Why do the moms hand in cliques at the games/matches?

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's like the Stepford Wives and they give a labotomy -- then the women only say hello to those who look like them pp

[Anonymous]

13:06's response to 12:46 appears to represent the issue 12:46 is illustrating. She's not being critical but 13:06 just assumed the worst and potentially comes across as super-sensitive. Maybe she is also doing this to the moms she meets and feels are snubbing her.

The main point is for one to consider that if you are consistently receiving a response you do not want to have, maybe you should take an inward look at what you may be doing to send these signals. Maybe your body language is closed, maybe you don't realize you are frowning or maybe you are avoiding eye contact. Maybe you are intimidating to others.

We had one mom at our school who just never introduced herself and we all assumed her child was a year older and not in our class. No one tried to make friends with her as we all assumed her kid hung out with another group. It was only after a teacher said something at the end of the year did we realize that she belonged in our class.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the women are just really rude -- did you consider that? And 17:15-- you are 12:46 -- a little sock puppeting for you?

[Anonymous]

There was a really stand-offish mom at our school. Her only goal was to get her second kid into NCS (which she did) at the price of bad-mouthing other kids who might be the competition (which she did, too). But try to be friendly with her and you'd get the ice treatment. Sometimes selfish and self-absorbed people are just that, selfish and self-absorbed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I now have children at Big 3 schools. The parents at those schools are friendly and the kids tend to not clique. The people are more diverse; perhaps the makes for a kinder atmosphere.
I do know first hand about Landon and I stick by my
previous post.

I agree. We only have one child at a Big 3 but I have found it to be a nice and welcoming community. If I had believed the things written on here about my child's school (by parents that don't have children at the school) I would have missed out on finding so many great families and friends. Personally I have found the moms at the second tier schools to be the worst. These are the people that applied to Big 3 schools (mostly Cathedral schools) and didn't get in and they just focus on nonsense and pettiness now. Very sad. I unfortunately had to deal with many of these people on a regular basis until recently!

[Anonymous]

19:12--which schools do you consider to be second tier?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Personally I have found the moms at the second tier schools to be the worst. These are the people that applied to Big 3 schools (mostly Cathedral schools) and didn't get in and they just focus on nonsense and pettiness now. Very sad. I unfortunately had to deal with many of these people on a regular basis until recently!

Congratulations on your social promotion.

[Anonymous]

19:12 - Do you find it ironic that your comments about "second tier" moms focus on "nonsense and pettiness" comes across as also being "nonsense and petty"?

Please, someone, help me. Obviously I've missed something really big as many seem to know absolutely which schools are second tier and which are "big 3". Did I miss a handout or some kind of proclamation?

[Anonymous]

No need to be snide pp -- I think the woman is speaking the truth and I never had a kid at what is defined here as "Big 3".

[Anonymous]

I wonder how much of this is about attitude and expectations coming in. If you start out with the attitude that your child's school and the families there are second-tier (with, of course, the exception of your own), your odds of making friends are probably not that good, especially if you see yourselves as ultimately headed for higher things. And then once you get to the promised land, the fact that you're prepared for rejection by the rich, powerful, and beautiful disposes you to overvalue every offhand hello. (A celebrity gets lauded as nice, friendly, and down-to-earth for once saying thank you to a barrista; for the rest of us, the bar is not so low.) The truth is probably that there are nice, welcoming families and not so nice, not so welcoming families at all schools, but people see what they want to see.

[Anonymous]

We've been over all of that Polyanna PP. Why do some people just refuse to admit that many of these moms are clueless and rude?

[Anonymous]

Like you, you mean?

[Anonymous]

No -- like you!

[Anonymous]

This is so edifying.

[Anonymous]

I think you make a good point. 19:12 referred to certain schools as "second tier" but has so far has refused to identify which schools she is referring to. It's a natural question--considering that many on this post still can't agree on what schools constitute the Big 3. And this poster raises an interesting post, did she think her DC's former school was "second tier" at the time that her DC attended? If she looked down on the other parents at the "second tier" school and somehow thought she was above them--and they were able to pick up on it--I could see why they might have been LESS than friendly.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder how much of this is about attitude and expectations coming in. If you start out with the attitude that your child's school and the families there are second-tier (with, of course, the exception of your own), your odds of making friends are probably not that good, especially if you see yourselves as ultimately headed for higher things. And then once you get to the promised land, the fact that you're prepared for rejection by the rich, powerful, and beautiful disposes you to overvalue every offhand hello. (A celebrity gets lauded as nice, friendly, and down-to-earth for once saying thank you to a barrista; for the rest of us, the bar is not so low.) The truth is probably that there are nice, welcoming families and not so nice, not so welcoming families at all schools, but people see what they want to see.