’t ask for money. It was an accident.

So it was NICE of you not to ask for money for the lamp that their daughter broke, PP. However, you would have been well within reason to ask for it. And more importantly, the parents of the girl should have offered to pay you for it. (And then you could have very kindly declined their offer and waved it off IF YOU WANTED TO DO THAT.)

Just because something is "an accident" doesn't mean one is not responsible for the damage caused. This is true when your teen ACCIDENTALLY hits someone else's car with their own. And it is true when your kid knocks over a friend's Tiffany lamp. The person who caused the damage should take responsibility for causing the damage and make a reasonable attempt to repair it or pay for it to be repaired or replaced. (I can't fathom why this is even a discussion. When did this cease to be common sense and/or behavioral societal norm???)

Plus one million!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Years ago, while some friends were packing the car to leave, their daughter knocked over a Tiffany lamp and broke it. I didn’t ask for money. It was an accident.

So it was NICE of you not to ask for money for the lamp that their daughter broke, PP. However, you would have been well within reason to ask for it. And more importantly, the parents of the girl should have offered to pay you for it. (And then you could have very kindly declined their offer and waved it off IF YOU WANTED TO DO THAT.)

Just because something is "an accident" doesn't mean one is not responsible for the damage caused. This is true when your teen ACCIDENTALLY hits someone else's car with their own. And it is true when your kid knocks over a friend's Tiffany lamp. The person who caused the damage should take responsibility for causing the damage and make a reasonable attempt to repair it or pay for it to be repaired or replaced. (I can't fathom why this is even a discussion. When did this cease to be common sense and/or behavioral societal norm???)

It would be nice to offer, but it was an accident. It happens. A car accident is different than a lamp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP that is awful. I cannot get over how rude the parent was too! I would be livid, but cannot imagine asking people to pay.

Re:locking doors. I do it. My 12 year old has friends who will open any door and go hang in the room so I learned it's easier to lock them. I hear the kid struggle and I quickly run up-busted! Some kids are impulsive or just have poor boundaries still at this age. It's easy peasy to pick the lock, but sually the fact it is locked makes the kid think twice.

So, you CANNOT teach your own child to stay out of rooms and expect them to teach their friends the house rules? So, even after LOCKING the rooms, they still try yo get in and you have to rush upstairs to thwart them.

Do you not realize how serious this is?

We only have one room locked as it has tools/safety. We keep our house kid friendly with heavy things bolted to the walls. Its called parenting. Every home has different rules. We have a smaller house so its easy to keep track of kids. We don't really have any rooms except the workshop that is off limits when we are not in it. You still need to supervise kids. If they were playing video games and it got quiet, then you worry and check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP that is awful. I cannot get over how rude the parent was too! I would be livid, but cannot imagine asking people to pay.

Re:locking doors. I do it. My 12 year old has friends who will open any door and go hang in the room so I learned it's easier to lock them. I hear the kid struggle and I quickly run up-busted! Some kids are impulsive or just have poor boundaries still at this age. It's easy peasy to pick the lock, but sually the fact it is locked makes the kid think twice.

So, you CANNOT teach your own child to stay out of rooms and expect them to teach their friends the house rules? So, even after LOCKING the rooms, they still try yo get in and you have to rush upstairs to thwart them.

Do you not realize how serious this is?

Some of us have relaxed homes that kids are allowed to be in. My kids are welcome in all of our house as it is their house too. OP should have had a glass shelf bolted to the wall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP that is awful. I cannot get over how rude the parent was too! I would be livid, but cannot imagine asking people to pay.

Re:locking doors. I do it. My 12 year old has friends who will open any door and go hang in the room so I learned it's easier to lock them. I hear the kid struggle and I quickly run up-busted! Some kids are impulsive or just have poor boundaries still at this age. It's easy peasy to pick the lock, but sually the fact it is locked makes the kid think twice.

So, you CANNOT teach your own child to stay out of rooms and expect them to teach their friends the house rules? So, even after LOCKING the rooms, they still try yo get in and you have to rush upstairs to thwart them.

Do you not realize how serious this is?

Some of us have relaxed homes that kids are allowed to be in. My kids are welcome in all of our house as it is their house too. OP should have had a glass shelf bolted to the wall.

So why are you, or the PP, locking rooms? Why is that poster running upstairs to catch them trying to break in?

Your kids can do and go wherever and whenever they want, regardless of purpose?
Very concerning.

[Anonymous]

OP here. This is going to be a long post but a lot of the posters seem to be reading my posts wrong, So here's a full idea of what happened. So this last friday, my son invited over 3 other kids to play the wii: The two twins who I'm going to call A & B ,and the third child he invited that I'll call C. They went into his room and were setting up when DS realized he was missing a controller. DS came and told me, and I told them to alternate or do something else. They said they would alternate between players, and I left thinking they were fine. I went to the kitchen, which is on the other side of the house and started cutting vegetables. Meanwhile, A & B were arguing over who got the controller. DS was trying to calm them down. I couldn't hear them because their door was closed and they were on the other side of the house. I started washing potatoes so I didn't hear A&B running to the study. DS followed A&B to the study to see where they were going, and when they went in the study, DS was missing them and was going to tell me when A knocked over the shelf. I paused washing the potatoes and ran in, checked them all for cuts, and called their parents.The entire time leading up to the incident, C had stayed in the other room. There you go.
Also, I just finished cleaning up. I salvaged all the glass birds so I'll try to find a special glue for glass to see if I can rescue them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is going to be a long post but a lot of the posters seem to be reading my posts wrong, So here's a full idea of what happened. So this last friday, my son invited over 3 other kids to play the wii: The two twins who I'm going to call A & B ,and the third child he invited that I'll call C. They went into his room and were setting up when DS realized he was missing a controller. DS came and told me, and I told them to alternate or do something else. They said they would alternate between players, and I left thinking they were fine. I went to the kitchen, which is on the other side of the house and started cutting vegetables. Meanwhile, A & B were arguing over who got the controller. DS was trying to calm them down. I couldn't hear them because their door was closed and they were on the other side of the house. I started washing potatoes so I didn't hear A&B running to the study. DS followed A&B to the study to see where they were going, and when they went in the study, DS was missing them and was going to tell me when A knocked over the shelf. I paused washing the potatoes and ran in, checked them all for cuts, and called their parents.The entire time leading up to the incident, C had stayed in the other room. There you go.
Also, I just finished cleaning up. I salvaged all the glass birds so I'll try to find a special glue for glass to see if I can rescue them.

OP again. Just wanted to apologize for all the grammatical errors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is going to be a long post but a lot of the posters seem to be reading my posts wrong, So here's a full idea of what happened. So this last friday, my son invited over 3 other kids to play the wii: The two twins who I'm going to call A & B ,and the third child he invited that I'll call C. They went into his room and were setting up when DS realized he was missing a controller. DS came and told me, and I told them to alternate or do something else. They said they would alternate between players, and I left thinking they were fine. I went to the kitchen, which is on the other side of the house and started cutting vegetables. Meanwhile, A & B were arguing over who got the controller. DS was trying to calm them down. I couldn't hear them because their door was closed and they were on the other side of the house. I started washing potatoes so I didn't hear A&B running to the study. DS followed A&B to the study to see where they were going, and when they went in the study, DS was missing them and was going to tell me when A knocked over the shelf. I paused washing the potatoes and ran in, checked them all for cuts, and called their parents.The entire time leading up to the incident, C had stayed in the other room. There you go.
Also, I just finished cleaning up. I salvaged all the glass birds so I'll try to find a special glue for glass to see if I can rescue them.

Oh dear, OP. I fear you are making the classic mistake of a reasonable person, thinking that your clarifications will appease the crazies. It will not.

They will only come at you louder and longer about how you should have been in the room with them, should *never* have been all the way on the other side of the house where you couldn't adequately hear what was going on (the horror!), and how your whole house should be comprised only of blow-up furniture that can't break.



At any rate, I think this thread has given you your answer...that there are parents like you (us) who feel that children should be accountable for their actions and that even "accidents" caused by 11-year-old boys who are being careless should have consequences. And then there are parents like the one of the twin boys who will absolve their children of all wrongdoing and blame you for your unreasonable expectation that children should be expected to behave apopriately in someone else's home--and if/when they do not and something is broken...well that's obviously your fault for having them over and filling your home with breakable things. Sigh.

Now we know.

[Anonymous]

What is up with the PP posting 20 times about bolting things to the wall? Do you have some sort of obsessive disorder involving bolts? Truly bizarre posts. And I'm sure I'll get a reply going on about bolting things, because you can't help yourself. If there's ever a thread complaining about how someone bolted their Fios remote to the wall so their 17-year-old wouldn't hurt himself with it when unsupervised and now Verizon won't accept the return, we'll know who it is.

OP, unfortunately this seems to be an unfixable situation of bad parenting and terrible manners. Some things you have to experience for people to expose their true colors, and now all you can do is protect yourself in the future. Sorry this happened to you, how obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

OP Again. Thanks for all the feedback. I warned all of the other parents to watch out for people like this. My son decided himself to never invite those kids again, and I'm also in the process of getting my broken camera shipped so it can be replaced. Thank God for the warranty I purchased. I'm going to try to find some glue tomorrow to start repairing as many glass birds as I can. Once again, thanks for the help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Years ago, while some friends were packing the car to leave, their daughter knocked over a Tiffany lamp and broke it. I didn’t ask for money. It was an accident.

So it was NICE of you not to ask for money for the lamp that their daughter broke, PP. However, you would have been well within reason to ask for it. And more importantly, the parents of the girl should have offered to pay you for it. (And then you could have very kindly declined their offer and waved it off IF YOU WANTED TO DO THAT.)

Just because something is "an accident" doesn't mean one is not responsible for the damage caused. This is true when your teen ACCIDENTALLY hits someone else's car with their own. And it is true when your kid knocks over a friend's Tiffany lamp. The person who caused the damage should take responsibility for causing the damage and make a reasonable attempt to repair it or pay for it to be repaired or replaced. (I can't fathom why this is even a discussion. When did this cease to be common sense and/or behavioral societal norm???)

Plus one million!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sad the generation we are raising. I would have expected you to beat my ass with a belt regardless of who I was. My parents would have made me clean it up and of course apologize. But then again I would have never done anything like that.

Glad I’m not alone. Don’t agree with the belt beating, but everything else, yes.

[Anonymous]

I remember in preschool my kid was invited to a mansion for a playdate and they wanted me to do drop off. As soon as I saw all the expensive breakables EVERYWHERE I stayed. To be honest that same kid is now 12 and I would not leave him there. He is polite and respectful, but clumsy and it is NOT a kid friendly house.

I think kids should respect boundaries, but if you have a fancy pants room with fancy things you may want to go over the rules at the beginning and lock the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP that is awful. I cannot get over how rude the parent was too! I would be livid, but cannot imagine asking people to pay.

Re:locking doors. I do it. My 12 year old has friends who will open any door and go hang in the room so I learned it's easier to lock them. I hear the kid struggle and I quickly run up-busted! Some kids are impulsive or just have poor boundaries still at this age. It's easy peasy to pick the lock, but sually the fact it is locked makes the kid think twice.

So, you CANNOT teach your own child to stay out of rooms and expect them to teach their friends the house rules? So, even after LOCKING the rooms, they still try yo get in and you have to rush upstairs to thwart them.

Do you not realize how serious this is?

Some of us have relaxed homes that kids are allowed to be in. My kids are welcome in all of our house as it is their house too. OP should have had a glass shelf bolted to the wall.

No, the twins' parents should have warned OP about how little self control they have at 11. They should have been clear that following rules is a no no. OP's DS apparently is a normal 11 year old who can stay out of her study, she shouldn't need to childproof her house because of 11 year olds who aren't taught any discipline/manners.